Tag: Marjorie Taylor Greene

Donald Trump endorses Jim Jordan to succeed Kevin McCarthy as U.S. House speaker

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Former President Donald Trump is officially backing Rep. Jim Jordan of Ohio, House Judiciary Committee chairman and long-time Donald Trump defender, to succeed Kevin McCarthy as House speaker.

“Congressman Jim Jordan has been a STAR long before making his very successful journey to Washington, D.C., representing Ohio’s 4th Congressional District,” Mr. Trump wrote on his Truth Social site shortly after midnight Friday. “He will be a GREAT Speaker of the House, & has my Complete & Total Endorsement!”

The announcement came hours after Texas Rep. Troy Nehls said on October 5 that Mr. Trump had decided to back Mr. Jordan’s bid and after Mr. Trump had been in talks to visit Capitol Hill next week as Republicans debate who should be the next speaker following Mr. McCarthy’s stunning ouster.

The trip would have been Donald Trump’s first to the Capitol since leaving office and since his supporters attacked the building in a bid to halt the peaceful transition of power on January 6, 2021. Mr. Trump has been indicted in both Washington and Georgia over his efforts to overturn the results of the election, which he lost to President Joe Biden.

Donald Trump, the current GOP Presidential front-runner, has used the leadership vacuum on the Hill to further demonstrate his control over the Republican Party. House Republicans are deeply fractured and some have been asking him to lead them — a seemingly fanciful suggestion that he also promoted after inflaming the divisions that forced out Kevin McCarthy as Speaker.

Mr. Trump had been telling people in recent days that he preferred Jim Jordan for the post, according to two Republicans familiar with his thinking and granted anonymity to discuss it. But it was unclear whether he intended to announce it before Mr. Nehls’ tweet.

“Just had a great conversation with President Trump about the Speaker’s race. He is endorsing Jim Jordan, and I believe Congress should listen to the leader of our party,” Mr. Nehls wrote late Thursday on X, formerly known as Twitter.

Explained | What are the implications of Kevin McCarthy’s ouster?

In an interview with The Associated Press, Mr. Nehls, who had been encouraging Donald Trump himself to run for job, said the former President had made up his mind.

“After him thinking about it and this and that … he said he really is in favour of getting behind Jim Jordan,” Mr. Nehls said. “He believes Jim Jordan is right for the job.”

Jim Jordan is one of the two leading candidates manoeuvering for Speaker along with Rep. Steve Scalise of Louisiana. Both are trying to lock in the 218 votes required to win the job and need the support of both the far-right and moderate factions of the party. It’s unclear whether a Trump endorsement will force Mr. Scalise, the current GOP majority leader, out of the race.

Mr. Nehls said that if no current candidate succeeds in earning the support needed to win, he would once again turn to Mr. Trump. “Our conference is divided. Our country is broken. I don’t know who can get to 218,” he said in an interview.

Earlier, Donald Trump had told Fox News Digital that he was heading to Washington on Tuesday to meet with Republicans. Three people familiar with the matter disclosed the talks about visiting the Capitol to The Associated Press, speaking on condition of anonymity ahead of an official announcement. Mr. Nehls, however, said it was unlikely Mr. Trump would make the trip.

Mr. Trump would most likely have attended a closed-door candidate forum that Republicans plan to hold Tuesday evening ahead of a Speakership vote that could happen as soon as on Wednesday, according to one of the people familiar with the matter.

Mr. Jordan is also one of Donald Trump’s biggest champions on the Hill and has been leading the investigations into prosecutors who have charged the former President. He was also part of a group of Republicans who worked with Mr. Trump to overturn his defeat ahead of January 6. Mr. Scalise has also worked closely with Mr. Trump over the years.

One of the people familiar with the planning had cautioned earlier on Thursday that, if Mr. Trump did go ahead with the visit, he would be there to talk with Republican lawmakers and not to pitch himself for the role.

Still, Mr. Trump continued to stoke speculation, telling Fox News Digital on Thursday that he would accept a short-term role as Speaker — for anywhere from 30 to 90 days — if another candidate doesn’t have the votes to win.

“I have been asked to speak as a unifier because I have so many friends in Congress,” he told the outlet. “If they don’t get the vote, they have asked me if I would consider taking the Speakership until they get somebody longer-term, because I am running for President.”

In a social media post earlier in the day, he added that he “will do whatever is necessary to help with the Speaker of the House selection process, short term, until the final selection of a GREAT REPUBLICAN SPEAKER is made – A Speaker who will help a new, but highly experienced President, ME, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”

The Republican conference is filled with members generally supportive of Donald Trump, but whether they’d back him to serve as Speaker remained to be seen. The role is a demanding position — effectively running the Capitol and dealing with hundreds of lawmakers — and requires an attention to the arcane details of legislating that Mr. Trump showed little interest in even when he was President.

While he is dominating his GOP Presidential rivals, Mr. Trump is also still travelling to early primary states to campaign and has been spending much of his time focussed on the four criminal indictments and several civil cases he is facing.

While there is no requirement that a person be elected to the House to serve as Speaker, every one of the 55 Speakers the House has elected has been a member of the chamber. From time to time, lawmakers have thrown their votes to those outside of Congress, often as a protest against the candidates running.

Mr. Trump helped Mr. McCarthy win the Speakership in January after 15 rounds of voting. But he exhorted Republicans to impeach Joe Biden and to reject deals that McCarthy negotiated. Last month, he urged the right flank to support a government shutdown if Republicans did not win deep spending cuts, declaring on social media that the GOP “lost big on Debt Ceiling, got NOTHING, and now are worried that they will be BLAMED for the Budget Shutdown. Wrong!!! Whoever is President will be blamed, in this case, Crooked (as Hell!) Joe Biden!”

Kevin McCarthy ultimately moved to keep the government open for 45 days without the cuts demanded by hard-right conservatives. Rep. Matt Gaetz, a Florida Republican and long-time Donald Trump ally, cited that decision as reason to move to depose the Speaker.

Among those who had pushed Mr. Trump for Speaker was Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, a long-time Trump ally who didn’t vote to remove Mr. McCarthy. She posted on X that she believed “he would take the job.”

Mr. Nehls, the Texas Republican who was among the first to promote Mr. Trump for the job, said before his Thursday evening conservation with Mr. Trump that he’d been contacted “by multiple Members of Congress willing to support and offer nomination speeches for Donald J. Trump to be Speaker of the House.” “Next week,” he wrote on X, “is going to be HUGE.”

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Oh No, What Is Joe Biden Doing To James Comer’s Informants Who Are Definitely Real And Not Imaginary?

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We have been having our little fun watching House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer flail around as he pretends he’s presenting hard evidence against the Bidens to the American people. He has nothing. It’s super-fuckin’ obvious. Fox News knows it. Quite frankly it kind of seems to be annoying them, because they were promised Biden investigations, and this dumb hick can’t manage to make up a damn thing. At least when they were hounding Hillary Clinton for years on end, they were able to scream “Benghazi!” and “Emails!” and they felt like they were saying something.

This is not that.

Comer went on Fox News with deflated Muppet costume Maria Bartiromo this weekend, and she wanted to ask hard journalism questions about “this coverup.” Her face was so serious, like she was a real reporter. But she accidentally got something hilarious out of Comer:

www.youtube.com

BARTIROMO: You have spoken with whistleblowers. You also spoke with an informant who gave you all of this information. Where is that informant today? Where are these whistleblowers?

COMER: Well, unfortunately we can’t track down the informant. We are hopeful that the informant is still there. The whistleblower knows the informant, the whistleblower is very credible.

Unfortunately, the informant has runnt away and Jamie Comer dunnot know whar he is. Heh heh heh. But don’t worry, Jamie Comer will find him wharever he’s hidin’. Maybe he is in the garage. Maybe he’s over yonder in the chicken coop.

Dangit, informant, whar yew at?

The informant is real, though. Jamie Comer seen him. Jamie Comer done come outside and the informant said, “Sir, I have a secret about Hunter Biden’s devil penis,” and Jamie Comer could tell they was real.

So, the very real informant and the very real whistleblower, these are two very real and separate people and not imaginary friends or Russian spies or imaginary Russian spies.

Except wait hold on a second:

BARTIROMO: Hold on a second, Congressman. Did you just say that the whistleblower or the informant is now missing?

COMER: Well, we’re hopeful that we can find the informant. Now remember, these informants are kind of in the spy business, so they don’t make a habit of being seen a lot or being high profile or anything like that.

“The spy business.”

Y’all, even Maria Bartiromo’s face was:

COMER: We have basic information with respect to what the informant has alleged, and it’s very serious! It alleges that Joe Biden when he was vice president was involved in a quid pro quo with a foreign country in exchange for foreign aid.

He pronounced it “quid pro crow.” Latin’s tough for guys like Jamie Comer.

Anyway, we hate it when the vice president of the United States withholds foreign aid. Definitely something the vice president does all the time. You know how they’re the ones who set policy and the foreign aid budget.

Also, it’s funny how those outlines are so similar to the criminal extortion Donald Trump was actually caught doing, trying to force Ukraine to help him steal the 2020 election.

It’s like Comer’s plan here is literally as half-witted as just accusing Biden of exactly what Trump did, but in the mostly brainlessly vague terms possible, and hoping the entire country is too stupid to notice that he’s trying to take all the proper nouns out of the Trump Mad Lib and replace them with Biden words.

BARTIROMO: Are there whistleblowers or informants missing right now?

COMER: [blah blah blah words that don’t mean things] Nine of the 10 people that we’ve identified that have very good knowledge with respect to the Bidens, they’re one of three things, Maria, they’re either currently in court, they’re currently in jail, or they’re currently missing.

Oh no, nine of the 10 people who know the things about the Bidens are one of three things, and one of those things is “in court.”

Okeydoke.

Comer bitched and moaned that the FBI won’t play along with his random accusations, and he babbled that “no president” has ever been accused of the things Biden has. (He hasn’t accused Biden of anything specific.)

And he baselessly said that the people who want to come forward and say things about the Bidens, “They fear for their LAAAAAAAAH-VES!” You betcha.

Bartiromo, if she was genuinely skeptical for even a moment when she was making that face above, went right back to being one of the dumbest, most gullible motherfuckers on Fox News. “This is absolutely extraordinary and it is stunning that some people are missing that you need to prove this!”

She continued:

BARTIROMO: Who in the White House is intimidating these people? Do you know?

COMER: I do know. We’re saving that for a later time.

Of course he is.

It’s funny because Trump and his administration were especially known for witness intimidation and tampering. The judge in the E. Jean Carroll case literally just advised the jurors not to make their identities known for a good long while, if ever.

Speaking to Bartiromo, Comer also accused the Democrats on his committee of acting as “defense attorneys for the Biden family.”

All of this is 100 percent the most laughable kind of projection. Jamie Comer might be stupid enough to think he’s being clever, and the 30 percent of Americans he’s playing to might be that stupid too.

That’s it, that’s the tweet.

Speaking of “that stupid,” here are two of the flying monkeys. Charlie Kirk is really leaning into the conspiracy theory and shitting his pants on command about nine whistleblowers being missing. Marjorie Taylor Greene may not have memorized her lines yet.

You’re all doing great and Jesus loves you.

The end.

UPDATE: Oh no, now she’s going to ask everybody where the informant is. Here she is this morning with GOP Rep. Tim Burchett. this is so GD sad.

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I would like a BlueSky invite.

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Tucker So Mad Nobody Talking About How Leaker Exposed Secret HOT WAR Between Russia And 14 US Troops

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Well, that didn’t take long.

Yesterday, a 21-year-old Massachusetts Air National Guard member named Jack Teixeira was arrested in connection with the Discord leaks. It sounds like this wasn’t some high-tech dude who really covered his tracks, since earlier that day, the Washington Post was reporting on the extensive conversations it had with a teenager in the dude’s Discord group, who among other things showed WaPo a video of the guy shooting guns while yelling racist and antisemitic slurs.

It was then that we personally knew MAGA types were going to get a red hot doggie boner for this guy, whoever he was.

It’s that, but it’s also so much more than that. On top of the red hot doggie boner, they are just lying about what the leaks say, because they know their followers are too stupid and trusting to check things for themselves. Specifically, they are lying and saying the leaked documents show America is in a secret hot war against Russia, and that the Biden administration is lying about it. Ayup.

Obviously Tucker Carlson went hard last night.

Nikki McCann Ramirez reports at Rolling Stone:

“Tonight, the news media are celebrating the capture of the kid who told Americans what’s actually happening in Ukraine,” Carlson told viewers. He continued, “They are treating him like Osama Bin Laden, maybe even worse actually, because, unlike Al Qaeda, apparently, this kid is a racist.” The host was referring to reports that the Discord server in which Teixeira shared the documents contained several racist memes.

Oh no, what is the truth? And how are they treating him worse than Bin Laden? Are they raiding his compound in Pakistan? And how dare they call him a racist just because he’s apparently a racist who shoots guns in the air while yelling racist things? If they start calling people racist just because they’re always saying racist things, then …

Oh no, Tucker, what is ACTUALLY HAPPENING in Ukraine?

As Ramirez explains, the documents say there are 14 US special forces in Ukraine. (Yes, 14.) This means, according to Tucker, that he’s been right all along and this is really America’s war in Ukraine against Russia. Why did we only secretly deploy 14 troops? Probably because the rest of the military is woke and full of Dylan Mulvaney’s Bud Light and there were only 14 among the entire American fighting force who were combat-ready, but we imagine that’s a Tucker monologue for another time.

“The United States is a direct combatant in a war against Russia. As we speak, American soldiers are fighting Russian soldiers,” Carlson claimed, “This is a hot war between the two primary nuclear superpowers on Earth. And yet, this war has never been formally declared. It has not been authorized by Congress. And for that reason, this war is a violation of American law. It is a crime.”

Fourteen US special forces. Against hundreds of thousands of Russians who illegally invaded Ukraine and immediately started executing and raping and torturing kids. You know, just to remind you what the country Tucker does propaganda for has actually been doing there. What atrocities Tucker’s real father Putin is responsible for.

Fourteen US special forces. Sounds like they’re just at the embassy in Kyiv, doing embassy stuff.

But that’s how Tucker is selling his lie that actually this is an illegal American war against his adopted motherland, which he really ought to fuck off to. Even though, as Ramirez notes here, Fox News’s own correspondent Jacqui Heinrich confirmed the reporting that the 14 special forces are just at the embassy doing shit there.

Ramirez also notes that Heinrich is the very reporter Tucker wanted fired after the 2020 election, because she called bullshit on Donald Trump’s Big Lie on TV. Tucker and other Fox News hosts were busy actively and knowingly lying to their viewers about the election at that time. Couldn’t have news reporters reporting the news, it was getting in the way of their lying.

Anyway, back to Teixeira AKA Tucker’s new barely legal boy crush:

“What’s happening to this leaker now is what happens to anyone who contradicts the National Security State and their obedient servants in the media. You go to prison.”

Uh huh, OK, sure, maybe Tucker can bake him some brownies and go visit him at the jail or something.

We don’t know the full story yet on this dumbass Jack Teixeira. We don’t know if he’s just a stupid racist MAGA idiot who thought it was cool to share intelligence he improperly stole with his stupid friends on Discord, or if he had been somehow turned or was being used, wittingly or unwittingly, by our enemies. It definitely sounds like the first part is true. He seems like an absolute loser.

Here’s a really interesting clip of NBC News reporter Ben Collins talking about the chain of custody of the leaked documents, how they started with the little racist gun-humper nerd trying to impress his video game friends on the video game chat:

But anyway, back to Tucker’s show. Oh god, there was so much whining.

Tucker bitched and moaned that the media is hiding the REAL secrets of the leaks, and that the New York Times and Washington Post conspired with the FBI and used “illegal surveillance techniques” to track the dude down. He invited his buddy Glenn Greenwald on so they could bitch and moan together about all the things Glenn and the white supremacist fascists are mad about regarding this. Surprise! Glenn repeated the thing about how these docs reveal that American officials LIED and there are American “boots on the ground” in Ukraine.

(Twenty-eight boots, to be precise. At the embassy in Kyiv. Doin’ embassy stuff.)

Tucker agreed that it is appalling that the media colluded with the Deep State to hide that we are in a “direct hot war” with Russia. Tucker said this is the “most significant fact of our generation.” (Uncle Sam wants YOU! But only 14 of you! The rest you just keep being woke and transgender and reading your gay poems on battleships!)

Here’s video of that, if you have fuckall to do:

It really is amazing how quickly Vladimir Putin’s fluffers in America have decided this loser is the best thing since sliced (white) bread, and how their talking points got coordinated so fast.

Speaking of that, hi there, Marjorie Taylor Greene.

Here’s the full text of that:

Jake Teixeira is white, male, christian, and antiwar. That makes him an enemy to the Biden regime. And he told the truth about troops being on the ground in Ukraine and a lot more. Ask yourself who is the real enemy? A young low level national guardsmen? Or the administration that is waging war in Ukraine, a non-NATO nation, against nuclear Russia without war powers?

Again, SO WEIRD, how quickly their talking points came together. Or as Greg Sargent tweeted, “It’s interesting how direct and open the pro-Putin right is in linking Russia’s fortunes to those of the illiberal authoritarian white Christian secession movement in the United States.”

Except it’s not surprising.

All these people are traitors to America and to the entire free world and everything good that exists in it.

In summary and in conclusion, Tucker was really mad in 2017 when Reality Winner leaked government secrets that exposed Russian crimes against America in the 2016 election. Called her a felon and everything. Just saying.

That’s it, that’s our summary and conclusion.

[Rolling Stone]

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Sounds Like Somebody Should Investigate Congressional Hunter Biden Enthusiast GOP Rep. James Comer

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We feel like it was just five seconds ago that we saw Republican House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer on the teevee babbling conspiracy theory shit about Hunter Biden and Ukraine and Joe Biden and prosecutors that was debunked YEARS AGO during Donald Trump’s first impeachment.

And boy, we thought, Comer must have NOTHING on the Bidens.

Fox News seemed exasperated the other day asking Comer if he had any actual dirt on the Bidens. Comer just begged for more time and babbled illiterate Kentucky livestock words about “doesn’t add up.”

Let’s read in the New York Times about how Comer has standards for the information he guzzles down, and how difficult it is for him to keep folks from bringing him silly QAnon arglebargle, which is different from the very serious science investigations he is doing into Hunter Biden’s Ukrainian penis. Because he thinks that stuff is pretty important, mmkay?

Steering his S.U.V. through pounding rain on his way to the state capital on a recent Thursday, Representative James R. Comer, the chairman of the Oversight and Accountability Committee, reflected on the pressure he often faced from constituents to investigate unhinged claims about President Biden and Democrats.

“You know, the customer’s always right,” Mr. Comer said wryly, of his approach to the people who elected him and now brandish conspiracy theories, vulgar photographs featuring the president and his son, Hunter, and other lies they expect him to act upon.

“I say, ‘Let me see it,’ because I want to see where the source is,” Mr. Comer said. “They don’t know that it’s QAnon, but it’s QAnon stuff.”

James Comer is very discerning when it comes to picking out the highest quality information about Hunter Biden’s Ukrainian business and/or laptop and/or ding-a-ling. He knows some of the the stuff QAnon says about Hunter Biden is HORNSWOGGLE.

James Comer knows the difference.

Of course, the Times does note that Comer “has himself become a promoter of sinister-sounding allegations against Mr. Biden and his family.” That’s one way to say “peddles absolute bullshit.” And is just a partisan hack and a clown in general. And is a sick fuck who wishes Joe Biden’s dead son Beau Biden had been investigated more.

But he’s not an idiot like some of these people.

Totally unrelated, we are sure, but the Times notes that Comer’s Oversight Committee has people like Marjorie Taylor Greene on it, and he asks how much he can really control members like that. “It’s hard for a coach to tell LeBron James what he’s doing wrong,” says Comer, who apparently thinks Greene has things in common with LeBron James.

But this is an entire NYT profile of a man it says “presents himself as an affable country boy of limited abilities,” so let’s see what other gross nuggets about Comer we can pull out of the dungheap.

Investigate Trump? How’s he gonna find Hunter Biden’s tallywhacker in there?

Just recently it was reported that the House Oversight Committee had kinda quietly stopped investigating Donald Trump’s finances. “What exactly are they looking for?” Comer asked the New York Times. “They’ve been ‘investigating’ Trump for six years. I know exactly what I’m investigating: money the Bidens received from China.”

Or as we like to call it, Hunter Biden’s CERTIFIED ANGUS WANGUS!

And of course, Comer has also quit investigating Jared Kushner’s TWO BILLION BUCKAROOS from the Saudis. Nothing to see there, probably. And how brazen he really is about why:

While he did not rule out looking at Mr. Kushner’s business dealings at some point, when a reporter suggested it might be politically unsustainable for him to investigate Mr. Trump’s son-in-law, he took a long pause, then replied: “I don’t disagree with what you said.”

He reckons that what that reporter had said is the truth. There will be no investigatin’ of Jared Kushner. Not on Sheriff Jamie Comer’s watch, pew pew pew. (They call that idiot Jamie back in Kentucky, and we think we ought to do the same.)

DOMESTIC ABUSE ALLEGATIONS, ABORTIONS, EMAILS, OH MY!

The Times profile tells us some things we feel should be more front of mind whenever we bring up Mr. Comer. Some of it we already knew, but deserves more attention. Some of it is BRAND new. Like how in 2015, Comer, who has a long history in Kentucky politics, was running in the Republican primary for governor, and a blogger started reporting allegations that when Comer was in college, he had abused his girlfriend.

So here’s what Comer did:

His campaign turned over documents to a local prosecutor to help in an investigation of the blogger. (The prosecutor dropped the investigation after the election.)

The month before the primary, a story appeared in The Lexington Herald-Leader in which leaked emails suggested coordination between the blogger and the husband of the running mate of one of Mr. Comer’s opponents in the race, the Louisville developer Hal Heiner.

The rumor whispered around Kentucky political circles at the time was that Mr. Comer had swiped the emails from the computer server for the husband’s former law firm and leaked them to the newspaper. In an interview with The Times, Mr. Comer confirmed, for the first time, that he had been behind the leak and strongly hinted he had gotten them from the server.

“I’ve had two servers in my lifetime,” Mr. Comer said when asked about the emails. “Hunter Biden’s is one, and you can — I’m not going to say who the other one was, but you can use your imagination.”

Wait, so he had stolen emails that he used to discredit the people reporting on allegations from a former girlfriend that he had abused her. And now he is admitting that aw shucks, yes, he was the one who leaked those stolen emails.

His decision to leak the emails backfired. The former college girlfriend, Marilyn Thomas, was angry about being called a liar and sent a four-page letter to a reporter at The Louisville Courier-Journal who published a devastating story just weeks before Primary Day.

In the letter, which The Times obtained and authenticated, Ms. Thomas accused Mr. Comer of having hit her and said he had taken her to a clinic for an abortion, an account that was supported by her roommate at the time. The article reported Ms. Thomas’s claim that she had a document in a lock box in a Kentucky bank proving Mr. Comer had accompanied her for the abortion, but the document has never been made public.

Dang he sounds like a charmer a hypocrite, a shitweasel, and a criminal. According to reporting in 2015, he was furious when he found out he’d have to use his real name at the abortion clinic in Louisville when filling out the form attesting he would drive Thomas home.

He still denies all this, of course. Sounds to us like there ought to be an ethics investigation at the very least. Or maybe he should just resign.

There’s more in the Times profile, should you want to read it.

We think we’ll just sit here and reflect on what we’ve learned about the credibility of one Mr. Jamie Comer, the self-appointed Inspector Gadget of Hunter Biden’s Penis.

[New York Times]

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Everybody Hates Tucker’s January 6 Sedition Porn Recruitment Video, Even Republican Senators

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Quick follow-up on Tucker Carlson’s lies about how January 6 was just an old white people Sunday school class field trip. It turns out that there are at least some Republicans who weren’t into it!

SOME LIES! Tucker Reveals Ashli Babbitt Just Girl Scout Who Tried To Sell Thin Mints At Wrong House

Obviously, we don’t mean the kinds of Republicans who truly form the ideological mainstream of the party, seditionist, domestic-terrorist-supporting freakshows like Marjorie Taylor Greene. We are not talking about the hordes of Republican feral hogs in the House of Representatives who oink Kevin McCarthy’s daily marching orders at him.

But over there in the Senate, they are not so much into what Tucker and Barely Speaker Kevin are doing. And it’s not just antifa super-soldier woke hippie types like Mitt Romney either, though he was one of ’em, saying that Tucker Carlson’s lying propaganda about January 6 is “dangerous and disgusting.” And also:

In general it sounds like mainstream Republican senators are not cool with Kevin ‘n’ Tucker’s little insurrection-promoting timeshare presentation. CNN’s Manu Raju and other reporters talked to a bunch of them, and actually got them on the record.

Senator Kevin Cramer from North Dakota said, “To somehow put that in the same category as a permitted peaceful protest is just a lie.” He says give everybody all the footage. “[G]ive it to every source at the same time and let everybody go through it and play it in its entirety.”

Thom Tillis from North Carolina was more succinct: “I think it’s bullshit.” He said maybe there were a handful of tourists in the crowd, but:

“But when you see police barricades breached, when you see police officers assaulted, all of that … If you were just a tourist you should have probably lined up at the Visitor Center and came in on an orderly basis. I just don’t think it’s helpful.”

Mike Rounds from South Dakota said, “I thought it was an insurrection at that time. I still think it was an insurrection today.” He says give all journalists all the footage.

John Thune from South Dakota: “I think it was an attack on the Capitol. … There were a lot of people in the Capitol at the time that were scared for their lives.”

Chuck Grassley from Iowa: “The point is, what happened that day shouldn’t have happened.”

These mainstream Republican senators do not sound very committed to Insurrectionist Sparkle Motion, not very committed at all. NBC News has a bunch more quotes, all from the same senators.

Here’s some more video:

Meanwhile, CNN also has the reaction of the Capitol Police chief, Tom Manger, who sounds pissed. He said Tucker “cherry-picked” his footage, and that was just the beginning:

“Last night an opinion program aired commentary that was filled with offensive and misleading conclusions about the January 6 attack,” Manger wrote in an internal department memo obtained by CNN, adding that Carlson’s show didn’t reach out to the police department “to provide accurate context.”

“The program conveniently cherry-picked from the calmer moments of our 41,000 hours of video. The commentary fails to provide context about the chaos and violence that happened before or during these less tense moments,” Manger said.

Manger was specifically pissed that Tucker aired some footage of fallen Capitol Police officer Brian Sicknick, as part of the insurrectionist propaganda campaign to convince people Sicknick didn’t die because of the events of January 6:

“[T]he most disturbing accusation from last night was that our late friend and colleague Brian Sicknick’s death had nothing to do with his heroic actions on January 6,” Manger wrote. “The Department maintains, as anyone with common sense would, that had Officer Sicknick not fought valiantly for hours on the day he was violently assaulted, Officer Sicknick would not have died the next day.”

When the actual victims of a terrorist attack and their families are calling you a piece of shit, it might be time to rethink your approach. But Tucker’s never one to let a moral compass or human decency get in the way of his propaganda. He’s fighting a war here, and he’s not on the same side as the people who protect the United States Capitol.

We’ve mentioned the statement from Sicknick’s family here today, but we ought to give it a little more airtime:

“Every time the pain of that day seems to have ebbed a bit, organizations like Fox rip our wounds wide open again and we are frankly sick of it,” the Sicknick family said. […]

“FOX has shown time and time again that they are little more than the propaganda arm of the Republican Party and like Pravda, will do whatever they are told to keep the hatred and the lies flowing while suppressing anything resembling the truth,” the family said. “Fox does this not for any sense of morality as they have none, but for the quest for every penny of advertising money they can get from those who buy airtime from them.”

Those are mere excerpts. The whole thing is so much more.

Give all the journalists all the tapes. If you don’t, then the terrorists win. Literally.

[CNN / CBS News]

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Sunday Shows: Post-State Of The Union Rundown

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We’ve had a lot of fun since liveblogging President Joe Biden’s State of the Union address. We’ve mocked the official unhinged Republican response,the public ritualistic humiliation of Rick Scott and Mike Lee, as well as the crazy lengths that Tucker Carlson has gone to save the GOP’s face.

The Republicans who appeared on the Sunday shows continued flailing and set themselves up for more mockery. Let’s watch!

Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t

On CNN’s “State Of The Union” with Jake Tapper, Chairman of the Intelligence Committee Rep. Mike Turner of Ohio was all to eager to prove us correct when we pointed out Republicans’ bad-faith criticism of the “Chinese Balloon Crisis” last week.

youtu.be

When Tapper asked about the two flying objects shot down this week over Canada and Alaska, Turner made it clear Republicans have no issue with political inconsistency.

TURNER: Yes, well, I certainly don’t know, as the administration is saying they don’t know. They do appear somewhat trigger-happy, although this is certainly preferable to the permissive environment that they showed when the Chinese spy balloon was coming over some of our most sensitive sites.

“Trigger-happy”?! After all their whining and posturing about shooting at the sky, they have the gall to now act like the Biden Administration is paranoid or “trigger-happy”? Turner, when asked about the discovery of further classified documents on a laptop and thumb drive belonging to a Trump aide, topped his hypocrisy with an extra helping of good ole’ whataboutism.

TURNER: […] They are not to be taken lightly. And we’re just amazed as people keep finding them stuffed in the strangest places like behind Biden’s Corvette. This is —this is clearly a failure of an understanding of how to handle the importance of these documents.

This lack of unseriousness and blatant partisanship is what we have to expect for the next two years.

We Aren’t Cutting Social Security, Just Taking It To A Nice Farm Upstate

Rep. Turner was followed on “State Of The Union” by Sen. Mike Rounds of South Dakota, who wanted to make sure that Biden was wrong about Republicans’ intentions regarding Social Security.

youtu.be

ROUNDS: […] I think that’s misleading in terms of what he really intended to do. But, look, the bottom line is, is, Republicans want to see Social Security be successful and be improved. […]

Well, you know what, maybe Biden was wrong and Republicans’ intentions are noble, regardless of Rick Scott or Mike Lee. So, what is the senator’s great plan to improve Social Security and make it more successful?

ROUNDS: […] I kind of look at security the way I would at the Department of Defense and our defense spending. We’re never going to not fund defense. But, at the same time, we — every single year, we look at how we can make it better. […]

So Republicans want to fund Social Security on a year-by-year basis?! I’m sure a lot of the seniors reliant on those benefits will be happy to know they’d be dependent on the Republican Party’s political games and whims every year.

I guess a cut by any other name would still make Scott’s shriveled heart flutter.

Influence Peddling Is Bad … Unless It’s Jared Kushner

Over on ABC’s “This Week” with George Stephanopoulos, Chairman of the Oversight Committee Rep. James Comer assured everyone that his committee will take the buying of influence very seriously.

COMER: Now I don’t disagree with the Democrats and their criticism of the previous administration. We have a problem here that needs a legislative solution. That’s why this Biden investigation is so important. There’s a legislative solution to this, and it can be bipartisan. The Democrats complained about Kushner’s foreign dealings. Republicans are certainly complaining about the entire Biden family’s foreign business dealings.

But when Stephanopoulos pushed Comer on why it seems that they’re taking no actions on Kushner or the Trumps (other than lip service), Comer made it clear that his committee is just weaponizing the government for partisanship. Again.

COMER: […] The difference between Jared Kushner and Hunter Biden is that Jared Kushner actually sat down [and] was interviewed. He was interviewed by investigators. So he’s already been investigated. […]

Thankfully, Stephanopoulos did a final fact-check before Comer slimed out the door.

STEPHANOPOULOS: […] I think we only learned of the $2 billion Saudi investment from the Washington Post this morning, at least the details of it.

Unless James Comer’s committee is full of Minority Report pre-crime investigators, it is pretty clear that the congressman’s full of shit.

The Real Meaning of “Woke”

We end with New Hampshire Gov. Chris Sununu on CBS’s “Face The Nation” with Margaret Brennan.

youtu.be

When asked about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis’s ongoing culture war against Disney, Sununu tried to describe his opposition to “woke cancel culture.” Brennan asked for a simple explanation of whatever Sununu meant by “woke,” and he quickly descended into gobbledygook.

SUNUNU: It’s the … it’s the divisiveness … divisiveness […] Where it is me versus you. Whereas if you are not adhering to my ideals, then I’m going to cancel you out. It is us versus them. It is this binary, where everything’s a war. […]

Oh! Guess by that logic we can start counting Marjorie Taylor Greene, Tucker Carlson, January 6th insurrectionists, and Ron DeSantis as “woke.”

However, Sununu successfully demonstrated that “woke” and “cancel culture” are right-wing dog whistles that, like “critical race theory,” they can’t coherently describe. Despite his efforts at distancing himself from other Republicans, he also proved our theory that “good Republicans” are not a thing. It is the media’s attempt at “fetch.”

Have a week.

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GOP Hunts For Hunter Biden’s Wangus, Finds Trump Sobbing About Chrissy Teigen ‘Pussy Ass Bitch’ Tweet Instead

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GOP Rep. James Comer’s House Oversight Committee is holding a hearing today about the Biden campaign’s apparently unreasonable requests that Twitter take down pictures of Hunter Biden’s wing-wang in the run-up to the 2020 election. Also, Twitter censored a New York Post story about LAPTOP111!1 for like six seconds. All of this obviously stole the election from its rightful winner, Donald Trump.

Strangely, though, former Twitter execs have testified that actually thin-skinned Donald Trump was the one who called Twitter whining and begging for tweets that hurt his feelings to be taken down. Specifically, there was that time Chrissy Teigen called him a “pussy ass bitch.”

He was very, very upset about that.

Here’s that tweet, for posterity and forever:

And here’s a screen-grabbed version, in case Elon hears this and breaks his leg sprinting for the delete button.

Twitter

Teigen has responded:

So there’s your TWITTER FILES. And that’s how things are going in that House Oversight Committee hearing today. James Comer’s hearing about how Twitter hid Hunter Biden’s penis under a bushel instead of letting its light shine where Republicans can bask in it.

Boy are we glad Republicans are in control and can do “oversight” now.

Democratic ranking member Jamie Raskin opened the hearing eloquently explaining what a fucking waste of time it is to investigate Hunter Biden’s wing-wang and his laptop. He explained that Twitter, as a private company, was allowed to do whatever it wanted with New York Post articles about Hunter Biden’s laptop.

Former Twitter executives gave some truly fascinating testimony about the company’s failures before the domestic terrorist attack of January 6, and how the company actually worked to make sure world war three didn’t start on Twitter after Donald Trump assassinated that Iranian general. They talked about Russian disinfo on the platform. They’ve talked about a number of interesting things.

In response, Republicans have thrown poo, because these fucking morons are so delusional they really think this laptop would have prevented the most hated man in the world from losing the election. They’ve babbled about how Matt Taibbi and Elon Musk have proven that Twitter was a “subsidiary of the FBI.” (That was Nancy Mace, being a full of shit liar.)

Jim Jordan has been blabbing all day, but you can just watch this seven seconds and skip the rest:

And then watch Democratic Rep. Gerry Connolly making fun of Jim Jordan for sucking at Congress:

Connolly beat the shit out of Republicans the whole time, and that’s how we got to the whole thing about Chrissy Teigen calling Trump a “pussy ass bitch” and Trump CRYYYYYYYYING about it to Twitter.

Just watch this clip.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez kicked a whole lot of ass too, about what a waste of time and resources this hearing was, about how actually Twitter bent over backward constantly to accommodate Donald Trump, and finally about the lying campaigns of the Libs of TikTok account against LGBTQ+ people and children that are proliferating this very day.

Wanna hear what Marjorie Taylor Greene sounds like when she’s MAD? She is MAD Twitter broke the law (no) by suspending her, and she is MAD that Twitter colluded with the CIA and the DHS and the Deep State to shadow-ban all the conservatives, and she is MAD that Twitter wouldn’t let anybody learn about curing COVID with horse paste, and oh boy, if she was your mom and she was yelling at you, you would laugh and laugh and laugh, and then you’d get in more trouble because you’re not supposed to laugh when mom is yelling at you.

Then she called former Twitter exec Yoel Roth a pedophile to his face, in case you wondered how vile she really is.

Congress is forever stained by that bigoted, lying piece of homophobic human trash.

But on to better things!

Remember wonderful brilliant Dan Goldman, who was the House Democrats’ lawyer for Donald Trump’s first impeachment, and who is now a member of Congress from New York? He took some time to explain chapter and verse how full of bullshit and false information that New York Post Hunter Biden story was in the first place, literally from its first paragraph. Man it pissed James Comer off.

Watch all these videos:

Part two. Keep watching, he is so fucking great. Goldman all but accuses Comer here of abusing his power as committee chair and wasting taxpayer money on a “fishing expedition into a civilian child of a president for political purposes.”

Part three:

Welcome to Congress, Rep. Goldman!

Monumentally stupid Louisiana Republican Rep. Clay “WHAR BOXES” Higgins is pretty sure all the Twitter employees who testified today are gonna get an ARRESTIN’:

And that seems like a good place to start wrapping it up.

Want to hear more about the “pussy ass bitch” thing, since that is the most important fact that will ever come out of Kevin McCarthy’s House of Representatives? Yeah you do.

Amazing amazing amazing. No notes. Every day is stupider than the last.

As of this writing, the hearing is ongoing. We are sure it will continue to be just as productive as the last several hours have been. If you want to see more clips, obviously Rupar and Acyn are live-tweeting.

But we are done.

OPEN THREAD.

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WATCH: Democrats Kick Living Sh*t Out Of Republicans Removing Ilhan Omar From Foreign Affairs Committee

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We discussed this week how Barely Speaker Kevin had managed to wrangle up the votes to subject Democratic Rep. Ilhan Omar to more racism and bullying, under the guise of expelling Omar from the House Foreign Affairs Committee because she is “antisemitic.” (Their proofs for this were, shall we say, limp and flaccid.) We highly doubt the votes materialized because of Kevin McCarthy’s negotiating prowess. Occam’s Razor would suggest that any holdout Republicans just remembered they hate minorities and were like JK fuck yeah we’ll do that.

McCarthy is doing this for retaliatory reasons, because he’s mad Democrats expelled his new BFF QAnon Marge Greene and white nationalist Paul Gosar from their committees. He’s doing it because he’s a fucking child, and this is his way of saying “neener.” He’s doing this because he’s a little tiny sad man and this makes him feel powerful.

Look at this fucking troll doll.

Oh! Kevin McCarthy is so offended that Ilhan Omar said “all about the Benjamins!” Obviously you see the Kevin McCarthy tweet Rupar found just below that, but if you can’t, it says “We cannot allow Soros, Steyer, and Bloomberg to BUY this election!” But it’s not antisemitic when McCarthy says it, because reasons.

The vote was today, and Omar was removed from that committee. But not before a bunch of Democrats had a chance to stand up and tell white supremacist Republicans to go eat bags of dicks in hell.

Rep. Eric Swalwell didn’t hold back. He noted how Republicans “root for rioters,” “show sympathy for the insurrection,” are a conference that “harbors a wanted international criminal,” and have “members who choose violence over voting every single day.” He said he figured when they said they were going to hold somebody accountable for antisemitism, it would be Jim Jordan, since he kept that “Kanye. Elon. Trump” tweet up on the House Judiciary Committee GOP account for two months after Kanye started levying Nazi attacks against Jewish people. (Jordan writes those tweets.)

“Look in your own damn mirror before you ever come over here!” he shouted.

Swalwell, of course, was just the other day a victim of McCarthy’s insolent little revenge campaign, when McCarthy removed him from the Intelligence Committee.

The other victim of that was Rep. Adam Schiff, who also had some things to say. He said if they want to punish somebody for inciting violence, introduce a resolution against Donald Trump. “Nobody has incited more violence against this chamber than Donald Trump.” And antisemitism? “Do not insult our intelligence,” he said.

Want to condemn someone? How about “someone dining with antisemites? Someone dining with white nationalists? Members of your conference who are speaking at white nationalist rallies.” He mentioned Trump again, and Marjorie Taylor Greene and Paul Gosar.

And on and on it went like that. People pointing out the hypocrisy, people pointing out the lies. Rep. Mark Pocan and others noted how Republicans seat on committees a person who believes “Jewish space lasers set forest fires in California.” Rep. Pramila Jayapal put a fine point on how Republicans are doing this because they have nothing of real value to offer the American people, just this “inane” shit.

Rep. Dean Phillips is Jewish. He said a lot, and you should watch it all, but he made an important point when he asked why 90 percent of the Jewish people in Congress are just fine with keeping Omar on her committees? Because isn’t this Kevin McCarthy supposedly protecting them from mean Ilhan Omar? Fucking please.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez? Whew. Back up and make some room for her, because she is ready to fuck you all up. “This is about targeting women of color in the United States!” And so much more.

Rep. Rashida Tlaib was furious to the point of tears, and we guess House Republicans didn’t want to hear it, so they gaveled her to shut her up and cut her mic:

And here is Rep. Omar herself, defending herself against the tsunami of white supremacy coming at her from the other side of the aisle. “Is anyone surprised that I am being targeted?” she asked. She took it all the way back to the Trump-led movement to label Barack Obama a Muslim. This is who these people are.

www.youtube.com

“My leadership and voice will not be diminished if I am not on this committee for one term. My voice will get louder and stronger and my leadership will be celebrated around the world as it has been! So take your votes or not, I am here to stay, and I am here to be a voice against harms around the world and advocate for a better world. I yield back.”

In other words, go fuck yourself, Kevin, and go fuck yourself, all the rest of you seditious white supremacist Republican snakes. The end.

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The Debt Ceiling, AGAIN? The Deuce You Say!

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Did you feel a little “thump” yesterday as the United States bumped up against its $31.4 trillion debt ceiling? If so, maybe you should have yourself tested for synesthesia, since the debt limit is not a physical thing. But we hit it all the same, as Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen explained in a letter to House Speaker Kevin McCarthy noting that starting Thursday, Treasury would be implementing “extraordinary measures” to keep the country from crashing right through the limit.

For starters, Yellen said, Treasury will have to suspend payments into the Civil Service retirement fund, and also payments to the Postal Service’s Retiree Health Benefits Fund, from now through June 5. So please, Kev, if you don’t mind, could you please give some thought to not fucking up the US and world economies by allowing the US to default on its debts, please? Jerk.

Fine, in reality Yellen wrote, “I respectfully urge Congress to act promptly to protect the full faith and credit of the United States, you slimy neutered fuckweasel.” We’re pretty sure we copied that much correctly.

So here we are at the debt ceiling, but we haven’t actually blown through it yet because money is entirely imaginary anyway but if you stretch its imaginary nature too much it will snap back and ruin you and everyone you know, but somehow never Kevin McCarthy or Donald Trump, how even IS that?

Here’s how the magic hocuspocus works: By one set of numbers, we’re at the debt ceiling, just floating up there like the weird bubbly uncle in Mary Poppins trying desperately to fart on Dick Van Dyke so they can both descend. Fortunately, as the AP explains, Yellen can get help from her League of Extraordinary Measures and hold off a real default on the debt for a few more months via “accounting tweaks” like holding off on new payments into retirement funds and the like. (As far as we know, it does not include measures like taking the nation’s inventory of nuclear missiles to Pawn-4-Cash for a temporary loan, either.)

DEBT CEILIN’ ON MY MIND: Government Shutdown Season Is Different From Debt Ceiling Season: A Handy Wonkette Guide

Normally, a word no one should be allowed to use anymore, Congress would just shrug its shoulders and pass a bill to increase or suspend the debt ceiling, as Congress did as needed from 1917 until 2011, since it’s an artificial limit to the amount the US can borrow to cover its debts, and authorizing it is just a thing Congress does, like naming post offices and making speeches about how terrible Congress is. We explain it in excruciating detail here.

The thing to keep in mind is that since the US is Big King Fuck of Global Economics Mountain, our debt is the most desired investment in the world, the place to keep your money safe because the US has never, not once, defaulted on its debt. If the US defaults, our bond ratings would tank, and the US would go into a recession, with the world being dragged along like that Buzz Gunderson kid in Rebel Without a Cause whose leather jacket got caught in the door handle of the car, only it’s everyone going off the cliff not just one teenager who barely showed up in the credits (it was Corey Allen, we’ll save you the time). Chickie Run, indeed.

You’d think nobody would want to risk that, but Republicans during the Obama administration decided it would be “fun” to withhold their votes for a debt ceiling increase unless Barack Obama agreed to a clusterfuck called “sequestration” that cut 2.5 percent of federal spending across the board during the last six months of each fiscal year. Those cuts substantially hurt the economy and slowed the recovery from the Great Recession, and probably helped elect Donald Trump as a result.

So you can see why Republicans think it’s a fun game. But Joe Biden has already refused to play it, saying he will not allow any of the cuts to Social Security and Medicare that Republicans want, to say nothing of racing for the title slip to his beloved ’67 Corvette.

When Democrats held the House in 2021, Biden also refused to stand for any Senate Republican shenanigans, and the debt ceiling got extended without any conditions, right up through yesterday, but actually sometime in May or June. But Republicans are super mad that Mitch McConnell didn’t crash the world economy even a little bit. Biden still insists on a “clean” debt limit increase, while Kevin McCarthy said that Congress needs to cut spending and live within its means exactly like it never did during the Trump administration.

And also on Wednesday, President Marjorie Taylor Greene announced that she “will not sign a clean bill raising the debt limit,” and everyone laughed at her because members of Congress vote on stuff, they don’t sign anything except for when they are Kevin McCarthy making a deal with Satan to become Speaker of the House. Silly Kevin — he didn’t even ask Satan to throw in some blues guitar lessons! Yeah, just as well.

Now, remember, the Debt Limit has to be increased to prevent an economic meltdown. It’s permission to borrow to keep servicing the debt the US already has, so if we blow through it, that doesn’t make the debt go away. And because it’s the debt on all government spending going back decades, that debt keeps growing even without new spending, because interest.

Also too, CNN is full of hacks now, framing Biden’s insistence on a clean debt ceiling bill as if Joe Biden were some sort of crazy hostage-taker, because look at how much that’s upsetting … Republicans who want to cut Social Security and Medicare. The headline is bad enough: “House GOP’s swing votes demand talks on debt ceiling and push back on White House’s hard-line stance”

Oh, that wild, inflexible Joe Biden! He won’t even negotiate (to cut Social Security). The lede paragraph is just as weird, resorting to some truly weird gymnastics to portray Biden as the extremist:

House Republicans from swing districts are flatly rejecting the White House’s position that there be no negotiations with Congress over raising the national debt ceiling, insisting that they won’t bend to the Democrats’ take-it-or-leave-it approach to avoid the first-ever debt default with no conditions attached.

Yeah, that Joe Biden, with his my way or the highway to … not defaulting on the debt. You maniac! You won’t blow it up! Ahh…damn you! God damn you all to Hell!

So is there a deal in the offing? Heck, June is like a million years from now. That cliff isn’t anywhere near us. Still plenty of time to fix this.

[AP / CNBC]

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