Turns Out ‘Hunter Biden’ Whistleblower Is Chinese Agent! And Arms Trader! Who Sold Iranian Oil! Oh Well!

Have we mentioned that House Intel Chair James Comer is full of shit? Like, more full of shit than a herd of constipated elephants? Oh, we say it a lot? Well, fair, because it’s totally true.

Okay, kids, get your Pepe Silvia stringboards out, because it’s time to play everyone’s favorite game, What The Fuck Are Republicans On About Now? Yeah, again. You know you love it!

Today’s topic: WHO OR WHAT IS GAL LUFT?

Okay, so you know how Comer and his band of dipshits have been hee-hawing for months about their top secret whistleblower? The one who can prove that Hunter Biden and Joe Biden took all the bribes from China? They couldn’t produce him because REASONS, and in May our pal Jamie took his big square head over to Fox to tell that big airhead Maria Bartiromo that his informant was lost.

“Well, unfortunately we can’t track down the informant. We are hopeful that the informant is still there. The whistleblower knows the informant, the whistleblower is very credible,” he told the credulous Fox host, who briefly demonstrated signs of mild skepticism, before reverting to form.

“Who in the White House is intimidating these people? Do you know?” she gasped.

I do know,” Comer assured her. “We’re saving that for a later time.”

Friends, that time is now. Because yesterday that “informant” outed himself, running to that bastion of good journalism, the New York Post, claiming to be on the run from the US government, bent on silencing him.


Gal Luft, a dual American-Israeli citizen, headed a “think tank” called the Institute for the Analysis of Global Security in DC. In the video, Luft alleges that in the course of doing very serious thought leader stuff with a Chinese energy conglomerate known as CEFC, he discovered that Hunter Biden was also doing stuff with the company, but of the bad LOCK HER UP variety. He says that he blew the whistle last year to the FBI, after which he was indicted, made bail in Cyprus, and then went on the lam for his own safety.

Naturally Jamie Comer and his chaperone, Jim Jordan, raced to Fox to rehabilitate their guy.

To which the DOJ said “Bet!” and immediately unsealed the indictment against Luft.

Now, before we get into this document, let’s point out perhaps the most salient thing from a political standpoint: It was returned on November 1, 2022, i.e. before there was a Republican Congress. So the idea that the feds arrested this guy to head him off from talking to Congress is reeedonkulous. That investigation was in the works for a good long while, and a gander at the charges lets you know exactly why.

Luft is alleged to have conspired to traffic weapons and Iranian oil, in addition to violating the Foreign Agents Registration Act (FARA). And while the weapons and oil may be more serious from a criminal perspective, Luft’s FARA scheme is most interesting politically.

Broadly speaking, Luft coordinated with Chinese agents to pay former CIA Director James Woolsey to author pro-China editorials in Chinese news outlets during the 2016 election and its aftermath. Woolsey was then an advisor to the Trump campaign, and when Trump won the election, Luft and his Chinese backers were ecstatic. Woolsey was also palling around with Mike Flynn at the time, and famously attended a meeting where Flynn pitched high-level Turkish government officials on a plan to black helicopter the Muslim cleric Fetullah Gülen (Turkish President Recep Erdogan’s archenemy) out of the US for the low-low price of $15 million. To his credit, Woolsey distanced himself from Flynn after that, but we can’t help but notice that Flynn also accepted money from a foreign government cutout to publish editorials under his own name advocating for warm relations between the US and another nation.

All the cool kids were doing it — at least the cool kids hanging around with Donald Trump.

Sorry for the extended flashback, but we can’t help but note that Trump, whose supporters have been screaming nonsense about Biden’s supposed ties to China, was being advised by a guy who was literally being paid by a Chinese agent to publish articles praising the CCP.

Here’s just a taste from the indictment (CC-1, or “co-conspirator 1,” is presumed to be Patrick Ho, who was sentenced in 2019 to three years in prison for bribing African officials in connection with his position at CEFC):

On or about November 12, 2016, CC-1 emailed GAL LUFT, the defendant, that “[e]ver since the publication of the articles of my ‘dialogue’ with [Woolsey] in Hong Kong and in the mainland, [he] is now a household name among the USA watchers in HK and in China. But I should think that he should hide for now, come to China on a silent trip first, then surface to speak out on Trump’s foreign policies just before his inauguration or thereafter. LUFT responded that “[w]e are debating about his role in the new admin. There are kinds of considerations … We should talk ftf as there can be a supremely unique opportunity for china.”

On or about November 13, 2016, GAL LUFT, the defendant, and CC-1 exchanged emails about the potential role of Individual-1 in the new presidential administration. LUFT reported that “[o]ur friend is now on the shortlist of the following: Sec Def[,] Sec homeland security[, and] Dir nat intel.” CC-1 replied that “[t]his side would like to see him assuming something with a ‘China’ profile. Of the three, S of D [i.e., Secretary of Defense] or DNI [i.e., Director of National Intelligence] would be good, esp the former.” LUFT wrote to CC-1 that “DNI is most likely,” and CC-1 responded later in the email chain that “may be you could reserve his ‘direct’ China link as the weapon of last resort.”

But instead of Woolsey becoming DNI, the job went to Mike Flynn — although Woolsey would presumably have been judicious enough to go away quietly and not come back four years later advocating for martial law and a coup.

Did your eyes glaze over when you read all that? Well, snap out of it, because that’s exactly what the Republicans were hoping would happen. Just check out Rep. Nancy Mace, the supposedly “moderate” one, shoveling horseshit into Maria’s ever open maw.

Luft didn’t get indicted because he tried to blow the whistle on Hunter Biden. He got indicted because he was wildly corrupt and because he made false statements about it to the FBI, including in March of 2019, during the very same interview in which Comer alleges that Luft blew the whistle on Hunter Biden.

And one more thing, since we’re all the way down this weird rabbit hole. From NBC, here’s what Hunter Biden’s lawyer Abbe Lowell has to say about a supposedly incriminating What’sApp message from Hunter Biden regarding his China deal that Luft gave to congressional Republicans:

Lowell writes that the screenshots of the message as tweeted by Smith, “both include a photo of Mr. Biden not from 2017 but from the White House Easter Egg roll in April 2022 (long after the purported message was sent); both images portray the message in a blue bubble, when WhatsApp messages are in green; one image super-imposed the Chinese flag for the contact ID, when surely that was not how a text or contact was kept; and one purports to be a screenshot with the ‘. . .’ of someone composing a text (as in Apple’s iMessage) when that does not happen on WhatsApp.”

He writes, “In short, the images you circulated online are complete fakes.”

In summary and in conclusion, COME THE FUCK ON.

Oh, and PS: You know that IRS whistleblower Comer and the chuckleheads are touting? He’s mad that the IRS didn’t chase this shit down harder.

OPEN THREAD.

[Bulwark / Insider / NBC / Indictment]

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Oh No, What Is Joe Biden Doing To James Comer’s Informants Who Are Definitely Real And Not Imaginary?

We have been having our little fun watching House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer flail around as he pretends he’s presenting hard evidence against the Bidens to the American people. He has nothing. It’s super-fuckin’ obvious. Fox News knows it. Quite frankly it kind of seems to be annoying them, because they were promised Biden investigations, and this dumb hick can’t manage to make up a damn thing. At least when they were hounding Hillary Clinton for years on end, they were able to scream “Benghazi!” and “Emails!” and they felt like they were saying something.

This is not that.

Comer went on Fox News with deflated Muppet costume Maria Bartiromo this weekend, and she wanted to ask hard journalism questions about “this coverup.” Her face was so serious, like she was a real reporter. But she accidentally got something hilarious out of Comer:


www.youtube.com

BARTIROMO: You have spoken with whistleblowers. You also spoke with an informant who gave you all of this information. Where is that informant today? Where are these whistleblowers?

COMER: Well, unfortunately we can’t track down the informant. We are hopeful that the informant is still there. The whistleblower knows the informant, the whistleblower is very credible.

Unfortunately, the informant has runnt away and Jamie Comer dunnot know whar he is. Heh heh heh. But don’t worry, Jamie Comer will find him wharever he’s hidin’. Maybe he is in the garage. Maybe he’s over yonder in the chicken coop.

Dangit, informant, whar yew at?

The informant is real, though. Jamie Comer seen him. Jamie Comer done come outside and the informant said, “Sir, I have a secret about Hunter Biden’s devil penis,” and Jamie Comer could tell they was real.

So, the very real informant and the very real whistleblower, these are two very real and separate people and not imaginary friends or Russian spies or imaginary Russian spies.

Except wait hold on a second:

BARTIROMO: Hold on a second, Congressman. Did you just say that the whistleblower or the informant is now missing?

COMER: Well, we’re hopeful that we can find the informant. Now remember, these informants are kind of in the spy business, so they don’t make a habit of being seen a lot or being high profile or anything like that.

“The spy business.”

Y’all, even Maria Bartiromo’s face was:

COMER: We have basic information with respect to what the informant has alleged, and it’s very serious! It alleges that Joe Biden when he was vice president was involved in a quid pro quo with a foreign country in exchange for foreign aid.

He pronounced it “quid pro crow.” Latin’s tough for guys like Jamie Comer.

Anyway, we hate it when the vice president of the United States withholds foreign aid. Definitely something the vice president does all the time. You know how they’re the ones who set policy and the foreign aid budget.

Also, it’s funny how those outlines are so similar to the criminal extortion Donald Trump was actually caught doing, trying to force Ukraine to help him steal the 2020 election.

It’s like Comer’s plan here is literally as half-witted as just accusing Biden of exactly what Trump did, but in the mostly brainlessly vague terms possible, and hoping the entire country is too stupid to notice that he’s trying to take all the proper nouns out of the Trump Mad Lib and replace them with Biden words.

BARTIROMO: Are there whistleblowers or informants missing right now?

COMER: [blah blah blah words that don’t mean things] Nine of the 10 people that we’ve identified that have very good knowledge with respect to the Bidens, they’re one of three things, Maria, they’re either currently in court, they’re currently in jail, or they’re currently missing.

Oh no, nine of the 10 people who know the things about the Bidens are one of three things, and one of those things is “in court.”

Okeydoke.

Comer bitched and moaned that the FBI won’t play along with his random accusations, and he babbled that “no president” has ever been accused of the things Biden has. (He hasn’t accused Biden of anything specific.)

And he baselessly said that the people who want to come forward and say things about the Bidens, “They fear for their LAAAAAAAAH-VES!” You betcha.

Bartiromo, if she was genuinely skeptical for even a moment when she was making that face above, went right back to being one of the dumbest, most gullible motherfuckers on Fox News. “This is absolutely extraordinary and it is stunning that some people are missing that you need to prove this!”

She continued:

BARTIROMO: Who in the White House is intimidating these people? Do you know?

COMER: I do know. We’re saving that for a later time.

Of course he is.

It’s funny because Trump and his administration were especially known for witness intimidation and tampering. The judge in the E. Jean Carroll case literally just advised the jurors not to make their identities known for a good long while, if ever.

Speaking to Bartiromo, Comer also accused the Democrats on his committee of acting as “defense attorneys for the Biden family.”

All of this is 100 percent the most laughable kind of projection. Jamie Comer might be stupid enough to think he’s being clever, and the 30 percent of Americans he’s playing to might be that stupid too.

That’s it, that’s the tweet.

Speaking of “that stupid,” here are two of the flying monkeys. Charlie Kirk is really leaning into the conspiracy theory and shitting his pants on command about nine whistleblowers being missing. Marjorie Taylor Greene may not have memorized her lines yet.

You’re all doing great and Jesus loves you.

The end.

UPDATE: Oh no, now she’s going to ask everybody where the informant is. Here she is this morning with GOP Rep. Tim Burchett. this is so GD sad.

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Even Fox News Seems Pretty Sure James Comer And Ron Johnson’s Biden Investigations F*ckin’ Dumb

Yesterday, House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer threw a press conference to announce that Joe Biden did a bunch of very bad things. Probably. Where? China maybe. And reporters were like “What bad things did Joe Biden do?” and Comer was like “the badnesses!” and reporters were like “yes but which ones?” and Comer was like “I can’t tell you! They’re too bad!”

So that went well.

And Republican media appearances ever since are going awesome. Comer went on “Fox & Friends” this morning and even Steve Doocy was making fun of his lame-ass nothingburger shit.


Doocy was like YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO SHOW THINGS. After reading off some of Comer’s so-called allegations, he said:

“Your party, the Republican investigators, say that that’s proof of influence-peddling by Hunter and James, but that’s just your suggestion! You don’t actually have any facts to that point. You’ve got some circumstantial evidence. And the other thing is, of all those names, the one person who didn’t profit, there’s no evidence that Joe Biden did anything illegally!”

Comer tried to respond: “Well if you look at the laptop and the emails …” but he was just a babbling hick as usual, saying nothing.

This is not the first time this has happened on “Fox & Friends,” or on Fox News in general.

James Comer Knows What Laws Hunter Biden’s Wangle Doodle Broke But SHHHH He Can’t Tell You Yet

James Comer NAILS! Biden For Maybe Knowing About Possible Schemes His Family Coulda Done With Perhaps China?

It’s not going better for Comer’s buddies.

Wisconsin Republican Senator Ron Johnson has been making a noble effort to steal the Senate’s Dumbest Republican crown back from Tommy Tuberville. Yesterday, he went on Fox Business and told empty Muppet costume Maria Bartiromo that they’re just going to have to take all the evidence they have of Joe Biden and his known associates and family members having bank accounts and sometimes making deposits and withdrawals, and they’re going to have to INFER what’s going on. That’s right, they’re going to do an impeachment based on INFERRED TREASON.

“People that commit criminal acts try not to leave a paper trail. So it’s very difficult to piece this all together, particularly when you have the leftists, the progressives and the mainstream media doing everything they can to undermine your investigation. On the bank records, you’re not going to see [a] bribe to change this policy. You have to infer what’s happening here. You have to take a look at the bulk of the evidence. You have to follow the money and realize: So what did this Biden family member do to earn that amount of money?”

LOL dang leftists and progressives and mainstream media colluding to undermine the investigation by … making fun of it? Pointing out that you actually can’t impeach based on the vibes you’re getting?

Yeah, we’re petty like that.

Today Johnson went on Fox Business again and talked to a different sentient windsock and it did not go better.

He is so mad, y’all. Where is the quid pro quo, the anchor asked? Well that’s hard to PROVE, said Johnson.

It helps when you have a transcript of the president extorting Ukraine to “do us a favor though” and help him steal an election in exchange for the defense assistance your nation desperately needs to protect itself from the rogue enemy nation next door that indeed ended up attacking it after all. Also when you have shitloads of people who are willing to testify in Congress about all the different aspects of the quid pro quo. And all these documents.

You know, what woke types call “evidence.”

Trump’s Ukraine ‘Transcript’ Is Real, And It Is BUGF*CK

Quid Pro Qu-OOOOLY SH*T! Let’s Read Some State Department Texts About Trump’s Ukraine Crimes!

As that clip above progresses, Johnson gets madder and madder, saying that he and Chuck Grassley “laid out the vast web of financial foreign entanglements of the Bidens in our September 2020 report. The complicit and corrupt media IGNORED IT! They covered up the HUNTER BIDEN LAPTOP!”

You have to watch the video for the prissy pause between “complicit and corrupt media” and “IGNORED IT.”

Also, is that the report where, while Johnson was doin’ his investigatin’, the FBI came to him like “DUDE, your sources are Russian spies, they are fucking with you, god you’re dumb, why are you so dumb?” Was this Johnson’s Biden Ukraine investigation that was always as stupid as he is?

And when he released that big September 2020 report, the worst allegation in it was that Hunter Biden being on the board of Burisma was — WE QUOTE — “awkward”?

Sirs and madams, we’d like to add a second count to the impeachment of Joe Biden. On top of all the vibes, he also did a AWKWARD.

Rudy And Ron Johnson Blew Off FBI Warnings About Russian Spies Because PFFFFFFFT DEEP STATE!

Senator Ron Johnson Determined To Make 2020 Election As Stupid As He Is

CIA Treating Senate’s Dumbest Republican Like Toxic Dump Human He Is

Ron Johnson, Walking Simpson’s ‘You Tried’ Gif, Releases Biden Ukraine Report

After that, Ron Johnson told today’s Fox Business idiot the same thing he told yesterday’s Fox Business idiot, about how we’re gonna have to “infer an awful lot.”

You’re all doing great, boys. Don’t change a thing.

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