Republican Losers Club Update

The first Republican presidential debates are still a long way to come, but already we have seen those delusional enough to try to run for the 2024 nomination make fools of themselves. Two weeks ago, we saw Nikki Haley face-planting while defending her candidacy on Fox News. Last week, we saw Sen. Tim Scott repeat the same mistake as Haley while Republican National Committee Chair Ronna Romney McDaniel offered up loyalty oaths and failed to condemn coups.

So let’s check up on two more 2024 Republican presidential contenders and see how their early attempts are faring.

Chris Sununu: The Susan Collins Of Mitt Romneys

“Meet The Press” with Chuck Todd hosted New Hampshire Gov. Chris Sununu because he’s considering running for the Republican nomination and the media will give anyone time who says so — especially those who have made their public image being a “good” or “sane” Republican. But this interview did a lot to both prove what a fraud Sununu is and how subservient a lemming he will ultimately be.


Sununu discussed his hopefulness for the future and the next generation of Republicans made up of optimistic, inspirational conservatives. Todd pointed out Sununu had spoken to the Club For Growth, which Todd pointed out supported Donald Trump and all his unhinged MAGA-endorsed candidates in the midterms instead of those that Sununu claims he wants.

Sununu tried again to explain how his supposed “change in approach’ is what the Republican Party really wants, but then Todd pointed out reality and how his sugarplum wishes for different primary voters won’t materialize.

TODD: I understand what you’re trying to do. At the same time you heard the former president at CPAC, and he certainly has as stranglehold on 25 to 35 percent of the party, we can have a debate about the specific number, and you know what those folks want. They want to make liberals cry, right? Like, that’s the message they want. They want that more than they want a big tent. So how do you appeal to those voters?

Sununu kept insisting that Republican primary voters want “leadership that is results-driven, that gets stuff done” and “if there’s that part of the party that wants to, as you said, ‘make liberals cry,’ or whatever it might be, you do it by winning, and you do it by getting stuff done, passing it through Congress, working on both sides.” The problem is that the old days of acting normal to get elected but then passing draconian laws won’t get you elected. You don’t win a primary unless you vow to make “the libs cry,” which then makes it infinitely harder to win the general election when suddenly those liberal and independent voters can tell you to kick rocks.

Sununu was also asked about the RNC’s required loyalty pledge to participate in RNC-sanctioned debates. Did Sununu, like Asa Hutchinson, say how bad the oath is if it supports insurrectionists?

Nope! Sununu will support anyone with an ‘R’ by their name, even if they tried to overthrow the government or actively represent the very things Sununu claims to oppose. Need further proof? Let’s see who Sununu could see winning the Republican nomination today.

SUNUNU: […]Right now if the election were today, Ron DeSantis would win in New Hampshire, there’s no doubt about that in my mind. I think Ron DeSantis would win in Florida. […]

Sununu didn’t say this in disgust or fear but to point out how the “new generation” of DeSantis would defeat Trump, even though ideologically DeSantis is the same as Trump. Sununu is basically selling “New Coke” to replace “Old Coke,” and that is not going to age well.

About as badly as the first time. For the product and the pitch person.youtu.be

Sununu was also asked about the Fox News/Dominion case revelations and he tried to “both sides” the issue, which Chuck Todd disputed (either out of journalism or fear of losing his “both sides” crown).

TODD: Yeah. Intentionally lying to viewers, though, that to me seemed to cross a line.

SUNUNU: Well, look –

TODD: You can make a mistake, but that wasn’t a mistake.

Sununu tried to bring up Hunter Biden’s laptop (which mainstream media never repressed but wanted vetted before reporting on it) and the possibility of COVID-19’s origin in a lab (which was reported based on the credible available evidence at the time). This proves the Wonkette theory of No-Good Republicans still holds strong — that and the Republican obsession with NSFW pics of Hunter Biden.

Pompeo Continued Delusional Tour Continues

Mike Pompeo, like the weasel he is, has been trying to distance himself from Trump and his administration despite leaning heavily on his past experience in said administration to justify his presidential run. Pompeo has hit Trump on the deficit and made a direct jab at CPAC on March 3. On “Fox News Sunday,” Pompeo was more subtle about it. He didn’t mention Trump by name but made the same case.

These are pretty strong words coming from a guy who helped add to that debt while serving as CIA director and secretary of State for the Trump administration. Pompeo was asked by Shannon Bream about his critiques of Trump and again Pompeo made vague allusions to him while avoiding his name.

Pompeo added:

[…] the moment for celebrity, the moment for stars is not with us. It’s the moment for America to go back to it’s conservative founding and it’s conservative ideas. And I am very confident […] we are headed that direction.

Three things:

  1. The Republican Party that has elevated Ronald Reagan, Trump, Fred Thompson, Clint Eastwood, Sonny Bono and Arnold Schwarzenegger have always been “star fuckers.” It’s why they bow for any conservative celebrity when they reveal themselves.
  2. The thing those celebrities have is some type of charisma or charm, which is why they are elected.
  3. Pompeo will never be president.

Have a week.

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Sunday Shows: Post-State Of The Union Rundown

We’ve had a lot of fun since liveblogging President Joe Biden’s State of the Union address. We’ve mocked the official unhinged Republican response,the public ritualistic humiliation of Rick Scott and Mike Lee, as well as the crazy lengths that Tucker Carlson has gone to save the GOP’s face.

The Republicans who appeared on the Sunday shows continued flailing and set themselves up for more mockery. Let’s watch!

Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t

On CNN’s “State Of The Union” with Jake Tapper, Chairman of the Intelligence Committee Rep. Mike Turner of Ohio was all to eager to prove us correct when we pointed out Republicans’ bad-faith criticism of the “Chinese Balloon Crisis” last week.

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When Tapper asked about the two flying objects shot down this week over Canada and Alaska, Turner made it clear Republicans have no issue with political inconsistency.

TURNER: Yes, well, I certainly don’t know, as the administration is saying they don’t know. They do appear somewhat trigger-happy, although this is certainly preferable to the permissive environment that they showed when the Chinese spy balloon was coming over some of our most sensitive sites.

“Trigger-happy”?! After all their whining and posturing about shooting at the sky, they have the gall to now act like the Biden Administration is paranoid or “trigger-happy”? Turner, when asked about the discovery of further classified documents on a laptop and thumb drive belonging to a Trump aide, topped his hypocrisy with an extra helping of good ole’ whataboutism.

TURNER: […] They are not to be taken lightly. And we’re just amazed as people keep finding them stuffed in the strangest places like behind Biden’s Corvette. This is —this is clearly a failure of an understanding of how to handle the importance of these documents.

This lack of unseriousness and blatant partisanship is what we have to expect for the next two years.

We Aren’t Cutting Social Security, Just Taking It To A Nice Farm Upstate

Rep. Turner was followed on “State Of The Union” by Sen. Mike Rounds of South Dakota, who wanted to make sure that Biden was wrong about Republicans’ intentions regarding Social Security.

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ROUNDS: […] I think that’s misleading in terms of what he really intended to do. But, look, the bottom line is, is, Republicans want to see Social Security be successful and be improved. […]

Well, you know what, maybe Biden was wrong and Republicans’ intentions are noble, regardless of Rick Scott or Mike Lee. So, what is the senator’s great plan to improve Social Security and make it more successful?

ROUNDS: […] I kind of look at security the way I would at the Department of Defense and our defense spending. We’re never going to not fund defense. But, at the same time, we — every single year, we look at how we can make it better. […]

So Republicans want to fund Social Security on a year-by-year basis?! I’m sure a lot of the seniors reliant on those benefits will be happy to know they’d be dependent on the Republican Party’s political games and whims every year.

I guess a cut by any other name would still make Scott’s shriveled heart flutter.

Influence Peddling Is Bad … Unless It’s Jared Kushner

Over on ABC’s “This Week” with George Stephanopoulos, Chairman of the Oversight Committee Rep. James Comer assured everyone that his committee will take the buying of influence very seriously.

COMER: Now I don’t disagree with the Democrats and their criticism of the previous administration. We have a problem here that needs a legislative solution. That’s why this Biden investigation is so important. There’s a legislative solution to this, and it can be bipartisan. The Democrats complained about Kushner’s foreign dealings. Republicans are certainly complaining about the entire Biden family’s foreign business dealings.

But when Stephanopoulos pushed Comer on why it seems that they’re taking no actions on Kushner or the Trumps (other than lip service), Comer made it clear that his committee is just weaponizing the government for partisanship. Again.

COMER: […] The difference between Jared Kushner and Hunter Biden is that Jared Kushner actually sat down [and] was interviewed. He was interviewed by investigators. So he’s already been investigated. […]

Thankfully, Stephanopoulos did a final fact-check before Comer slimed out the door.

STEPHANOPOULOS: […] I think we only learned of the $2 billion Saudi investment from the Washington Post this morning, at least the details of it.

Unless James Comer’s committee is full of Minority Report pre-crime investigators, it is pretty clear that the congressman’s full of shit.

The Real Meaning of “Woke”

We end with New Hampshire Gov. Chris Sununu on CBS’s “Face The Nation” with Margaret Brennan.

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When asked about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis’s ongoing culture war against Disney, Sununu tried to describe his opposition to “woke cancel culture.” Brennan asked for a simple explanation of whatever Sununu meant by “woke,” and he quickly descended into gobbledygook.

SUNUNU: It’s the … it’s the divisiveness … divisiveness […] Where it is me versus you. Whereas if you are not adhering to my ideals, then I’m going to cancel you out. It is us versus them. It is this binary, where everything’s a war. […]

Oh! Guess by that logic we can start counting Marjorie Taylor Greene, Tucker Carlson, January 6th insurrectionists, and Ron DeSantis as “woke.”

However, Sununu successfully demonstrated that “woke” and “cancel culture” are right-wing dog whistles that, like “critical race theory,” they can’t coherently describe. Despite his efforts at distancing himself from other Republicans, he also proved our theory that “good Republicans” are not a thing. It is the media’s attempt at “fetch.”

Have a week.

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