Tag: fox news

Manly man Bill Kristol thinks it’s ‘kind of Beta’ for Ron DeSantis to announce on Twitter

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According to Wikipedia, Bill Kristol has both an undergraduate degree and a doctorate from Harvard University. But are we entirely sure that Bill didn’t actually graduate from Klown Kollege? Because every time he says something, we feel like we’re being clowned.

Over the past several years, Bill’s undergone a transition of sorts, going from pretty reliably conservative advocate to Trump-skeptical/anti-Trump Republican to Resistance Republican to Resistance Democrat and finally reaching his final, true form of liberal Democrat — and full-blown Trump supporter. It’s been pretty wild to watch it play out in real time, and, while he has been completely annoying throughout, we can’t help but also be entertained by the utter shamelessness of his hackery and his gift for the grift. Once he started making his entire existence about Donald Trump, we knew it would only be a matter of time until he reached the point at which he’d start getting reckless and let his mask slip. He needs Donald Trump and will stop at nothing to keep Trump front and center at all times.

And if he hadn’t already reached that point, he definitely has today. Check this out:

We legit have lost count of the number of times Bill Kristol and The Bulwark have taken swipes at Donald Trump’s masculinity and manhood. That is, when it was politically and professionally and financially advantageous for them to do so. But now, with Ron DeSantis reportedly poised to announce his candidacy for the presidency tonight, all of a sudden, it’s DeSantis’ masculinity and manhood that are in question, while Donald Trump has been promoted by Bill to “alpha” status.

It’s certainly not a take you’re going to get from the average conservative. But it’s for sure right up modern-day Bill Kristol’s alley!

Fascinating … and funny as hell. This was always where Bill Kristol was going to wind up. The only question was exactly how long it would take him to get there.

The answer was: not very long at all.

Yep. Donald Trump is going to Donald Trump no matter what, but Ron DeSantis threatens to relegate Trump to the fringes of politics. And if Trump is on the fringes of politics, that puts a huge dent in the Resistance’s incoming cash flow and bookings on CNN and MSNBC.

Just like there’s now zero daylight between Trump and the most ridiculous partisans from the Left. Donald Trump is attacking DeSantis from the Left, just like Bill Kristol. Those two are cut from the same cloth.

Might as well. We know you want to, Bill. So very badly.

He really is. ‘Twas his destiny.

Not only is this sad for Bill, but it’s also officially crossed into creepy-AF territory. Why is Bill Kristol fantasizing about Donald Trump being an alpha male? This is so weird and yes it’s hilarious but also, like, why do we now have to know that Bill thinks about stuff like this?

Annnnnd now we’re thinking about what Bill Kristol’s fanfic oeuvre would look like, which is something we definitely could have lived without.

Shudder.

Unfortunately that’s apparently not going to stop Bill from trying his hardest to get Trump to look at him.

Yes, let’s! We should probably set up a calendar reminder or something.

 

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Related:

Bill Kristol observes that ‘anti-wokes’ like Ben Shapiro & Ron DeSantis seem way worse than Woke Mob

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Republicans Are The Lannisters Of American Politics

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The HBO series “Game Of Thrones” dominated television until it ended with mixed feelings in 2019. Despite the sword and sorcery elements, the series managed to engage a wide audience through its political intrigue as the ruling houses schemed to win everything.

One of those houses, the Lannisters, was rich, incestuous and ruthless — similar to the Republican Party except Republicans have few if any of the Lannisters’ positive traits.

The Lannisters, Unlike The Republicans, “Always Pay Their Debts”

The Lannisters’ unofficial motto of “A Lannister always pay his debts” is a fine financial position but also a warning to enemies that they will always settle the score. While Republicans certainly settle their political scores, keeping a promise for repayment is more tenuous, which Republican Rep. Byron Donalds from Florida demonstrated on NBC’s “Meet The Press.”

Donalds decried the Biden Administration and the Democratic Party for not just blankly giving in to the Republicans’ every demand as they hold the world’s financial stability hostage. But all the talking points collapsed after Chuck Todd played a clip of then-President Trump discussing the debt ceiling.

Donalds comes from the same political cesspool as Matt Gaetz and Ron DeSantis, so he gave the game away with zero shame.

DONALDS: Well, first of all, he also said the other day on a rival network that he said that when he was president, and when they asked why he wasn’t saying it now, he said because he’s not president. Listen, Donald Trump is always negotiating —

TODD: Do you realize how absurd that sounds?

DONALDS: That is not absurd. He’s always negotiating, Chuck.

TODD: How is that not absurd? It’s absurd.

DONALDS: Chuck, he’s always negotiating. That’s what he does. And it’s actually one of the reasons why so many deals for our country worked out to our benefit, as compared to his predecessors, both Republican and Democrat, because he’s always negotiating.

TODD: But do you realize how partisan that sounds?

DONALDS: That is not a partisan statement.

TODD: “What is – what is good for me is not for thee.” He’s basically saying, “When I’m president, –

DONALDS: Right.

You know how stupid and nakedly partisan you have to be for anyone in mainstream political media to call it out, much less Chuck “Both Sides” Todd?!

Donalds then tried a little whataboutism that was so provenly false that Chuck Fucking Todd corrected him (again).

TODD: – there’s no negotiating on this. But, hey, when somebody else is president, screw them.”
DONALDS: Well, no, here’s the thing. Let’s be – let’s be realistic now. When Donald Trump was negotiating debt ceiling with Nancy Pelosi, mind you, they negotiated that.
TODD: No, they didn’t.
DONALDS: When they were –
TODD: They raised it without any restrictions.

Losing an argument to Chuck Todd should be an everlasting political wound, like Jamie Lannister’s right hand.

The Republicans’ Lannister-Like Cruelty And Greed

Republicans, like the fictional Lannisters, think they can somehow “shit gold” by just doing cuts that hurt everyone but the rich. Republicans said as much when a reporter asked about raising revenue to “solve” their manufactured debt crisis last week.

When Republicans claim small businesses and family finances are like the federal government’s budget (they aren’t), they conveniently ignore that real world small businesses and families would have to also bring in more revenue to get out of debt. You either raise prices (businesses) or get a raise/second job (families).

The House Budget Committee Chair, Rep Jodey Arrington of Texas, was happy to show his unseriousness on ABC’s “This Week.”

RADDATZ: Well, the President said he’s willing to cut spending by more than a trillion dollars. […] But he also wants Republicans to consider raising revenue. That has been a non-starter for Republicans. But will you reconsider?

ARRINGTON: No, because you couldn’t get tax policies and tax revenues in the Senate bill. We certainly weren’t going to put it in the House bill. So […] it’s not on the table for discussion.

Then there’s full-time podcaster/part-time Republican Sen. Ted Cruz on “Fox News Sunday” spitting out all kinds of bullshit, unchallenged by host Shannon Bream.

It’s not a surprise that this lie was long debunked. But Cruz continued trying to scaremonger to protect the wealthy with some stats on revenue and spending.

CRUZ: In 2017, total government spending was about $4 trillion dollars, tax revenues were about $3.3 trillion dollars. So, we had about a $700 billion dollar deficit. Fast forward to today, total government spending has gone from $4 trillion dollars all the way up to nearly $7 trillion dollars. We nearly doubled government spending since 2017. What has tax revenue done? They’ve gone from $3.3 trillion dollars to right about $5 trillion dollars.

Lyin’ Ted Cruz “conveniently” skipped the $4.9 trillion Trump added, $1.9 of it being tax cuts for the rich by fast-forwarding from 2017 to today, as if the Trump administration never existed.

Cruz’s hate for IRS agents is also to shield his rich sugar daddies, as Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen made clear on “Meet The Press.”

YELLEN: We have an enormous gap between the taxes we’re collecting and what we should be collecting, if everyone paid the taxes that they really owe. And that’s really a reflection of tax fraud. It amounts to an estimated $7 trillion over the next decade. […] equipping the IRS with the funding they need to audit high-income individuals and corporations, that’s something that doesn’t cost money. It nets money substantially […]

For Republicans, protecting tax fraud by the rich and corporations is better when you can also be cruel to poor people and marginalized groups.

And there’s no sign that a single Tyrion Lannister resides within the Republican Party.

Have a week.



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Oh No, What Is Joe Biden Doing To James Comer’s Informants Who Are Definitely Real And Not Imaginary?

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We have been having our little fun watching House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer flail around as he pretends he’s presenting hard evidence against the Bidens to the American people. He has nothing. It’s super-fuckin’ obvious. Fox News knows it. Quite frankly it kind of seems to be annoying them, because they were promised Biden investigations, and this dumb hick can’t manage to make up a damn thing. At least when they were hounding Hillary Clinton for years on end, they were able to scream “Benghazi!” and “Emails!” and they felt like they were saying something.

This is not that.

Comer went on Fox News with deflated Muppet costume Maria Bartiromo this weekend, and she wanted to ask hard journalism questions about “this coverup.” Her face was so serious, like she was a real reporter. But she accidentally got something hilarious out of Comer:

www.youtube.com

BARTIROMO: You have spoken with whistleblowers. You also spoke with an informant who gave you all of this information. Where is that informant today? Where are these whistleblowers?

COMER: Well, unfortunately we can’t track down the informant. We are hopeful that the informant is still there. The whistleblower knows the informant, the whistleblower is very credible.

Unfortunately, the informant has runnt away and Jamie Comer dunnot know whar he is. Heh heh heh. But don’t worry, Jamie Comer will find him wharever he’s hidin’. Maybe he is in the garage. Maybe he’s over yonder in the chicken coop.

Dangit, informant, whar yew at?

The informant is real, though. Jamie Comer seen him. Jamie Comer done come outside and the informant said, “Sir, I have a secret about Hunter Biden’s devil penis,” and Jamie Comer could tell they was real.

So, the very real informant and the very real whistleblower, these are two very real and separate people and not imaginary friends or Russian spies or imaginary Russian spies.

Except wait hold on a second:

BARTIROMO: Hold on a second, Congressman. Did you just say that the whistleblower or the informant is now missing?

COMER: Well, we’re hopeful that we can find the informant. Now remember, these informants are kind of in the spy business, so they don’t make a habit of being seen a lot or being high profile or anything like that.

“The spy business.”

Y’all, even Maria Bartiromo’s face was:

COMER: We have basic information with respect to what the informant has alleged, and it’s very serious! It alleges that Joe Biden when he was vice president was involved in a quid pro quo with a foreign country in exchange for foreign aid.

He pronounced it “quid pro crow.” Latin’s tough for guys like Jamie Comer.

Anyway, we hate it when the vice president of the United States withholds foreign aid. Definitely something the vice president does all the time. You know how they’re the ones who set policy and the foreign aid budget.

Also, it’s funny how those outlines are so similar to the criminal extortion Donald Trump was actually caught doing, trying to force Ukraine to help him steal the 2020 election.

It’s like Comer’s plan here is literally as half-witted as just accusing Biden of exactly what Trump did, but in the mostly brainlessly vague terms possible, and hoping the entire country is too stupid to notice that he’s trying to take all the proper nouns out of the Trump Mad Lib and replace them with Biden words.

BARTIROMO: Are there whistleblowers or informants missing right now?

COMER: [blah blah blah words that don’t mean things] Nine of the 10 people that we’ve identified that have very good knowledge with respect to the Bidens, they’re one of three things, Maria, they’re either currently in court, they’re currently in jail, or they’re currently missing.

Oh no, nine of the 10 people who know the things about the Bidens are one of three things, and one of those things is “in court.”

Okeydoke.

Comer bitched and moaned that the FBI won’t play along with his random accusations, and he babbled that “no president” has ever been accused of the things Biden has. (He hasn’t accused Biden of anything specific.)

And he baselessly said that the people who want to come forward and say things about the Bidens, “They fear for their LAAAAAAAAH-VES!” You betcha.

Bartiromo, if she was genuinely skeptical for even a moment when she was making that face above, went right back to being one of the dumbest, most gullible motherfuckers on Fox News. “This is absolutely extraordinary and it is stunning that some people are missing that you need to prove this!”

She continued:

BARTIROMO: Who in the White House is intimidating these people? Do you know?

COMER: I do know. We’re saving that for a later time.

Of course he is.

It’s funny because Trump and his administration were especially known for witness intimidation and tampering. The judge in the E. Jean Carroll case literally just advised the jurors not to make their identities known for a good long while, if ever.

Speaking to Bartiromo, Comer also accused the Democrats on his committee of acting as “defense attorneys for the Biden family.”

All of this is 100 percent the most laughable kind of projection. Jamie Comer might be stupid enough to think he’s being clever, and the 30 percent of Americans he’s playing to might be that stupid too.

That’s it, that’s the tweet.

Speaking of “that stupid,” here are two of the flying monkeys. Charlie Kirk is really leaning into the conspiracy theory and shitting his pants on command about nine whistleblowers being missing. Marjorie Taylor Greene may not have memorized her lines yet.

You’re all doing great and Jesus loves you.

The end.

UPDATE: Oh no, now she’s going to ask everybody where the informant is. Here she is this morning with GOP Rep. Tim Burchett. this is so GD sad.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.

I would like a BlueSky invite.

I’m also giving things a go at the Mastodon (@[email protected]) and at Post!

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Fox News Had A ‘Great Replacement’ White Supremacy Contest And Laura Ingraham Won!

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We are not saying that all the hosts at Fox News had a meeting where they got real excited that somebody might finally notice THEM doing the Great Replacement theory — you know, the white supremacist conspiracy theory that inspires all those mass shooters! — now that Tucker Carlson, king of spreading the Great Replacement theory, is gone.

We are fully willing to accept the notion that many of the people who work at Fox News are fucking white nationalist scumbags, and enjoy spreading the white supremacist Great Replacement theory for their own reasons. And maybe, just maybe, they’ve been doing it this whole time but we just couldn’t hear them, because Tucker is just a total fucking scene-hogging diva with his racism.

In the past few days, at least three on-air Fox News hosts have done it. It could be more, but Media Matters watches Fox News all day, and these are the ones they highlighted. It’s related to the Biden administration finally ending Donald Trump/Stephen Miller’s racist Title 42immigration policy, wherein the Trump administration used coronavirus as an excuse to to pretty much immediately kick out anybody coming to the border to ask for asylum. (It was pretty much the only time they were VRY SRS about COVID being a real threat.)

SEAN! (AND VICTOR!)

There was Sean Hannity’s show on Tuesday night, with his weird racist guest Victor Davis Hanson, who said many goofy-ass racist argle-bargles about the Biden administration bringing in SEVEN MILLION ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS. They were doing this to “flood the zone,” said Hanson, because “they don’t have confidence in their agenda.” Therefore they have to bring in this “new constituency” (A GREAT REPLACEMENT) to vote for them, because they are just so dang unpopular with the rest of the US Americans.

Here’s the video and the full quote:

VICTOR DAVIS HANSON: You can see that in Joe Biden’s approval ratings, so they feel that they can have a new constituency and turn states like California and Nevada, New Mexico, Colorado, maybe Texas, one day, and Arizona blue from red, and they can get a constituency that needs a larger government, then that’s in their favor, and the only thing they’re worried about right now is the public relations and the optics because they feel it’s so egregious that they have no public support and it’s going to alienate them. That’s all they’re worried about. But, privately, they think, “Wow, we pulled it off. We got 7 million people here illegally before they knew what was going on.” That’s all they care about.

This led Hannity to ask some real strange questions about whether Joe Biden is planning to sell US citizenship to the migrants. Victor Davis Hanson was just like nah, they are just so embarrassed about how unpopular they are, but they are secretly excited because they just succeeded in greatly replacing everybody.

Quick, how many times have Republicans won the popular vote in fucking anything in the last 40 years? But sure, whitey. Keep up your bitchin’. You’re definitely winning new voters for your racist side.

JESSE!

Jesse Watters shot his wad with it on Wednesday.

JUDGE BOXWINE: Tomorrow, when 42 is lifted, I mean, how much worse can it get — 5 million in a year, in two years? I’m sorry.

JESSE WATTERS: Yeah, and then imagine a generation from now. That’s what they want to do here. They want to make Texas a Democrat state. And you’ll never see another Republican in the White House after that.

So dang subtle.

They’re lifting Trump’s white supremacist immigration policy as part of their plan to make Texas a “Democrat state.” (Texas is probably already a “Democrat state” if you take away the racist voter suppression policies of Greg Abbott et al.)

Then Jesse whined out a story about how he was stuck behind a bus of “illegal immigrant families” for 20 minutes on his way to work that day. He asked Greg Abbott to please start sending immigrants to “Chicago or Philly, somewhere I don’t live.” He had to “get out of my Town Car and confront the bus driver.” “You can’t have this in Midtown Manhattan. We’re full.”

You know how Jesse Watters speaks for the average voter in Midtown Manhattan.

LAURA!

And then last night there was Laura Ingraham. Her shit was long and drawn-out and convoluted, but it was greatly replace-y!

Importantly, she said you are GONNA DIE because of all the immigration. Or at least her viewers will. “Untold numbers.” You betcha.

Just gonna give you the whole quote, because holy shit, this is so deranged:

LAURA INGRAHAM: Now, understand this, and understand it well. The scenes you’re watching tonight are not happening because of Biden administration incompetence. They’re happening because this is exactly what the Democrats want.

Now, let me explain this. Liberals and business elites have been working toward this for decades, and now they’re celebrating what is ultimately — if they really get their way — the destruction of America’s middle class. Sounds inflammatory, hyperbolic? Stay with me.

We’re trying.

INGRAHAM: Now, why do they want to destroy the middle class? Well, the far Left hates all those traditions that the middle class clings to, especially the flag-waving, guns, religion — you get the score.

When she says “middle class” she means only white Christian conservative Republicans.

INGRAHAM: And big business, they dislike the middle class because it’s an obstacle to keeping wages as low as possible. Remember, under Trump, the middle class was better off. Their median income was rising and we had minimal inflation. But a limitless supply of low-wage workers, that’s what makes business happiest and keeps America’s middle class the poorest.

Hooray, populism. This is 100 percent Tucker territory. Sadly, there are progressives in America who think you can separate the white supremacist fascism from the populist rhetoric, as if it’s not the precise trick of white supremacist fascists to lean into populism. That’s why there were articles after Tucker’s firing like “No, You Absolutely Do Not Have To Hand It To Tucker Carlson.” Anyway, remember all those window signs from all the mom and pop restaurants about BOO EVERYONE IS LAZY NOBODY WILL WORK FOR US, because the Boomers are all retiring and immigration’s been artificially low, but all those mad restaurant owners are probably “BIG BUSINESS” to the woman on Fox. Also, the BIG BUSINESS that is “hiring nurses to come help your mom.” There are not enough nurses either, it is a total thing! BIG BUSINESS!

INGRAHAM: The open borders radicals think every migrant sleeping on the ground tonight waiting for processing is a future Democrat voter. That’s how they see them. The wealthy donors see the migrants as a much-needed cheap labor. Now, it’s as simple as that.

White supremacist Great Replacement conspiracy theory + fake populism = still just white supremacist Great Replacement conspiracy theory.

INGRAHAM: If those two groups didn’t want this to happen, Biden wouldn’t have done it. Because of what they’ve done, an untold number of Americans will not just lose jobs, but lose their lives.

THEIR LIVES.

INGRAHAM: For these globalists, though, it’s all collateral damage. They don’t care as long as they get to hold onto power and get rich.

(((Globalists.))) We know they mean when they say (((globalists))) are trying to (((hold onto power))) and (((get rich))).

It shows up in the mass shooter manifestos too.

Anyway, damn! We think Laura Ingraham won this white supremacy contest. And with Jesse Watters in the running and everything!

We don’t know how Fox News rewards its employees for these things.

Maybe Laura Ingraham will get to keep the official jar of Tucker’s old farts in her office for a whole week or something.

[Media Matters / Media Matters / Media Matters]

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.

I would like a BlueSky invite.

I’m also giving things a go at the Mastodon (@[email protected]) and at Post!

Have you heard that Wonkette DOES NOT EXIST without your donations? Please hear it now, and if you have ever enjoyed a Wonkette article, throw us some bucks, or better yet, SUBSCRIBE!

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The Flat Circle Of Republican Stupidity

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Republicans long for a past that never was, and this inevitably leads them to sound like idiots as they twist themselves into pretzels trying to rationalize their calls for societal regression. Need examples? Let’s look at some in the Sunday shows!

We’re Not Book Burning, You’re the Book Burning!

Republican National Committee Chair Ronna Romney McDaniel was on “Fox News Sunday,” and while discussing the party’s post 2022 debrief report, she said a few things that were surprisingly truthful.

MCDANIEL: […] biggest takeaway we are taking is independents did not break our way, which has to happen if we’re going to win in 2024, which usually that’s what causes that red wave. And abortion was a big issue in key states like Michigan and Pennsylvanian. […] Republicans are migrating. They are migrating to red states. […] But it means the White House electorally isn’t available to us unless we go through a purple or blue state. And those states are getting bluer, because red voters are moving to the red states. […] the path to the White House runs not just through independents, but every single Republican getting on board.

It’s pretty shocking to hear anyone in the RNC, much less its chairperson, point out an objective reality. So what different actions or rhetoric do they plan to use to better their chances in 2024? Like, for example, abortion:

MCDANIEL: […] What abortion is a bad idea to Democrats? Ninth month, eighth month, seventh month? They can’t even articulate an abortion that’s a bad idea. Gender selection, if it’s a girl, you get to abort it. Tax-funded abortions for people where it’s against their religious conscience. […]

Nothing, then. They plan on changing nothing and expecting different results. If only there was a phrase for that.

Actually, correction, they do have another political strategy: The ole’ “we’re rubber, you’re glue”!

When asked about Republican attacks on trans people, which are politically unpopular, McDaniel attempted some very strained whataboutism.

MCDANIEL: […] the Democrats are using this word book banning. […] That’s a lie. There isn’t book banning. What Republicans are doing are protecting our children and parental rights […] But it’s good to know the Democrats playbook and we’re going to push on that, especially coming from the Democrat party that is banning freedom of speech, that is canceling people, that is destroying your life if you don’t think with their orthodoxy. This is the Democrat Party who is saying if you think outside of the box and everything, we are dictating to you, you will make you lose your job, we will destroy you.

Republicans have literally been fighting Disney because it dared exercised free speech, made book banning much easier, extended Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” bigotry, and threatened to separate children from parents who are not bigoted toward their trans kids. But, sure, it’s the Democrats who are “destroying anyone who doesn’t conform to orthodoxy and taking their jobs while threatening to destroy them.”

Speaking of, how’s that dirt file on fired Fox News host Tucker Carlson?

Let’s Default Our National Debt!

House Republican Whip Tom Emmer appeared on CNN’s “State of The Union” and wouldn’t directly state that his party won’t force a default on the nation’s debt.

Host Dana Bash tried pointing out specifically how the cuts they want would hurt his constituents, but Emmer made it clear he will ignore them or just blame Nancy Pelosi when the reality doesn’t match his delusions.

GOP’s Vanity Tech Douche Candidate Returns

NBC’s “Meet The Press” had on Republican presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy. Although considering his polling, calling him a candidate is a bit too generous, but nonetheless, we are all subjected to his stupidity on TV and expected to take him seriously. So fresh from giving Don Lemon his last good journalistic moment on CNN, Ramaswamy made Chuck Todd look like Walter Cronkite.

When Ramaswamy brings up an example of a person who says their gender doesn’t align with their biological sex, he seems to know the difference between sex and gender. But when Todd questions his stance on gender being binary, Ramaswamy then perhaps deliberately conflates biological sex with gender.

RAMASWAMY: Well, there’s, there’s two X chromosomes if you’re a woman. An X and a Y, that means you’re a man.

TODD: There’s a lot of scientific research out there –

RAMASWAMY: There’s a biological basis for this —

TODD: There’s a lot of scientific research out there that says gender is a spectrum.

RAMASWAMY: Chuck, I respectfully disagree.

Funny how these transphobic clowns want to bring biology into this UNTIL scientific research disputes their transphobia and then they fall back on what they “feel” or disagree just because.

Ramaswamy also equates abortion with murder but says it’s a “states’ right issue.” That’s not how “states’ rights” work, even if a Republican nominee barely polling above skim milk says so.

Asa Hutchinson’s Decimal Points

Speaking of polling, Asa Hutchinson announced he was running for president almost exactly a month ago. He appeared on CNN’s “State Of the Union” this week to call for going back to a Republican Party that died long before Trump came down an escalator in 2015. So how are Republican voters embracing this? We’ll let this picture summarize it.

Can this change for Hutchinson? Likely not when he is polling lower than the fictional Conor Roy in “Succession,” who we actually compared to Hutchinson too optimistically.

Phrasing, Steve Scalise!

When asked about any possible tension between himself and House Speaker Kevin McCarthy on ABC’s “This Week,” Steve Scalise chose an odd way to describe their closeness yet trust.

Could be worse: Scalise could have kept misunderstanding what “raw dog” is.

Have a week



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Tucker So Mad Nobody Talking About How Leaker Exposed Secret HOT WAR Between Russia And 14 US Troops

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Well, that didn’t take long.

Yesterday, a 21-year-old Massachusetts Air National Guard member named Jack Teixeira was arrested in connection with the Discord leaks. It sounds like this wasn’t some high-tech dude who really covered his tracks, since earlier that day, the Washington Post was reporting on the extensive conversations it had with a teenager in the dude’s Discord group, who among other things showed WaPo a video of the guy shooting guns while yelling racist and antisemitic slurs.

It was then that we personally knew MAGA types were going to get a red hot doggie boner for this guy, whoever he was.

It’s that, but it’s also so much more than that. On top of the red hot doggie boner, they are just lying about what the leaks say, because they know their followers are too stupid and trusting to check things for themselves. Specifically, they are lying and saying the leaked documents show America is in a secret hot war against Russia, and that the Biden administration is lying about it. Ayup.

Obviously Tucker Carlson went hard last night.

Nikki McCann Ramirez reports at Rolling Stone:

“Tonight, the news media are celebrating the capture of the kid who told Americans what’s actually happening in Ukraine,” Carlson told viewers. He continued, “They are treating him like Osama Bin Laden, maybe even worse actually, because, unlike Al Qaeda, apparently, this kid is a racist.” The host was referring to reports that the Discord server in which Teixeira shared the documents contained several racist memes.

Oh no, what is the truth? And how are they treating him worse than Bin Laden? Are they raiding his compound in Pakistan? And how dare they call him a racist just because he’s apparently a racist who shoots guns in the air while yelling racist things? If they start calling people racist just because they’re always saying racist things, then …

Oh no, Tucker, what is ACTUALLY HAPPENING in Ukraine?

As Ramirez explains, the documents say there are 14 US special forces in Ukraine. (Yes, 14.) This means, according to Tucker, that he’s been right all along and this is really America’s war in Ukraine against Russia. Why did we only secretly deploy 14 troops? Probably because the rest of the military is woke and full of Dylan Mulvaney’s Bud Light and there were only 14 among the entire American fighting force who were combat-ready, but we imagine that’s a Tucker monologue for another time.

“The United States is a direct combatant in a war against Russia. As we speak, American soldiers are fighting Russian soldiers,” Carlson claimed, “This is a hot war between the two primary nuclear superpowers on Earth. And yet, this war has never been formally declared. It has not been authorized by Congress. And for that reason, this war is a violation of American law. It is a crime.”

Fourteen US special forces. Against hundreds of thousands of Russians who illegally invaded Ukraine and immediately started executing and raping and torturing kids. You know, just to remind you what the country Tucker does propaganda for has actually been doing there. What atrocities Tucker’s real father Putin is responsible for.

Fourteen US special forces. Sounds like they’re just at the embassy in Kyiv, doing embassy stuff.

But that’s how Tucker is selling his lie that actually this is an illegal American war against his adopted motherland, which he really ought to fuck off to. Even though, as Ramirez notes here, Fox News’s own correspondent Jacqui Heinrich confirmed the reporting that the 14 special forces are just at the embassy doing shit there.

Ramirez also notes that Heinrich is the very reporter Tucker wanted fired after the 2020 election, because she called bullshit on Donald Trump’s Big Lie on TV. Tucker and other Fox News hosts were busy actively and knowingly lying to their viewers about the election at that time. Couldn’t have news reporters reporting the news, it was getting in the way of their lying.

Anyway, back to Teixeira AKA Tucker’s new barely legal boy crush:

“What’s happening to this leaker now is what happens to anyone who contradicts the National Security State and their obedient servants in the media. You go to prison.”

Uh huh, OK, sure, maybe Tucker can bake him some brownies and go visit him at the jail or something.

We don’t know the full story yet on this dumbass Jack Teixeira. We don’t know if he’s just a stupid racist MAGA idiot who thought it was cool to share intelligence he improperly stole with his stupid friends on Discord, or if he had been somehow turned or was being used, wittingly or unwittingly, by our enemies. It definitely sounds like the first part is true. He seems like an absolute loser.

Here’s a really interesting clip of NBC News reporter Ben Collins talking about the chain of custody of the leaked documents, how they started with the little racist gun-humper nerd trying to impress his video game friends on the video game chat:

But anyway, back to Tucker’s show. Oh god, there was so much whining.

Tucker bitched and moaned that the media is hiding the REAL secrets of the leaks, and that the New York Times and Washington Post conspired with the FBI and used “illegal surveillance techniques” to track the dude down. He invited his buddy Glenn Greenwald on so they could bitch and moan together about all the things Glenn and the white supremacist fascists are mad about regarding this. Surprise! Glenn repeated the thing about how these docs reveal that American officials LIED and there are American “boots on the ground” in Ukraine.

(Twenty-eight boots, to be precise. At the embassy in Kyiv. Doin’ embassy stuff.)

Tucker agreed that it is appalling that the media colluded with the Deep State to hide that we are in a “direct hot war” with Russia. Tucker said this is the “most significant fact of our generation.” (Uncle Sam wants YOU! But only 14 of you! The rest you just keep being woke and transgender and reading your gay poems on battleships!)

Here’s video of that, if you have fuckall to do:

It really is amazing how quickly Vladimir Putin’s fluffers in America have decided this loser is the best thing since sliced (white) bread, and how their talking points got coordinated so fast.

Speaking of that, hi there, Marjorie Taylor Greene.

Here’s the full text of that:

Jake Teixeira is white, male, christian, and antiwar. That makes him an enemy to the Biden regime. And he told the truth about troops being on the ground in Ukraine and a lot more. Ask yourself who is the real enemy? A young low level national guardsmen? Or the administration that is waging war in Ukraine, a non-NATO nation, against nuclear Russia without war powers?

Again, SO WEIRD, how quickly their talking points came together. Or as Greg Sargent tweeted, “It’s interesting how direct and open the pro-Putin right is in linking Russia’s fortunes to those of the illiberal authoritarian white Christian secession movement in the United States.”

Except it’s not surprising.

All these people are traitors to America and to the entire free world and everything good that exists in it.

In summary and in conclusion, Tucker was really mad in 2017 when Reality Winner leaked government secrets that exposed Russian crimes against America in the 2016 election. Called her a felon and everything. Just saying.

That’s it, that’s our summary and conclusion.

[Rolling Stone]

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Oh Sure Kamala And Old Joe LOOOOVE Insurrection When It’s … Nah We Can’t Keep This Up

Post By Politics , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

We’re pretty sure the Republican supermajority in the Tennessee House of Representatives had no idea that Thursday’s semi-successful effort to expel three Democratic lawmakers would get anything like the national attention it did. When they hold power, the comfortably bigoted have a hard time imagining anyone could possibly disagree with them, or pay attention to a little old score-settling against some pipsqueak liberals. The hasty, slapdash proceedings, with only a homeopathic trace of due process, made pretty clear the Republicans planned to quickly give the three a fast show trial and be done with them.

Instead, they ended up with a national media spectacle, and came out looking like arrogant, out of touch racists, expelling Reps. Justin Pearson and Justin Jones — two young, charismatic Black members — while falling one vote shy of expelling Rep. Gloria Johnson, the white, 60-year-old retired teacher whom they seemed to feel more kinship with. As we’ll note again and again, Johnson knew exactly what was up, telling reporters, “It might have to do with the color of our skin.”

Following the Republican lynching of democracy, Vice President Kamala Harris flew to Nashville Friday to call for gun control and to meet with all three Democrats — the ones targeted for expulsion, not all three Democrats in Tennessee. Heck, the Tennessee House has an entire Democratic caucus, and Harris met with them Friday, too.

Harris tweeted Thursday to call out the Republicans’ swift action on precisely the wrong thing:

Six people, including three children, were killed last week in a school shooting in Nashville.

How did Republican lawmakers in Tennessee respond?

By expelling their colleagues who stood with Tennesseans and said enough is enough.

This is undemocratic and dangerous.

Here’s her speech at Fisk University:

youtu.be

President Biden also issued a statement Thursday condemning the expulsions, noting that more than 7,000 students had gone to the Tennessee Capitol on March 30 to peacefully “call on their lawmakers to take action and keep them safe.”

Instead, state Republican lawmakers called votes today to expel three Democratic legislators who stood in solidarity with students and families and helped lift their voices. Today’s expulsion of lawmakers who engaged in peaceful protest is shocking, undemocratic, and without precedent. Rather than debating the merits of the issue, these Republican lawmakers have chosen to punish, silence, and expel duly-elected representatives of the people of Tennessee.

On Friday, before Harris met with Jones, Pearson, and Johnson, Biden also spoke with them on a conference call, and invited them to come to the White House sometime soon. As far as we know, none of the Republicans who engineered the expulsion effort have been invited anywhere nice. That statement will hold even if Donald Trump invites them to one of his trash palaces.

We also found this slightly encouraging news McNugget: Only one Republican in the Tennessee House, Rep. Charlie Baum, voted “Nay” on all three expulsions. Baum has a 92 percent rating from the NRA (and a 100 percent score from National Right to Life), but we want to to encourage Republicans when they do the right thing — positive reinforcement can lead to improvements. So an imaginary chocolate chip cookie to Rep. Baum, in hopes that he’ll stop selling death sticks and go home to rethink his life.

In Washington DC, the Congressional Black Caucus issued a statement condemning the expulsions, saying that the treatment of Reps. Pearson and Jones

makes clear that racism is alive and well in Tennessee. The GOP-led House chose to silence dissent from not only the Black representatives in the chamber, but the voices of their constituents as well. This move is not only racist and anti-democratic, it is morally bankrupt and out of step with the overwhelming majority of Americans who believe that we need common sense gun control reforms to save lives.

Not everyone found fault with the Tennessee Republicans, starting with the Tennessee Republican Party, which sent out a fundraising email praising the brave House Republicans who “upheld the rule of law” — or at least the iron rule of rules — by voting to “remove 2 Democrat State Representative that [it should be “who” — Dok] disrupted and protested the legislative process on March 30th,” which doesn’t make any sense at all since they were definitely not protesting the legislative process, they were protesting the GOP’s chronic firearms priapism disorder.

Fox News, not surprisingly, ran a ton of stories on its website, including one ripping Johnson for saying that “North Korea has more democracy” than Tennessee (the subhed said she “faced expulsion after storming the state Capitol with gun control protesters,” which would have been quite a feat since she was already inside the building, and the protesters had all gone through security like any visitor. The story repeated the claim that all three Democrats were charged with “rushing the state Capitol,” too. Another story Thursday claimed that “Chaos erupts again” at the Capitol because crowds came to protest the vote — or rather, “stormed the Capitol” and “chanted” like some kind of insurrectionists.

On Fox News proper, the Fox & Friends crowd Friday morning explained that the expulsions were justified, because rules are rules and they have to be followed unless you think Donald Trump’s election was stolen. Host Ainsley Earhardt said the expulsions sent an important message “not to storm our government buildings. Right?”

Wrong, as we keep noting, because nobody stormed anything, no matter how much the Right insists this was just like January 6. Earhart also straight up lied that the three Democrats “were leading those protesters onto the balcony in the House chamber last week,” a difficult trick to accomplish from the floor of the House, with people who went through security (but also shouted once inside!) And also, what is “gallery”?

Cohost Will Cain kept the bullshit comparison going, calling Joe Biden a hypocrite while he was at it.

So during January 6th, people condemnably rioted and stormed the Capitol and it is described as undemocratic. In Tennessee, people stormed the Capitol, interrupted the democratic process, and used bullhorns. And if you punish them, that’s undemocratic. So it’s undemocratic as long as it is in disfavor with Joe Biden.

Brian Kilmeade chimed in with a witty observation that would be funny to viewers who know nothing about what Fox staff were actually saying about January 6:

Here’s the big difference. It’s okay to storm the Capitol if you are against assault, against gun control laws, or if you’re for gun control, it is. Okay. Here’s the difference. It’s a statehouse as opposed to the Capitol. I get it. Number two is lawmakers were leaning toward this. They were just like, “Hey, guys, I agree with you, but get out.”

OK, scratch what I said before. That made no sense at all, the end.

[White House / USA Today / The Hill / Mediaite]

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Wowwww Everyone Saying Wokey McBankFace Gave Black Lives Matter $73M Is A Goddamn Liar

Post By Politics , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

We guess this is their attempt to make the halfwit “woke bank” lie more intellectual racist. Because to appeal to the kinds of people who vote for Republicans and consume rightwing media with the voraciousness of Ron DeSantis fingering a pudding cup, your talking points need to make sense jam at the white supremacist G-spots inside their bottoms.

We first heard it on Tucker on Wednesday night, so there’s a huge shock. In the middle of his fuckbonkers monologue, which was really nothing more than interactive bingo for those aforementioned G-spots, he said that “according to amazing new analysis from the Claremont Institute, Silicon Valley Bank — brace yourself — spent more than $73 million on donations to BLM and related organizations.”

LOL “Claremont Institute.” There’s your first clue this is some absolute full-of-shit nonsense. OK actually the first clue was Tucker’s mouth was moving and he was making those high-pitched yipyap sounds that always come out when he talks.

SEVENTY-THREE MILLION DONATIONS TO BLM! (And related organizations asterisk shhhhhhh.)

Friends, does it make sense that Silicon Valley Bank donated $73 MILLION TO BLACK LIVES MATTER (and related organizations asterisk shhhhh)?

That would be a very big sponsorship, if so!

Anyway, this wasn’t just something that was written on whatever Tucker had stuck up his butt that night. The entire rightwing media has latched on. Donald Trump Jr. pulled the $73 million number out of his pants and played with it on Twitter. On Fox News, Jesse Watters said Tuesday night that Wokey McBankFace gave $74 million to BLM. He’s also said $75 million. (The number is jumping around a bit, which is fine, because it’s all lies.) Ainsley Earhardt repeated it on “Fox & Friends” on Wednesday morning. Larry Kudlow pegged it at $75 million. (Guess that was one of the WOKE ROMPINGS he’s been accusing the bank of this week.)

Everybody on Fox News said it.

Look, a video.

www.youtube.com

Friends, would you like to know how much money Wokey McBankFace donated to Black Lives Matter?

Zero dollars. The answer is zero dollars.

Several sites have done extensive debunkings of how Claremont Institute put together its “amazing new analysis” that ended up manufacturing this fake lying amount of donations for lying rightwing fascist pundits to piss into their followers’ receptive gullets. Josh Marshall has a good one at Talking Points Memo. The link we posted above — and will post again right now — from Judd Legum and his pals at Popular Information is extensive and detailed.

The key to the damned fucking lie is that it’s including “pledges to groups that are associated with Black Lives Matter.” Wait, that’s not the key to the lie. Wokey McBankFace gave all those related orgs zero dollars.

The key to the damned fucking lie is that it includes “organizations and initiatives that advance one or more aspects of BLM’s agenda.” And what are some aspects of BLM’s agenda? Well, Claremont says it’s to — hold on to your funny bones for this one — “undermine capitalism, the nation state, and Western civilization.” These people are such fucking shut-in bigots, Jesus Christ.

But that’s not even how Claremont calculates it, as Legum explains. We’re just going to copy/paste you four paragraphs, because it’s not like we did the research:

In 2021, SVB made a pledge to spend $50 million over five years on an internal initiative called Access to Innovation. The program sought to connect women, Black people, and Latinos with startup funding, networking, and leadership development in the venture capitalist ecosystem. Integrating marginalized groups into the venture capitalist community seems like an odd way to “undermine capitalism,” the purpose of BLM, according to the Claremont Institute. And since the program was to last five years, most of the money has probably not been spent. Nevertheless, the $50 million represents more than two-thirds of SVB’s alleged support for BLM.

The other major contribution by SVB that the Claremont Institute says was BLM-related was a $20 million donation “to support additional COVID-19 relief” and establish a “full-ride, needs-based University Scholarship program to students at Arizona State University, Florida A&M University, Tulane University, and Xavier University.” (The $20 million represented the fees SVB collected for processing loans under the Paycheck Protection Program.) It is unclear what COVID-19 relief and college scholarships have to do with BLM.

The Claremont Institute database also says that SVB spent another $1.2 million on the Access to Innovation program and $1.6 million on “causes supporting gender parity in innovation” in 2020. According to the sources cited by the Claremont Institute, these expenditures actually occurred in 2019. They also have no apparent connection to the BLM movement.

Rounding out the Claremont Institute database is a 2020 “2:1 matching campaign for employees who donate their money or time to social justice organizations, which raised nearly $400,000.” The identity of these groups is not disclosed, but the Claremont Institute assumes they must be related to BLM. In addition, the database includes $250,000 of donations from the SVB Foundation in “corporate donations to the NAACP, ACLU, National Urban League and other organizations.” (These donations may overlap with the matching program.) The Claremont Institute considers the NAACP and the ACLU to be “BLM partners.” In reality they are two of the oldest and most respected civil rights and civil liberties organizations in the United States.

And that, friends, is how the rightwing white supremacist sausage party lie is made. If you’d rather read it in more bite-sized form, Legum made a Twitter thread.

Why do they get away with this? Because Claremont and every rightwing piece of shit repeating the lie know with 100 percent confidence that the idiots who get their news from them are too stupid and gullible to check the information for themselves, and too racist to notice the fact that THE LIE DOESN’T EVEN FUCKING MAKE SENSE. These morons have been buying “WOKE BANKS!11111!” this whole week, they’re the stupidest people in the entire world.

Remember how the Dominion texts are showing us how Fox News knowingly and intentionally lies to its viewers for fun and profit?

Yeah.

[Popular Information]

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Republican Losers Club Update

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The first Republican presidential debates are still a long way to come, but already we have seen those delusional enough to try to run for the 2024 nomination make fools of themselves. Two weeks ago, we saw Nikki Haley face-planting while defending her candidacy on Fox News. Last week, we saw Sen. Tim Scott repeat the same mistake as Haley while Republican National Committee Chair Ronna Romney McDaniel offered up loyalty oaths and failed to condemn coups.

So let’s check up on two more 2024 Republican presidential contenders and see how their early attempts are faring.

Chris Sununu: The Susan Collins Of Mitt Romneys

“Meet The Press” with Chuck Todd hosted New Hampshire Gov. Chris Sununu because he’s considering running for the Republican nomination and the media will give anyone time who says so — especially those who have made their public image being a “good” or “sane” Republican. But this interview did a lot to both prove what a fraud Sununu is and how subservient a lemming he will ultimately be.

Sununu discussed his hopefulness for the future and the next generation of Republicans made up of optimistic, inspirational conservatives. Todd pointed out Sununu had spoken to the Club For Growth, which Todd pointed out supported Donald Trump and all his unhinged MAGA-endorsed candidates in the midterms instead of those that Sununu claims he wants.

Sununu tried again to explain how his supposed “change in approach’ is what the Republican Party really wants, but then Todd pointed out reality and how his sugarplum wishes for different primary voters won’t materialize.

TODD: I understand what you’re trying to do. At the same time you heard the former president at CPAC, and he certainly has as stranglehold on 25 to 35 percent of the party, we can have a debate about the specific number, and you know what those folks want. They want to make liberals cry, right? Like, that’s the message they want. They want that more than they want a big tent. So how do you appeal to those voters?

Sununu kept insisting that Republican primary voters want “leadership that is results-driven, that gets stuff done” and “if there’s that part of the party that wants to, as you said, ‘make liberals cry,’ or whatever it might be, you do it by winning, and you do it by getting stuff done, passing it through Congress, working on both sides.” The problem is that the old days of acting normal to get elected but then passing draconian laws won’t get you elected. You don’t win a primary unless you vow to make “the libs cry,” which then makes it infinitely harder to win the general election when suddenly those liberal and independent voters can tell you to kick rocks.

Sununu was also asked about the RNC’s required loyalty pledge to participate in RNC-sanctioned debates. Did Sununu, like Asa Hutchinson, say how bad the oath is if it supports insurrectionists?

Nope! Sununu will support anyone with an ‘R’ by their name, even if they tried to overthrow the government or actively represent the very things Sununu claims to oppose. Need further proof? Let’s see who Sununu could see winning the Republican nomination today.

SUNUNU: […]Right now if the election were today, Ron DeSantis would win in New Hampshire, there’s no doubt about that in my mind. I think Ron DeSantis would win in Florida. […]

Sununu didn’t say this in disgust or fear but to point out how the “new generation” of DeSantis would defeat Trump, even though ideologically DeSantis is the same as Trump. Sununu is basically selling “New Coke” to replace “Old Coke,” and that is not going to age well.

About as badly as the first time. For the product and the pitch person.youtu.be

Sununu was also asked about the Fox News/Dominion case revelations and he tried to “both sides” the issue, which Chuck Todd disputed (either out of journalism or fear of losing his “both sides” crown).

TODD: Yeah. Intentionally lying to viewers, though, that to me seemed to cross a line.

SUNUNU: Well, look –

TODD: You can make a mistake, but that wasn’t a mistake.

Sununu tried to bring up Hunter Biden’s laptop (which mainstream media never repressed but wanted vetted before reporting on it) and the possibility of COVID-19’s origin in a lab (which was reported based on the credible available evidence at the time). This proves the Wonkette theory of No-Good Republicans still holds strong — that and the Republican obsession with NSFW pics of Hunter Biden.

Pompeo Continued Delusional Tour Continues

Mike Pompeo, like the weasel he is, has been trying to distance himself from Trump and his administration despite leaning heavily on his past experience in said administration to justify his presidential run. Pompeo has hit Trump on the deficit and made a direct jab at CPAC on March 3. On “Fox News Sunday,” Pompeo was more subtle about it. He didn’t mention Trump by name but made the same case.

These are pretty strong words coming from a guy who helped add to that debt while serving as CIA director and secretary of State for the Trump administration. Pompeo was asked by Shannon Bream about his critiques of Trump and again Pompeo made vague allusions to him while avoiding his name.

Pompeo added:

[…] the moment for celebrity, the moment for stars is not with us. It’s the moment for America to go back to it’s conservative founding and it’s conservative ideas. And I am very confident […] we are headed that direction.

Three things:

  1. The Republican Party that has elevated Ronald Reagan, Trump, Fred Thompson, Clint Eastwood, Sonny Bono and Arnold Schwarzenegger have always been “star fuckers.” It’s why they bow for any conservative celebrity when they reveal themselves.
  2. The thing those celebrities have is some type of charisma or charm, which is why they are elected.
  3. Pompeo will never be president.

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Self-anointed ‘Vaccine Scientist-Author-Combat Antiscience’ still fighting lab-leak ‘misinformation’

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A whole lot of so-called “experts” still have a whole lot of egg on their faces today after the lab-leak conspiracy theory for the origins of the COVID pandemic turned out to not be a conspiracy theory after all. If only someone had tried to convince them that it was a terrible, horrible, no-good, very-bad idea to dismiss the lab-leak hypothesis as unscientific, racist, conspiratorial garbage.

Someone did try to convince of that, in fact. Many people did. GOP Sen. Tom Cotton was one of them, and he was slimed and raked over the coals for it by the FoLLoW tHe SciEnCe™ community.

Sen. Cotton called for transparency. The “experts” fought tooth-and-nail against it. It didn’t work out well for the latter group. And now we’re seeing how they behave when confronted with extremely compelling evidence that they put all their eggs in the wrong basket.

Let’s take a look at “Vaccine Scientist-Author-Combat Antiscience” Peter Hotez MD PhD BBQ PDQ (OK, we added the last two), for example, who, like so many others, isn’t handling the news very well:

Here’s our post about the New York Times piece that Hotez is referring to. It really screwed with the narrative Hotez wanted to perpetuate.

It’s important to note, since Peter did not, that COVID having natural origins does not actually disprove the lab-leak hypothesis. Virology labs often conduct research on viruses that originated in nature. The problem is when one of those viruses that originated in nature somehow gets out of the lab and spreads to places where it wasn’t naturally found, like, say, outside of caves inhabited by infected bats.

Now, now, Peter … just because you got caught trying to whitewash your own COVID misdeeds doesn’t mean that’s what people giving credence to the lab-leak hypothesis are doing. But you already knew that, didn’t you? You just know where your bread was buttered and don’t want to go hungry.

We can actually picture Hotez sneering as he typed that.

Admitting they may have been wrong would be the first step toward redemption in the eyes of a willfully misled public. It would also just be the right thing to do.

And that is why — perhaps with a handful (see what we did there?) of exceptions — they’ll never, ever do it.

***

Related:

Your crow is served: The COVID lab leak theory was dismissed by many – Twitter reminded them today

Jill Filipovic knows who’s to blame for libs/media calling misinfo on any theory blaming China lab for Covid

***

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