We feel like it was just five seconds ago that we saw Republican House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer on the teevee babbling conspiracy theory shit about Hunter Biden and Ukraine and Joe Biden and prosecutors that was debunked YEARS AGO during Donald Trump’s first impeachment.
And boy, we thought, Comer must have NOTHING on the Bidens.
Fox News seemed exasperated the other day asking Comer if he had any actual dirt on the Bidens. Comer just begged for more time and babbled illiterate Kentucky livestock words about “doesn’t add up.”
Let’s read in the New York Times about how Comer has standards for the information he guzzles down, and how difficult it is for him to keep folks from bringing him silly QAnon arglebargle, which is different from the very serious science investigations he is doing into Hunter Biden’s Ukrainian penis. Because he thinks that stuff is pretty important, mmkay?
Steering his S.U.V. through pounding rain on his way to the state capital on a recent Thursday, Representative James R. Comer, the chairman of the Oversight and Accountability Committee, reflected on the pressure he often faced from constituents to investigate unhinged claims about President Biden and Democrats.
“You know, the customer’s always right,” Mr. Comer said wryly, of his approach to the people who elected him and now brandish conspiracy theories, vulgar photographs featuring the president and his son, Hunter, and other lies they expect him to act upon.
“I say, ‘Let me see it,’ because I want to see where the source is,” Mr. Comer said. “They don’t know that it’s QAnon, but it’s QAnon stuff.”
James Comer is very discerning when it comes to picking out the highest quality information about Hunter Biden’s Ukrainian business and/or laptop and/or ding-a-ling. He knows some of the the stuff QAnon says about Hunter Biden is HORNSWOGGLE.
James Comer knows the difference.
Of course, the Times does note that Comer “has himself become a promoter of sinister-sounding allegations against Mr. Biden and his family.” That’s one way to say “peddles absolute bullshit.” And is just a partisan hack and a clown in general. And is a sick fuck who wishes Joe Biden’s dead son Beau Biden had been investigated more.
But he’s not an idiot like some of these people.
Totally unrelated, we are sure, but the Times notes that Comer’s Oversight Committee has people like Marjorie Taylor Greene on it, and he asks how much he can really control members like that. “It’s hard for a coach to tell LeBron James what he’s doing wrong,” says Comer, who apparently thinks Greene has things in common with LeBron James.
But this is an entire NYT profile of a man it says “presents himself as an affable country boy of limited abilities,” so let’s see what other gross nuggets about Comer we can pull out of the dungheap.
Investigate Trump? How’s he gonna find Hunter Biden’s tallywhacker in there?
Just recently it was reported that the House Oversight Committee had kinda quietly stopped investigating Donald Trump’s finances. “What exactly are they looking for?” Comer asked the New York Times. “They’ve been ‘investigating’ Trump for six years. I know exactly what I’m investigating: money the Bidens received from China.”
Or as we like to call it, Hunter Biden’s CERTIFIED ANGUS WANGUS!
And of course, Comer has also quit investigating Jared Kushner’s TWO BILLION BUCKAROOS from the Saudis. Nothing to see there, probably. And how brazen he really is about why:
While he did not rule out looking at Mr. Kushner’s business dealings at some point, when a reporter suggested it might be politically unsustainable for him to investigate Mr. Trump’s son-in-law, he took a long pause, then replied: “I don’t disagree with what you said.”
He reckons that what that reporter had said is the truth. There will be no investigatin’ of Jared Kushner. Not on Sheriff Jamie Comer’s watch, pew pew pew. (They call that idiot Jamie back in Kentucky, and we think we ought to do the same.)
DOMESTIC ABUSE ALLEGATIONS, ABORTIONS, EMAILS, OH MY!
The Times profile tells us some things we feel should be more front of mind whenever we bring up Mr. Comer. Some of it we already knew, but deserves more attention. Some of it is BRAND new. Like how in 2015, Comer, who has a long history in Kentucky politics, was running in the Republican primary for governor, and a blogger started reporting allegations that when Comer was in college, he had abused his girlfriend.
So here’s what Comer did:
His campaign turned over documents to a local prosecutor to help in an investigation of the blogger. (The prosecutor dropped the investigation after the election.)
The month before the primary, a story appeared in The Lexington Herald-Leader in which leaked emails suggested coordination between the blogger and the husband of the running mate of one of Mr. Comer’s opponents in the race, the Louisville developer Hal Heiner.
The rumor whispered around Kentucky political circles at the time was that Mr. Comer had swiped the emails from the computer server for the husband’s former law firm and leaked them to the newspaper. In an interview with The Times, Mr. Comer confirmed, for the first time, that he had been behind the leak and strongly hinted he had gotten them from the server.
“I’ve had two servers in my lifetime,” Mr. Comer said when asked about the emails. “Hunter Biden’s is one, and you can — I’m not going to say who the other one was, but you can use your imagination.”
Wait, so he had stolen emails that he used to discredit the people reporting on allegations from a former girlfriend that he had abused her. And now he is admitting that aw shucks, yes, he was the one who leaked those stolen emails.
His decision to leak the emails backfired. The former college girlfriend, Marilyn Thomas, was angry about being called a liar and sent a four-page letter to a reporter at The Louisville Courier-Journal who published a devastating story just weeks before Primary Day.
In the letter, which The Times obtained and authenticated, Ms. Thomas accused Mr. Comer of having hit her and said he had taken her to a clinic for an abortion, an account that was supported by her roommate at the time. The article reported Ms. Thomas’s claim that she had a document in a lock box in a Kentucky bank proving Mr. Comer had accompanied her for the abortion, but the document has never been made public.
Dang he sounds like a charmer a hypocrite, a shitweasel, and a criminal. According to reporting in 2015, he was furious when he found out he’d have to use his real name at the abortion clinic in Louisville when filling out the form attesting he would drive Thomas home.
He still denies all this, of course. Sounds to us like there ought to be an ethics investigation at the very least. Or maybe he should just resign.
There’s more in the Times profile, should you want to read it.
We think we’ll just sit here and reflect on what we’ve learned about the credibility of one Mr. Jamie Comer, the self-appointed Inspector Gadget of Hunter Biden’s Penis.
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