Tag: chris sununu

Three Republicans To Announce Intention To Get Beaten Like Max Schmeling In GOP Primary

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Here is a quick Republican presidential primary poll for you. Does three separate candidates floating imminent campaign announcements in 24 hours indicate:

  • a) A real fear among Republicans that Donald Trump, despite his commanding lead in polls, is a weak candidate, and the so-far-number-two guy, old Ron “Pudding Three Fingers” DeSantis, is flaming out harder than the Cocoanut Grove, thereby turning the nomination contest into a wide-open race?
  • b) A cheap money grab by masochists with a desire for public humiliation on the way to pulling less than two percent in Iowa and dropping out faster than you can say “Buddy Roemer”?
  • c) A push for publicity to boost their chances of appearing on the next season of “The Masked Singer”?

Dunno! But three floats equals a trend, so let’s catch up.

First up is Chris Sununu, governor of the state of New Hampshire. Sununu told Puck’s Tara Palmieri in an interview on Thursday that there is a “61 percent chance” he runs for president. Which is an oddly specific number. Why not 62 percent? Or 58 percent? Does that number increase if he ever gets above his current average of between zero and two percent in early polls?

Sununu’s strategy so far has been to go at Donald Trump head-on. He appeared on CNN after Trump’s town hall last week to taunt the former president that he is a weak, whiny baby who is scared to get on a debate stage with other candidates. This is a bit like an ant taunting an elephant for not wanting to fight in a UFC bout: It sounds good to the ant for precisely as long as it takes the elephant to stomp on it.

At best, Sununu is boosting his visibility before 2028, when Trump will either be termed out, in prison, or anointed Supreme Leader in a post-United States dystopia of competing militaristic fiefdoms on the North American continent. At worst, he’s aiming for a Cabinet post. And who can blame him for wanting to move to Washington DC? The only thing we like about New Hampshire in winter is not being there.

Next we have Tim Scott, whose hilarious effort to join Nikki Haley in the “If Republicans are such racists and misogynists, then how are we both being allowed on the debate stage without being pelted with slurs and half-empty tins of Red Man” lane of the primary we have been documenting for several months now. Apparently after long months of dating, Scott is ready to put a ring on it. Which led to this lede from The New York Times:

Senator Tim Scott of South Carolina will announce his candidacy for president on Monday and will enter the race with around $22 million cash on hand, making him one of the most serious competitors for the front-runner, Donald J. Trump, even as Mr. Scott has hovered around 2 percent in Republican primary polls.

Don’t forget the lukewarm “sure, I’d consider backing him, maybe, depending on things and stuff” endorsements from his fellow senators!

The media would love a close horserace to write about for the next year. But what it does not seem to have factored in – or at least the Times hasn’t – is Scott’s cheerfulness and a personality that’s about as fiery as a bowl of cold wheat germ. What evidence does anyone have that the Republican electorate, with its large number of white nationalists and equality-loathing used-car dealers and dentists, an electorate that has for several campaign cycles boosted some of the sourest, meanest people to ever stalk an American campaign stage, will come around on a Black man with a sunny disposition and all the charisma of a flounder?

None. The media has none. But what’s it supposed to write about, for God’s sake? Issues that affect voters?

Last but certainly not least, we have the return of Chris Christie. On Thursday a reporter in New Hampshire claimed that sources are telling him the former New Jersey governor will announce a presidential campaign run soon, that he will focus on New Hampshire (presumably hoping to better his sixth-place finish in 2016, after which he quickly dropped out of the race), and that he’ll have the financial backing of billionaire Steve Cohen, the owner of the perennially underachieving New York Mets.

To give you a sense of Cohen’s instincts for picking winners, well, he bought the Mets, didn’t he? But also this season he is spending a combined $86.6 million on two pitchers aged 38 and 40 who have combined to pitch a whopping 44 innings, and his team is carrying a payroll of roughly $346 million (nearly $80 million more than the next-highest team payroll) with the result that it is sitting at one game below .500 with a quarter of the season gone.

Cohen also backed Christie’s 2016 campaign by donating millions to super-PACs supporting the governor who, again, finished sixth in New Hampshire and immediately dropped out of the race.

He might be a gazillionaire but Cohen’s instincts on which horse to back for how much money in both politics and baseball could use some massive re-calibrating, is our point.

The other name apparently all in on Christie? According to the New York Post it is Anthony Scaramucci, record holder for shortest stint in the Trump administration, which was famous for the shortness of its stints. Anyone want to take bets on how many Scaramuccis will elapse between Christie’s campaign kick-off and Christie’s ignominious withdrawal announcement?

Maybe Christie thinks he can damage Trump early in the nominating process? If so, a doomed campaign is probably not the best use of time and money for that, but it’s not our time or money.

It seems to us, at least in the case of Sununu and Christie, that they are banking on the GOP imploding over Donald Trump eventually, and they will be there to pick up the pieces and lead a new Republican Party back to glory. Sure, why not? People have been predicting Trump will destroy the party since 2016. Eventually, maybe it will happen and those people will claim to be the most prescient soothsayers of American politics.

Yr Wonkette continues to think that the sun will go supernova and consume the Earth before collapsing into a cold white dwarf long before Trump can lead the GOP to a similar end. We’ll be happy if one of these three yahoos proves us wrong, though.

[Puck / NYT / NY Post]

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Republican Losers Club Update

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The first Republican presidential debates are still a long way to come, but already we have seen those delusional enough to try to run for the 2024 nomination make fools of themselves. Two weeks ago, we saw Nikki Haley face-planting while defending her candidacy on Fox News. Last week, we saw Sen. Tim Scott repeat the same mistake as Haley while Republican National Committee Chair Ronna Romney McDaniel offered up loyalty oaths and failed to condemn coups.

So let’s check up on two more 2024 Republican presidential contenders and see how their early attempts are faring.

Chris Sununu: The Susan Collins Of Mitt Romneys

“Meet The Press” with Chuck Todd hosted New Hampshire Gov. Chris Sununu because he’s considering running for the Republican nomination and the media will give anyone time who says so — especially those who have made their public image being a “good” or “sane” Republican. But this interview did a lot to both prove what a fraud Sununu is and how subservient a lemming he will ultimately be.

Sununu discussed his hopefulness for the future and the next generation of Republicans made up of optimistic, inspirational conservatives. Todd pointed out Sununu had spoken to the Club For Growth, which Todd pointed out supported Donald Trump and all his unhinged MAGA-endorsed candidates in the midterms instead of those that Sununu claims he wants.

Sununu tried again to explain how his supposed “change in approach’ is what the Republican Party really wants, but then Todd pointed out reality and how his sugarplum wishes for different primary voters won’t materialize.

TODD: I understand what you’re trying to do. At the same time you heard the former president at CPAC, and he certainly has as stranglehold on 25 to 35 percent of the party, we can have a debate about the specific number, and you know what those folks want. They want to make liberals cry, right? Like, that’s the message they want. They want that more than they want a big tent. So how do you appeal to those voters?

Sununu kept insisting that Republican primary voters want “leadership that is results-driven, that gets stuff done” and “if there’s that part of the party that wants to, as you said, ‘make liberals cry,’ or whatever it might be, you do it by winning, and you do it by getting stuff done, passing it through Congress, working on both sides.” The problem is that the old days of acting normal to get elected but then passing draconian laws won’t get you elected. You don’t win a primary unless you vow to make “the libs cry,” which then makes it infinitely harder to win the general election when suddenly those liberal and independent voters can tell you to kick rocks.

Sununu was also asked about the RNC’s required loyalty pledge to participate in RNC-sanctioned debates. Did Sununu, like Asa Hutchinson, say how bad the oath is if it supports insurrectionists?

Nope! Sununu will support anyone with an ‘R’ by their name, even if they tried to overthrow the government or actively represent the very things Sununu claims to oppose. Need further proof? Let’s see who Sununu could see winning the Republican nomination today.

SUNUNU: […]Right now if the election were today, Ron DeSantis would win in New Hampshire, there’s no doubt about that in my mind. I think Ron DeSantis would win in Florida. […]

Sununu didn’t say this in disgust or fear but to point out how the “new generation” of DeSantis would defeat Trump, even though ideologically DeSantis is the same as Trump. Sununu is basically selling “New Coke” to replace “Old Coke,” and that is not going to age well.

About as badly as the first time. For the product and the pitch person.youtu.be

Sununu was also asked about the Fox News/Dominion case revelations and he tried to “both sides” the issue, which Chuck Todd disputed (either out of journalism or fear of losing his “both sides” crown).

TODD: Yeah. Intentionally lying to viewers, though, that to me seemed to cross a line.

SUNUNU: Well, look –

TODD: You can make a mistake, but that wasn’t a mistake.

Sununu tried to bring up Hunter Biden’s laptop (which mainstream media never repressed but wanted vetted before reporting on it) and the possibility of COVID-19’s origin in a lab (which was reported based on the credible available evidence at the time). This proves the Wonkette theory of No-Good Republicans still holds strong — that and the Republican obsession with NSFW pics of Hunter Biden.

Pompeo Continued Delusional Tour Continues

Mike Pompeo, like the weasel he is, has been trying to distance himself from Trump and his administration despite leaning heavily on his past experience in said administration to justify his presidential run. Pompeo has hit Trump on the deficit and made a direct jab at CPAC on March 3. On “Fox News Sunday,” Pompeo was more subtle about it. He didn’t mention Trump by name but made the same case.

These are pretty strong words coming from a guy who helped add to that debt while serving as CIA director and secretary of State for the Trump administration. Pompeo was asked by Shannon Bream about his critiques of Trump and again Pompeo made vague allusions to him while avoiding his name.

Pompeo added:

[…] the moment for celebrity, the moment for stars is not with us. It’s the moment for America to go back to it’s conservative founding and it’s conservative ideas. And I am very confident […] we are headed that direction.

Three things:

  1. The Republican Party that has elevated Ronald Reagan, Trump, Fred Thompson, Clint Eastwood, Sonny Bono and Arnold Schwarzenegger have always been “star fuckers.” It’s why they bow for any conservative celebrity when they reveal themselves.
  2. The thing those celebrities have is some type of charisma or charm, which is why they are elected.
  3. Pompeo will never be president.

Have a week.

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Sunday Shows: Post-State Of The Union Rundown

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We’ve had a lot of fun since liveblogging President Joe Biden’s State of the Union address. We’ve mocked the official unhinged Republican response,the public ritualistic humiliation of Rick Scott and Mike Lee, as well as the crazy lengths that Tucker Carlson has gone to save the GOP’s face.

The Republicans who appeared on the Sunday shows continued flailing and set themselves up for more mockery. Let’s watch!

Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t

On CNN’s “State Of The Union” with Jake Tapper, Chairman of the Intelligence Committee Rep. Mike Turner of Ohio was all to eager to prove us correct when we pointed out Republicans’ bad-faith criticism of the “Chinese Balloon Crisis” last week.

youtu.be

When Tapper asked about the two flying objects shot down this week over Canada and Alaska, Turner made it clear Republicans have no issue with political inconsistency.

TURNER: Yes, well, I certainly don’t know, as the administration is saying they don’t know. They do appear somewhat trigger-happy, although this is certainly preferable to the permissive environment that they showed when the Chinese spy balloon was coming over some of our most sensitive sites.

“Trigger-happy”?! After all their whining and posturing about shooting at the sky, they have the gall to now act like the Biden Administration is paranoid or “trigger-happy”? Turner, when asked about the discovery of further classified documents on a laptop and thumb drive belonging to a Trump aide, topped his hypocrisy with an extra helping of good ole’ whataboutism.

TURNER: […] They are not to be taken lightly. And we’re just amazed as people keep finding them stuffed in the strangest places like behind Biden’s Corvette. This is —this is clearly a failure of an understanding of how to handle the importance of these documents.

This lack of unseriousness and blatant partisanship is what we have to expect for the next two years.

We Aren’t Cutting Social Security, Just Taking It To A Nice Farm Upstate

Rep. Turner was followed on “State Of The Union” by Sen. Mike Rounds of South Dakota, who wanted to make sure that Biden was wrong about Republicans’ intentions regarding Social Security.

youtu.be

ROUNDS: […] I think that’s misleading in terms of what he really intended to do. But, look, the bottom line is, is, Republicans want to see Social Security be successful and be improved. […]

Well, you know what, maybe Biden was wrong and Republicans’ intentions are noble, regardless of Rick Scott or Mike Lee. So, what is the senator’s great plan to improve Social Security and make it more successful?

ROUNDS: […] I kind of look at security the way I would at the Department of Defense and our defense spending. We’re never going to not fund defense. But, at the same time, we — every single year, we look at how we can make it better. […]

So Republicans want to fund Social Security on a year-by-year basis?! I’m sure a lot of the seniors reliant on those benefits will be happy to know they’d be dependent on the Republican Party’s political games and whims every year.

I guess a cut by any other name would still make Scott’s shriveled heart flutter.

Influence Peddling Is Bad … Unless It’s Jared Kushner

Over on ABC’s “This Week” with George Stephanopoulos, Chairman of the Oversight Committee Rep. James Comer assured everyone that his committee will take the buying of influence very seriously.

COMER: Now I don’t disagree with the Democrats and their criticism of the previous administration. We have a problem here that needs a legislative solution. That’s why this Biden investigation is so important. There’s a legislative solution to this, and it can be bipartisan. The Democrats complained about Kushner’s foreign dealings. Republicans are certainly complaining about the entire Biden family’s foreign business dealings.

But when Stephanopoulos pushed Comer on why it seems that they’re taking no actions on Kushner or the Trumps (other than lip service), Comer made it clear that his committee is just weaponizing the government for partisanship. Again.

COMER: […] The difference between Jared Kushner and Hunter Biden is that Jared Kushner actually sat down [and] was interviewed. He was interviewed by investigators. So he’s already been investigated. […]

Thankfully, Stephanopoulos did a final fact-check before Comer slimed out the door.

STEPHANOPOULOS: […] I think we only learned of the $2 billion Saudi investment from the Washington Post this morning, at least the details of it.

Unless James Comer’s committee is full of Minority Report pre-crime investigators, it is pretty clear that the congressman’s full of shit.

The Real Meaning of “Woke”

We end with New Hampshire Gov. Chris Sununu on CBS’s “Face The Nation” with Margaret Brennan.

youtu.be

When asked about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis’s ongoing culture war against Disney, Sununu tried to describe his opposition to “woke cancel culture.” Brennan asked for a simple explanation of whatever Sununu meant by “woke,” and he quickly descended into gobbledygook.

SUNUNU: It’s the … it’s the divisiveness … divisiveness […] Where it is me versus you. Whereas if you are not adhering to my ideals, then I’m going to cancel you out. It is us versus them. It is this binary, where everything’s a war. […]

Oh! Guess by that logic we can start counting Marjorie Taylor Greene, Tucker Carlson, January 6th insurrectionists, and Ron DeSantis as “woke.”

However, Sununu successfully demonstrated that “woke” and “cancel culture” are right-wing dog whistles that, like “critical race theory,” they can’t coherently describe. Despite his efforts at distancing himself from other Republicans, he also proved our theory that “good Republicans” are not a thing. It is the media’s attempt at “fetch.”

Have a week.

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