Tag: Animals

Whether you’re a ‘shark,’ ‘teddy bear’ or ‘fox,’ here’s how to ease conflict with family and friends | CNN

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Editor’s Note: The views expressed in this commentary are solely those of the writers. CNN is showcasing the work of The Conversation, a collaboration between journalists and academics to provide news analysis and commentary. The content is produced solely by The Conversation.



The Conversation
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For all the joy they bring, families and close friendships often involve conflict, betrayal, regret and resentment. Prince Harry’s recent memoir, “Spare,” is a reminder of the fact that the people closest to us often have the greatest power to hurt us. He describes power struggles, conflict, challenging family dynamics and decades of guilt, jealousy and resentment.

This sort of conflict can feel impossible to resolve. It’s not easy to move past, and sometimes it simply isn’t going to happen — at least in the short term. But psychology has helped us understand more about the breakdown of close relationships and what factors make resolution more likely.

In the course of a lifetime, it is difficult to avoid hurting, upsetting or being in conflict with people we love. It is an inevitable part of most lives, and learning how to negotiate it is a more useful and realistic goal than avoiding it. The first step is understanding what makes relationship conflict so difficult and the different approaches people have to it.

Canadian psychologists Judy Makinen and Susan Johnson have used the term attachment injuries to describe the sorts of wounds inflicted when we perceive that we have been abandoned, betrayed or mistreated by those closest to us.

These wounds sting so sharply because they lead us to question the safety, dependability or allegiance of these people. They trigger a myriad of emotional and behavioral responses, including aggression, resentment, fear, avoidance and reluctance to forgive. These responses have evolved as self-protection and are rooted to our personal histories and personality.

But the pain can linger indefinitely, continuing to influence us from the shadows. So what have psychologists learned about how people heal, move through the hurt and even learn and grow from it?

READ MORE: ‘Love languages’ might help you understand your partner — but it’s not exactly science

Much research has been carried out studying conflict resolution. Social psychologist David W. Johnson studied conflict management “styles” in humans and modeled the typical ways we respond to conflict.

He argued that our responses and strategies in conflict resolution tend to involve an attempt to balance our own concerns (our goals) with the concerns of the other people involved (their goals and preservation of the relationship).

Johnson outlined five main styles or approaches to this balancing act.

  • “Turtles” withdraw, abandoning both their own goals and the relationship. The result tends to be frozen, unresolved conflict.
  • “Sharks” have an aggressive, forceful take and protect their own goals at all costs. They tend to attack, intimidate and overwhelm during conflict.
  • “Teddy bears” seek to keep the peace and smooth things over. They drop their own goals completely. They sacrifice for the sake of the relationship.
  • “Foxes” adopt a compromising style. They are concerned with sacrifices being made on both sides and see concession as the solution, even when it results in less-than-ideal outcomes for both sides.
  • “Owls” adopt a style that views conflict as a problem to be resolved. They are open to solving it through whichever solutions offer both parties a pathway to achieve their goals and maintain the relationship. This can involve considerable time and effort. But owls are willing to endure the struggle.

READ MORE: Moving in with your partner? Talking about these 3 things first can smooth the way, according to a couples therapist

Research has suggested that our conflict resolution styles are related to our personalities and attachment histories. For example, people whose early attachment experiences taught them that their feelings are unimportant or invisible may be more likely to develop conflict management styles that instinctively minimize their needs (for example, the teddy bear).

Some psychologists have also suggested that our conflict management styles can be modified in long-term relationships but do not tend to change dramatically. In other words, while a teddy bear may have the potential to develop conflict management characteristics that reflect other styles, they are highly unlikely to turn into a shark.

Psychologists Richard Mackey, Matthew Diemer and Bernard O’Brien argued conflict is inevitable in all relationships. Their research found the duration of a relationship heavily depends upon how conflict is dealt with, and the longest-lasting, most fulfilling relationships are those in which conflict is accepted and constructively approached by both parties.

So, while a relationship between two sharks might be enduring, the likelihood that it will be harmonious is significantly less compared with a relationship between two owls.

READ MORE: Should I stay or should I go? Here are the factors people ponder when deciding to break up

Forgiveness is often hailed as the ultimate goal in relationship conflict. Jungian analysts Lisa Marchiano, Joseph Lee and Deborah Stewart describe forgiveness as reaching a place where we are able to “hold in our hearts at the same time, the magnitude of the injury that has been done to us and the humanity of the injurer.” That’s not an easy place to reach because it can feel as though we are minimizing our suffering by forgiving someone.

Psychologists Masi Noor and Marina Cantacuzino founded the Forgiveness Project, which provides resources to help people overcome unresolved grievances. They include a set of essential skills or tools that they argue can help us reach forgiveness.

These include understanding that all humans are fallible (including ourselves), giving up competing over who has suffered more, finding empathy for how others see the world and acknowledging that other perspectives exist, and accepting responsibility for how we might have contributed to our own suffering, even if it’s a bitter pill to swallow.

As Mark Twain put it: “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

READ MORE: Sex, love and companionship … with AI? Why human-machine relationships could go mainstream

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Fossilized eggs crack open the mysteries of the past | CNN

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CNN
 — 

Eggs have been laid on land by birds, reptiles, dinosaurs and a few oddball mammals for more than 200 million years.

And humans have been using some of these eggs as a nutritious source of food, and their shells as bowls, bottles and jewelry for most of our history on the planet.

Though they’ve often been overshadowed by skeletons and bones, fossilized eggshells are a fascinating source of information, illuminating the behavior and diet of ancient creatures, detailing changes in climate and revealing how our prehistoric relatives lived and communicated.

This Easter, here are six surprising things eggs have revealed about the past.

Did dinosaur blood run cold, like a lizard, or warm, like a bird? It’s a topic that’s long divided paleontologists.

An analysis of fossilized dinosaur egg shells suggests it’s the latter. By looking at the order of oxygen and carbon atoms in the fossilized egg shells, researchers were able to calculate a dinosaur mom’s internal body temperature. It’s a process called “clumped isotope paleothermometry.”

“Eggs, because they are formed inside dinosaurs, act like ancient thermometers,” said Pincelli Hull, an assistant professor at Yale University’s department of geology and geophysics, and a coauthor of the study, which published in 2020.

Hull and her colleagues found that the samples they tested suggested dinosaurs’ body temperatures were warmer than their surroundings would have been.

The research indicates that unlike reptiles, which rely on heat from the environment, dinosaurs were capable of internally generating heat – more like birds.

A study of fossilized eggshells revealed humans may have been hatching and raising cassowaries for more than 18,000 years.

You might think that chickens—or even ducks or turkeys—were the earliest birds to be domesticated by humans.

However, eggshell fragments found at two prehistoric sites in Papua New Guinea suggest that humans may have been raising cassowaries—often described as the world’s most dangerous birds because of a daggerlike claw they have on each foot—as early as 18,000 years ago.

Territorial, aggressive and often compared to a dinosaur in looks, the bird is a surprising candidate for domestication. But a study of more than 1,000 fossilized Papua New Guinea eggshell fragments has suggested the birds were deliberately hatched.

To reach their conclusions, the researchers first studied the eggshells of living birds, including turkeys, emus and ostriches. The insides of the eggshells change as the developing chicks get calcium from the eggshell. Using high-resolution 3D images and inspecting the inside of the eggs, the researchers were able to build a model of what the eggs looked like during different stages of incubation.

The scientists tested their model on modern emu and ostrich eggs before applying it to the fossilized eggshell fragments found in New Guinea. The team found that most of the eggshells found at the sites were all near maturity—suggesting they were hatched, not eaten.

The first oviraptor fossil—from a family of dinosaurs with parrotlike beaks—was discovered in Mongolia in the 1920s, lying near a nest of eggs thought to belong to a rival. Paleontologists at the time assumed that the animal had died while attempting to plunder the nest and named the creature “egg thief.”

It wasn’t until the 1990s that its reputation was restored when another discovery revealed that the eggs were its own. Subsequent finds, including an oviraptosaur hunched over 24 eggs made public last year, have revealed that this particular type of dinosaur was a doting parent.

At least seven of the 24 eggs preserved the bones of partial embryos found inside; it was the first time a fossil had preserved this level of detail. These embryos were at a late stage of development, and the close proximity of the parent confirmed that this dinosaur really did incubate its nest like its modern bird cousins.

The neat layout of oviraptor nests also suggested that they were brooders that sat upon eggs to hatch them—even giant oviraptors that weighed 1,500 kilograms (3,307 pounds) and laid half-meter long eggs, said Darla Zelenitsky, a dinosaur egg expert and associate professor in the department of geoscience at the University of Calgary in Canada.

“These fossils also show very precisely arranged eggs, stacked in rings, probably optimized for sitting on the eggs,” she explained.

The 2-meter-wide (6.6-foot-wide) nests of giant oviraptors were a slightly modified shape to stop them from being crushed, she added.

Dinosaurs eggs—including one with a perfectly preserved baby dinosaur curled up inside—increasingly show that birds inherited many characteristics from dinosaurs. Not all dinosaurs, however, were caring parents.

Pores on the surface of eggs allow the diffusion of water, oxygen and carbon dioxide, and the orientation, density and number of pores on the eggs of living animals can reveal whether they are laid in open nests or underground. Applying this knowledge to fossilized dinosaur eggs has shed light on their nesting behavior.

Analysis suggests that many dinosaurs, including hulking plant-eating sauropods, laid their eggs underground in burrows, more like reptiles.

A string of modern ostrich eggshell beads from eastern Africa is shown.

Ostrich eggshells are found in archaeological dig sites throughout Africa. Early humans used the large eggs as water bottles and, for tens of thousands of years, ancient humans took the remains and fashioned them into decorative beads that are still made today.

These beads have been found all over Africa—including in areas where ostriches never lived – sparking the question of how they got there.

The answer is hidden in the eggs’ geochemistry. Researchers looked at the signatures of different isotopes or variants of the element strontium in the beads—these vary depending on where the ostriches would have fed before laying the eggs.

Older rock formations including granite are found to have more strontium than younger rocks like basalt, and this is reflected in the vegetation that grows around them.

The geochemistry of the beads showed they traveled long distances. They were traded or exchanged in what was described as an early social network.

Eggs are a big part of our diet today – something that was also true in the Stone Age.

In fact, ancient Australians’ appetite for the eggs laid by the 2-meter-tall (6-foot-tall) Genyornis could have been one significant reason why the large, flightless birds went extinct 47,000 years ago.

Burn patterns on eggshell fragments of the giant bird found at around 200 sites across Australia, were created by humans discarding eggshell in and around makeshift fires, presumably made to cook the eggs.

Chemical signatures of nitrogen and carbon isotopes in fossilized egg shells can also track vegetation changes, gleaning information about past changes in climate, which can reveal ecological shifts that could impact the survival of these species over time.

A study of emu eggshells found across Australia over a 100,000-year time period do not show a massive shift in climate that researchers believe could have led to the extinction of Genyornis.

This suggested that the extinction of these giant birds was caused by humans, not ecological changes, the study said.

Fossilized penguin, ostrich and emu eggshells have revealed what the climate was like in the ancient Antarctic, South Africa and Australia. More recent egg collections are revealing how the current climate crisis is changing the natural world today.

By comparing birds’ eggs collected during the Victorian era and modern eggs held by the Field Museum and other institutions, researchers found that several bird species in the Chicago area nest and lay eggs almost a full month earlier now than they did a century ago.

Of the 72 species documented in the data, a third have been nesting earlier and earlier, the team found. Birds that changed their nesting habits laid eggs around 25 days sooner, on average.

Similar patterns are seen in insects, which many birds eat, and plants, suggesting that climate change is already changing ecosystems, the authors of the study said.

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3 messages from Daniel Tiger that teens still need | CNN

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CNN
 — 

While I was playing with my toddler at the park in 2012, another mom told me about a new show that “you have to see”: “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood.” Soon, I was hearing the show’s coping strategy jingles everywhere. How many of us used the song, “When you have to go potty, stop and go right away” to toilet train our kids?

Much of the animated series’ appeal comes from its fidelity to Fred Rogers, who died 20 years ago this week. Rogers’ show “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood,” which ran from 1968 to 2001 on PBS, was a transformative force in children’s media — largely because of the way it focused on children’s emotional development.

While they may no longer have use for Daniel Tiger’s “potty song,” older kids face other challenges. And though the first children who watched the show on PBS are now tweens and teens, the show’s lesson can still help them in the midst of our current mental health crisis.

I recently spoke to show creator Angela Santomero, who said she took Rogers’ beloved wisdom to heart as she “set out to create ‘Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood’ for preschoolers — and for the teens that our first viewers have grown up to be.”

Here are three messages from Daniel Tiger and Rogers that not-so-little kids still need to hear.

Teens need the reminder that simply naming emotions is a powerful mental health strategy. According to research from neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett, people who could “distinguish finely among their unpleasant feelings — those ’50 shades of feeling crappy’ — were 30 percent more flexible when regulating their emotions, less likely to drink excessively when stressed, and less likely to retaliate aggressively against someone who has hurt them.”

“Helping kids of any age to label and express their emotions is one of the key lessons from Fred Rogers,” Santomero said. That’s why so many “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood” episodes pair a single emotion with a strategy song – like anger (“When you feel so mad that you want to roar, take a deep breath and count to four.”) or sadness (“It’s OK to feel sad sometimes. Little by little you’ll feel better again.”).

Finding the right word to express how you are feeling inside isn’t always easy. I spent several years as a middle and high school teacher, and I remember chatting with a teen who said she was “so angry” with her best friend, but she didn’t know why.

Soon we began to talk about the college process, and she revealed that her friend had outscored her on the SAT. What she was really feeling, she realized, was jealousy, self-doubt and worry about the future. Once she could name that, her anger “evaporated.” When you can identify what you are feeling and why, it’s easier to figure out what to do next.

“If kids as young as preschoolers can start learning these strategies, our hope is that once they become teens they will have some tools to deal with hard situations that are mentally challenging,” Santomero said.

Remember all the newness and change your preschoolers faced — and how much they needed your comforting presence? Now think about tweens and teens: Their bodies are changing, their brains go through a second growth spurt, they face social and academic pressures, they are increasingly aware of societal problems, and they are doing the hard work of figuring out their identities and planning for the future.

If there’s one essential message from Rogers that I carry with me both as a parent and educator, it’s this: Don’t worry alone. As he said, “Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting and less scary.”

Adolescent psychologist Lisa Damour says that for teens, strong emotions are “a feature not a bug.” In her new book “The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents,” she writes, “It’s beyond our power to prevent or quickly banish our teens’ psychological pain, nor should that be our goal. We can and should, however, help our teenagers develop ways to regulate their emotions that offer relief and do no harm.” And this starts with listening.

One of my favorite aspects of Daniel Tiger is the way the adults in his life pause to really listen to his concerns. In the show’s very first episode, Daniel’s mom helps him work through his worries about going to the doctor with the song, “When we do something new, let’s talk about what we’ll do.”

Really listening to preschoolers or teens is a skill, said Santomero. It takes practice to “lean in, focus, ask relevant questions, and listen with your whole heart.” This kind of attentive listening “shows how empathetic you are to their situation, how much you care about them, and how important they are to you. And that goes a long way in supporting their mental health.”

One strategy from “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood” that can help parents of teens is “thoughtful pausing,” said Santomero, who is also a co-creator of “Blues Clues.”

Pausing during a conversation or vent session can give teens “time to get their thoughts together and reflect,” Santomero said. “It helps to make sure that it’s a two-way dialogue.” These pauses also open up space for teens to find their own solutions.

When I watched that first season of “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood” with my child, I found myself tearing up more than once because the familiar songs and messages brought back how Rogers made me feel as a young child: special.

We don’t need research to tell us how important unconditional love is for teens — but that data exists, regardless. In a 2014 study in the journal Child Development, researchers found that “parental warmth” amplifies every other effective parenting strategy, from setting boundaries to helping teens “tackle the academic and psychological challenges of secondary school.”

How did researchers measure parental warmth? With survey questions as simple as, “How often do you let your child know you really care about him/her?”

That warmth was a gift Rogers offered children every day when he signed off his show with, “You’ve made this day a special day, by just your being you. There’s no person in the whole world like you, and I like you just the way you are.” Teens need that message — even (maybe especially) when they are pulling away or pushing all our buttons.

One of Santomero’s “all-time favorite Mister Rogers’ moments” is a message he recorded for adults in 2002, shortly before he died. It’s a message that is just as applicable 20 years later as we support the next generation:

“I know how tough it is sometimes to look with hope and confidence on the months and years ahead,” he said. “But I would like to tell you what I often told you when you were much younger: I like you just the way you are. And, what’s more, I’m so grateful to you for helping the children in your life to know that you’ll do everything you can to keep them safe, and to help them express their feelings in ways that will bring healing in many different neighborhoods.”

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Does having a teen feel like living with a chimpanzee? You may not be far off, study shows | CNN

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CNN
 — 

Chimpanzee teens may not be so different from the ones living in our homes, a new study says.

Except that your teen might be more impulsive.

Researchers worked with 40 chimpanzees born in the wild while they were at a sanctuary in the Republic of Congo, playing games that tested the adolescent animals’ orientation toward risk-taking and impulsivity, according to the study published January 23 in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General by the American Psychological Association.

“Human adolescents are grappling with changing bodies and brains, and tend to be more impulsive, risk-seeking, and less able to regulate emotions than adults,” said lead study author Dr. Alexandra Rosati, associate professor of psychology and anthropology at the University of Michigan, via email. “Chimpanzees face many of the same kinds of challenges as humans as they grow up.”

The study described chimpanzees’ adolescence as a period from about ages 8 to 15 in a 50-year life span. Like young humans, they experience rapid hormone changes, new social bonds, increased aggression and a competition for social status.

Teen chimpanzees are overlooked in studies compared with infants and adults, said Dr. Aaron Sandel, an assistant professor of anthropology at the University of Texas at Austin, who was not involved in the current study.

“For a while there was a pretty big gap in the literature on (chimpanzee) adolescents,” Sandel said, noting that researchers often don’t focus on this period. Scientists may avoid studying teen chimps because their own human experiences with teenage years are complicated, he said.

The new study found that adolescent chimpanzees were more likely to take risks in their games than their adult counterparts, but they just as likely would wait for a greater delayed reward.

But human teens are known to be more likely to take a smaller, more immediate reward, the study noted.

The chimpanzees underwent two tests with food rewards. These animals tended to dislike cucumbers while liking peanuts somewhat and loving bananas.

The first test involved a bit of a gamble. Both adult and teen chimpanzees were asked to choose between two containers: one that always had peanuts and another that had either the dreaded cucumber or treasured banana, the study said.

The adolescent chimps were more likely to take a risk and go for the cucumber or banana container than the adults, the study said. Both groups showed similar negative reactions – such as moaning, whimpering, screaming and banging on the table – when they ended up with a cucumber.

The second test resembled a well-known one that has been given to human children. Chimpanzees had the option of having one banana slice immediately or waiting for a minute and then getting three slices.

Both adults and adolescents waited for the three slices at a similar rate, but the teens were more likely to throw a fit while they waited a minute, the study said.

In a similar test, human teens were more likely to take the smaller treat right away, according to the study.

“Prior work indicates that chimpanzees are quite patient compared to other animals, and this study shows that their ability to delay gratification is already mature at a fairly young age, unlike in humans,” Rosati said.

Sandel noted that it is important to be careful about comparing the experience of humans with other animals. While primates are our closest relatives, we are different species, he pointed out.

So how might a parent handle a teen who engages in risky behavior and hates to wait for a reward?

The first step is to understand what is going on in their developing brains, said Dr. Hina Talib, an adolescent medicine specialist and associate professor of pediatrics at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York City.

“I think teenagers get a bad rap,” she said. “We often think of them as risky little devils. It does come from some element of truth.”

The human teenage years are a time of explosive growth and development, she added.

Their brains are wired to seek out new experiences and information, which often means taking risks, Talib said.

At this time, they can try new things, build their ideas of who they are and try on different identities, said Tina Bryson, a Pasadena, California, therapist and author of “The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired.”

They learn from the information they gain, which can help them manage their behavior better – eventually, Talib said.

Families can encourage them to try new things, she said, while providing ground rules and support that will help keep them safe.

“We want you to go anywhere and do everything … Here is where we might step in or where we have house rules about something,’” Talib recommended that parents say. Your conversations should be “coming from a perspective of we are here as the floor, as the safety net as you go and have these amazing trapeze experiences.”

And while their brains are growing a lot, not every area is able to be fully and optimally utilized at the same time.

Late middle and early high schoolers might be relying on the parts of the brain that rule emotion and reactivity, she added, while their decision-making and reasoning parts are busy growing.

That doesn’t mean that teens are not capable of good decision-making and long-term planning, she added – you just have to help set them up for success.

“When things are calm, they are able to problem solve just as well as adults,” Talib said. Help them stay calm when they are in trouble and need to solve a problem and save the difficult conversations for when they are no longer stressed out, she added.

Instead of worrying about how to get rid of their impulsivity, Bryson recommended finding ways to help strengthen empathetic, thoughtful, and reasoned decision-making.

Encourage them to pause before acting and walk through the thinking process with them, she said. You can also talk through how you think through your own decisions, Bryson said.

And while their brains may be undergoing changes, be sure to call out the things they are doing well, Talib said.

“The more you do that, the more you help them see themselves in a positive light, the more that gets hardwired in them,” she said, “and they are better able to face the world around them.”

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Millions have the same ‘bendy body’ disease as my daughter. Why isn’t the medical profession paying more attention? | CNN

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CNN
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One day in July 2021, my then 15-year-old daughter Poppy stumbled and fell while walking down some stairs, grazing her knee. It wasn’t a serious wound, but over the weeks it didn’t heal.

Around the same time, her wrists and knees became sore; her ankles started rolling when she walked; her hands began shaking; her headaches and stomach aches became more frequent and intensely painful. She was always exhausted.

Before her health declined, Poppy had enjoyed horse riding and gymnastics, she’d competed in cross country races and been a fearless goalkeeper for the school hockey team.

But within a couple of months, as walking became increasingly difficult, she asked me for a walking stick. We found one that folds up and fits neatly in her school bag.

I took Poppy to doctors who conducted tests, but they couldn’t find out what was wrong with her. Then, in October, a breakthrough.

A podiatrist who was measuring Poppy for insoles to support her aching feet asked if Poppy could bend her thumb to reach her forearm. She could. Could she pull her little finger back to form a 90-degree angle with the back of her hand? She could do that, too.

“Have you heard of Ehlers-Danlos syndrome?” the podiatrist asked me. I hadn’t – so as soon as I got home, I went looking on the internet.

There are 13 types of Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS), according to research and advocacy organization The Ehlers-Danlos Society. Most types are very rare, and can be diagnosed using genetic tests. However, the genes that cause hypermobile EDS (hEDS) – the most common form, accounting for about 90% of cases – are unknown, so diagnosis is based on a checklist of symptoms. The list includes a hypermobility rating, known as the Beighton Score.

Poppy had enough symptoms to qualify for hEDS, and the diagnosis was confirmed by a doctor one year ago, on Christmas Eve. He told us that although we can do our best to alleviate some symptoms, there is no cure.

Poppy reacted to the news better than I did. She had known for some time that something was fundamentally wrong. The diagnosis was upsetting but identifying her illness also gave her a sense of relief. I felt shocked and overwhelmed, and I cried for weeks.

Reading about EDS was like a dreadful slow reveal.

I learned that it’s a genetic disorder that causes the body to make faulty connective tissue, and connective tissue is everywhere – in the tendons, ligaments, skin, heart, digestive system, eyes and gums.

Weak connective tissue leads to hypermobility, which may sound like a good thing, but some people with bendy bodies suffer a mind-boggling array of symptoms, including joint dislocations and subluxations (like a mini dislocation, when the joint partially slips out of place), soft stretchy skin, abnormal scarring, poor wound healing, gastrointestinal disorders, chronic pain and fatigue.

The severity of symptoms varies wildly. Patients with milder cases can lead relatively normal lives, while others become housebound, and some can’t digest food and must be fed through tubes.

What’s more, people with hEDS are prone to other conditions, including POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, which makes you dizzy when you stand up) and MCAS (mast cell activation syndrome, which gives you allergy-type symptoms).

I learned a lot of new acronyms and they all spelled bad news.

I initially thought hEDS was rare, because all forms of EDS are commonly referred to as rare. But within a few weeks, I felt like I was seeing references to hEDS everywhere. Actor, writer and director Lena Dunham; actor and presenter Jameela Jamil; and drag queen Yvie Oddly live with it. I deep dived into EDS Twitter and EDS Instagram, while Poppy found it comforting to watch TikTok videos made by teenagers with the condition.

I discovered multiple patient groups on Facebook, each with tens of thousands of members, which turned out to be great sources of support. I asked questions (what kind of shoes are best for weak ankles? Which knee braces are easiest to pull on and off?) and kind strangers sent helpful advice. At the same time, scrolling through countless personal stories of pain, despair and shattered dreams made me feel terrified about what might lie ahead.

I noticed common themes. Many EDS patients had spent years seeking the correct diagnosis; others felt they’d been neglected and gaslit by doctors.

There was also a lot of talk of zebras.

Linda Bluestein, a Colorado-based physician who specializes in EDS and other hypermobility conditions, and has hEDS herself, explains why.

“I was told in medical school, ‘when you hear hoofbeats think horses, not zebras,’” she says. Many trainee doctors receive the same advice – when a patient presents with symptoms, “look for the common thing.” That’s why EDS patients commonly refer to themselves as zebras – and also use the fabulous collective noun “dazzle.” The name represents rarity and evokes the stripy stretch marks that are a common feature on EDS skin.

But if people with hEDS are medical zebras, why am I encountering so many of them?

Bluestein says that for many years it was thought that one in 5,000 people had Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. But she says the limited research that’s been carried out into the prevalence of hEDS suggests the true number of cases is “much, much higher” than that.

Dr. Linda Bluestein has treated hEDS patients who have been searching for a diagnosis for decades.

Bluestein points me to a 2019 study carried out in Wales – a country of 3.1 million people. An examination of primary care and hospital records from 1990 to 2017 found that one in 500 people there has either hEDS or joint hypermobility syndrome (a similar condition with a slightly different set of symptoms). She says it’s “a good study” but believes it’s still an underestimate. The Ehlers-Danlos Society says more population studies need to be done to give a more accurate view of its incidence elsewhere.

But despite this possible prevalence, and how debilitating hypermobility disorders can be, the average time to diagnosis from the onset of symptoms is 10 to 12 years, according to The Ehlers-Danlos Society.

Bluestein has firsthand experience of this. Growing up, she wanted to become a ballet dancer and trained six days a week. When puberty hit, she started experiencing joint pain and migraines, and at 16 had her first orthopedic surgery. She realized she wouldn’t succeed in the ballet world and instead pursued her “back-up plan,” to become a doctor. But despite her career choice, Bluestein only received her hEDS diagnosis when she was 47 – more than 30 years later.

“I told my doctor on numerous occasions, ‘there is something wrong with me, I don’t heal well, I get injured more easily than other people’,” she says. “And he just never, never listened.”

Why, for so many patients, does it take so long to get diagnosed?

In 2014 a leading EDS expert, Professor Rodney Grahame, remarked at a conference that “no other disease in the history of modern medicine has been neglected in such a way as Ehlers-Danlos syndrome.”

Far more women than men are diagnosed with EDS, which could help to explain the neglect, because the medical profession has a long history of overlooking health complaints made by women.

A 2009 study, conducted by the European Organisation for Rare Diseases, surveyed 414 families of EDS patients from five countries and found that the average delay to an EDS diagnosis was four years for men – but 16 years for women.

The report states that women with EDS tend to be “diagnosed later because their pain and hypotonia (poor muscle tone) aren’t considered as physical symptoms but rather as psychological symptoms or common complaints.”

“We tend to get dismissed a lot more easily,” says Bluestein. “People jump to the conclusion that we’re histrionic females.”

Anxiety is very common in patients with hypermobility issues, says Bluestein, which can cloud the picture. “When people with anxiety present to a physician, it can suck all the air out of the room, so that the physician almost can’t see anything else.”

This can ramp up the patient’s anxiety further “because people aren’t validating our symptoms, and then we start to doubt ourselves,” she says.

What’s more, medicine is divided into silos which creates the “worst possible model” for EDS patients, says Bluestein.

VIDEO THUMBNAIL Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome 1

‘We’re born with this and will never be free:’ Hear stories from people with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome

She explains that undiagnosed patients might consult a neurologist for their migraines, a rheumatologist for joint pain, a cardiologist for palpitations, a gastroenterologist for digestive issues and a urologist for bladder symptoms. Each doctor focuses on the symptoms that fall within their specialty but doesn’t consider the other ailments. “Nowhere along the way does somebody realize that there are certain conditions that could tie all of these things together and explain everything,” says Bluestein.

The 2009 rare diseases study found that during the quest for a diagnosis, 58% of EDS patients consulted more than five doctors, and 20% consulted more than 20.

The consequences of not getting diagnosed for years can be devastating.

Melissa Dickinson, a psychotherapist in Atlanta, Georgia, says she experienced symptoms of a “mystery illness” since childhood. Then in 2013, she “went on honeymoon to Mexico, relatively healthy, and came back disabled and with a dislocated neck.”

While on vacation, Dickinson says she got food poisoning and was prescribed ciprofloxacin, an antibiotic that can pose a serious risk of aortic aneurysm to people with EDS. Instead, she says it triggered significant nerve damage, digestive issues that almost made her go blind because her body wasn’t absorbing nutrients, and put her in a wheelchair.

Dickinson, who finally received her hEDS diagnosis in 2014, says taking the wrong medication “wrecked me from head to toe.” Now that she’s receiving treatment, “I can walk with mobility aids, but most of my body has to have constant support to function.”

Lara Bloom, president and CEO of The Ehlers-Danlos Society, who herself has hEDS, says many patients have “medicalized PTSD.”

“They have had to stop their careers, they’ve had to drop out of school, their relationships have broken down.” The delay inevitably results in worsening symptoms and a declining quality of life, she says. In worst-case scenarios, patients “are dying by suicide, they’re self-harming.”

Sometimes, the failure to diagnose EDS has led to children being taken away from their parents.

In 2010, Americans Rana Tyson and her husband Chad were falsely accused of harming their 4-week-old twin daughters, who had unexplained fractures in their legs.

Along with their older sister, the baby girls were taken by state authorities in Texas and sent to live with relatives. “It was the worst day of my life,” Tyson tells me in a phone call.

Five months later, a geneticist identified the twins as having a connective tissue disorder, and they were subsequently diagnosed with EDS and a vitamin D deficiency. The family was reunited but “12 years later, it still hurts,” says Tyson.

Bloom says some other parents of children with EDS have been wrongly accused of “fabricated or induced illness (FII)” – a rare form of abuse, formerly known as Munchausen’s syndrome by proxy, in which a parent or care giver deliberately causes symptoms or tries to convince doctors that a healthy child is ill.

Ellie Pattison, who has hEDS, has been repeatedly misdiagnosed as having an eating disorder.

Ellie Pattison, a 19-year-old student who lives in County Durham, England, suffers from severe digestive issues linked to hEDS.

Throughout her childhood, Ellie was repeatedly misdiagnosed as having an eating disorder, she says, while her mother Caroline was accused of FII on three separate occasions. Caroline successfully fought to keep her daughter at home, says Ellie, but the ordeal has left the whole family with “an unimaginable amount of trauma.” Ellie says she suffered from PTSD and endured years of horrific nightmares, triggered by living with the fear from a young age that she could be forcibly separated from her family.

This underlines why prompt diagnosis is so important, says Bloom. “Our hope and dream is for people to get diagnosed when their symptoms begin.”

In the case of hEDS, a crucial first step is to find out what causes it.

Cortney Gensemer, a biomedical scientist in the Norris Lab at the Medical University of South Carolina’s department of Regenerative Medicine and Cell Biology, is trying to solve this mystery. She and research mentor Russell Norris, head of the lab, have been studying a gene mutation they believe causes hEDS (the results of the study are currently under peer review).

Like Poppy, Gensemer was diagnosed with hEDS as a teenager. She says the disease affects every aspect of her work. Looking down a microscope is particularly painful at times – her neck is unstable because of her hEDS, and she’s had metal screws put into some of her neck vertebrae to fuse them.

Cortney Gensemer working in the Norris Lab and recovering from neck surgery earlier this year.

Norris kitted the lab out with special equipment, including motion sensor doors (standard lab doors are very heavy), adjustable chairs and ergonomic pipettes that are gentle on the hands. “If I didn’t have all that stuff, I don’t think I’d be able to do it,” says Gensemer.

To find a hEDS-causing gene, Gensemer says she and Norris sampled DNA from a large family with cases spanning four generations and looked for a mutation that appears only in relatives who have the disease. They identified a “strong candidate gene” and inserted it into mice using gene editing tools.

Gensemer and Norris found that the hEDS mice had significantly more lax tissues, and floppier tails than regular rodents. “You can tie a loose knot into the mutant mouse tail. With a normal mouse tail, you can (only) bend it into a circle,” Gensemer says.

The gene that Gensemer and Norris found won’t account for all hEDS cases, she says. They believe that eventually multiple genes will be identified, and hEDS may be split into different subtypes. This would help to explain why different patients have different symptoms. Crucially, if genetic information sheds light on how the connective tissue is “messed up,” it could lead to effective treatments, says Gensemer.

The Ehlers-Danlos Society is also looking for genes as well as blood markers, working with a team of experts to sequence and analyze the DNA of 1,000 hEDS patients from around the world. And at the UK’s University of Warwick, Ph.D. candidate Sabeeha Malek, another scientist with hEDS, has proposed that EDS might be caused by a fault in the way that collagen binds to cell membranes in connective tissue. If she’s right, she hopes her work will lead to a skin biopsy test that could identify all forms of the disease.

Sabeeha Malek is working to identify biomarkers that could make EDS diagnosis easier.

Progress is being made but on a very small scale. “If you look at any major academic institution, there are multiple labs studying cancer, multiple labs studying heart disease. When you look at a disease that affects one in 500 people, and probably more than that, there should be a lab studying it at every single academic institution,” says Gensemer.

Gensemer hopes that as more discoveries are made and data is accumulated it will “change the way the medical community looks at the disease” – and that it will be taken more seriously.

A year has passed since Poppy’s diagnosis. The initial shock has subsided, and while I’m still grieving the loss of her health, we’ve both learned to accept our new reality and have adjusted to living with EDS.

I’ve assembled a team of supportive doctors and therapists and acquired an arsenal of paraphernalia to fight pain and manage symptoms, including braces and kinesiology tape to hold her joints in place; ice packs, heat pads, tiger balm and arnica gel for sore muscles; and a cupboard full of medications and supplements.

With Poppy often stuck at home, I also got her a giant kitten that she calls Bagel, and he provides the best therapy.

Poppy with Bagel.

Writing this article has taught me a lot more about EDS: It’s been upsetting to report on the terrible experiences some have suffered, but I’ve been awestruck by the dedication of people, many with the condition themselves, who are working to find solutions.

I don’t know what the future holds for Poppy. Some patients’ symptoms improve with age; others experience an increase in pain and a loss of mobility. I’ve learned there’s a limit to what we can control but there’s a lot we can do, to tackle symptoms and make life easier. And I believe that change is coming.

With a better understanding of the condition and diagnostic tools on the horizon, my biggest hope is that there will be a cure one day – and that it will come in time for Poppy.

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5 New Year’s resolutions for your dog and cat | CNN

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CNN
 — 

You may be spending a good bit of time right now finalizing — and, of course, implementing — your resolutions for the new year. Congratulations! Focusing on a happy and healthy lifestyle is a huge investment in your future.

But have you thought about what might be optimal for your best friend and furry companion? Here are some new year’s resolutions experts say can benefit you and your pet.

If your pet went on an unplanned walkabout, would your neighbors be able to call you or bring them home? Identification tags are inexpensive and available at most pet stores. Even better: The more permanent form of identification, a microchip, cannot fall off or be removed and can be a lifesaver if your pet wanders farther from home.

America is in the midst of an obesity crisis, and it’s affecting our dogs and cats. Too many pets today are overweight, said Dr. Dana Varble, chief veterinary officer of the North American Veterinary Community.

“If your dog or cat was to speak to you, he or she might admit that they are getting too many treats. ‘It is getting awfully hard to catch my breath when we play ball and my hips and knees are starting to ache,’ your dog might say.

“Your cat might give you a dirty look for allowing the vet to check their weight, and will certainly blame any extra pounds on you. ‘The fact that you give in every time I yowl, purr, or rub your legs isn’t helping my weight problem,’ your cat might say,’” Varble added.

Instead of acquiescing to those plaintive meows or soulful eyes, Varble suggests reducing the amount of food you give at any one meal or feeding. Instead, provide a smaller amount at set times throughout the day to help your pet lose a few pounds.

“Do you really think there’s enough room for you?” — Delilah, a 10-year-old Siberian husky.
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Lynx (top) and Luna (bottom) are 2-year-old Siberian Forest cats.” class=”image_gallery-image__dam-img image_gallery-image__dam-img–loading” onload=’this.classList.remove(‘image_gallery-image__dam-img–loading’)’ height=”1125″ width=”2000″/>

Dogs and cats who share their human's bed tend to have a

Banshee, a 6-year-old Husky mix, is a rescue who survived heartworms.” class=”image_gallery-image__dam-img image_gallery-image__dam-img–loading” onload=’this.classList.remove(‘image_gallery-image__dam-img–loading’)’ height=”1500″ width=”2000″/>

Mason, a 3-year-old lab mix, loves to sleep next to his dad every night but hates covers.” class=”image_gallery-image__dam-img image_gallery-image__dam-img–loading” onload=’this.classList.remove(‘image_gallery-image__dam-img–loading’)’ height=”1125″ width=”2000″/>

“What? I don’t snore!” — Luna, a 2-year-old Siberian Forest cat.
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Molly (left), a 15-year-old cockapoo mix, likes to sleep in her human’s armpit, while Evie (right) prefers the end of the bed and hates to be woken up early.” class=”image_gallery-image__dam-img image_gallery-image__dam-img–loading” onload=’this.classList.remove(‘image_gallery-image__dam-img–loading’)’ height=”900″ width=”1600″/>

Evie, a 4-year-old Jack Russell terrier mix, has been known to crawl onto her human if she needs more affection.” class=”image_gallery-image__dam-img image_gallery-image__dam-img–loading” onload=’this.classList.remove(‘image_gallery-image__dam-img–loading’)’ height=”1358″ width=”2000″/>

A dog who sleeps at the end of the bed with their face toward the door might have a more protective personality, Varble said.</p><p>

Is sleeping with your pets good for them?


Exercise is good for both you and your pet, Varble said. That’s easily achieved with a dog: Nearly every dog would benefit from at least two walks a day, or a good chase after a ball or Frisbee, she said.

“You need the fresh air, and your dog needs to be able to check out all the smells in the neighborhood, which keeps their minds busy and their body tired,” Varble said.

How do you exercise a cat? Some people put their fuzzy felines on a leash and go for a walk. But if that’s not for you, “find more interactive toys for your cat to chase,” Varble said. “Remember, toys are like prey. Your cat is still an ancient predator.”

Energize your cat by enticing it to catch that

Interactive toys don’t have to be expensive. A toilet paper roll, a paper bag, a crinkled ball of foil or a string you trail behind you will excite the hunter in your domesticated kitty as much as the most expensive interactive toy.

Tie feathers to the end of a stick, swing it through the air and watch your cat leap.

And of course no cat can resist the allure of an empty box, especially one that turns out to have an unexpected treat or toy in it. Consider all the memes of cats sitting in boxes; even lions, tigers and other big cats find the habit irresistible.

Both dogs and cats can benefit from mental exercise as well. Food puzzles are a great way to keep your pet’s mind engaged. The internet is full of such items to purchase, but it’s also full of DIY examples you can easily make on your own.

Cut circles in the top of a shoebox and drop in treats for your cat to fish out. Roll some treats up in a towel for your dog to unravel. Cut small holes in a toilet paper roll, put treats inside and tape up the ends — voila, you have a rolling treat dispenser. Or do the same with a plastic bottle.

(Wouldn’t coming up with these ideas also be a good human brain game?)

You like to shower and style your hair, right? A good brushing stimulates blood flow to your scalp and distributes natural oils, making your hair shine with health. Your dog and cat benefit from daily brushing — and an occasional bath — too. (Your couch will also thank you.)

Take it a step further and brush your pet’s teeth. Yes, cats need their teeth brushed too. Start when your pet is a puppy or kitten and you’ll have no issues, but with some patience you can ease your adult pet into the process too, experts say.

Periodontal disease, which is inflammation of the gums and bone that support your pet’s teeth, has been linked to an increased risk of heart disease in dogs. And because the kidneys and liver filter bacteria from the mouth that’s circulating in the blood, those organs are especially vulnerable to damage.

“Following a good oral care routine, including brushing teeth and regular dental evaluation with your veterinarian, can prevent these serious consequences,” Varble said.

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Biodiversity: ‘A victim of global warming and one of the major tools to fight against it’

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After the COP27 climate conference, representatives from around the world gathered in Montreal this week for the COP15 meeting dedicated to biodiversity. Scientists say leaders face a crucial challenge: agreeing on a common way forward to safeguard biodiversity by 2030 in order to preserve plant and animal life and help combat climate imbalance. 

Wildlife populations have fallen by 69 percent globally in the past 50 years, the World Wildlife Fund (WWF) said in an October 2022 report. At the same time, land degradation – including deforestation, soil erosion and loss of natural areas – now affects up to 40 percent of the Earth’s land and half of humanity, according to the UN. These alarming figures are the backdrop for the COP15 conference on biodiversity that began on December 7 in Montreal with an ambitious objective: to agree a new global framework for safeguarding the natural world. 

“The stakes are crucially high: we are currently living through a biodiversity crisis,” says Philippe Grandcolas, entomologist and research director at France’s National Centre for Scientific Research (CNRS). “Biodiversity is essential to human survival. It ensures that we can feed ourselves, have access to drinking water, and it plays a major role in our health. But, above all, biodiversity plays an indispensable role in the stability of the planet.” 

At present, 70 percent of ecosystems around the world are in a state of degradation, largely due to human activity – a rate of decline described as “unprecedented and dangerous” by the Intergovernmental Science-Policy Platform on Biodiversity and Ecosystem Services (IPBES). 

In addition, more than 1 million species are threatened with extinction. Vertebrates, which include mammals, fish, birds, reptiles and amphibians and make up five percent of all animal species, are especially under threat. “Our previous report found that there had been a 68 percent fall among the total [vertebrate] population [over 50 years],” says Pierre Cannet, director of advocacy and campaigns at WWF France. In 2022 that figure has risen to 69 percent. “Losing one percent in two years is massive. For species that already have small populations, it could mean extinction.”

Climate imbalance: A growing threat 

According to the IPBES, the most significant driving factor of the ”biodiversity crisis” is change in how land is used and fragmentation of natural space, most often due to agriculture. This is followed by overfishing, hunting and poaching. There is a tie for third place between climate imbalance, pollution and invasive species. 

“In the majority of cases there are multiple factors at play,” says Grandcolas. “But climate imbalance is becoming the most significant threat. The more it escalates, the more it disturbs ecosystems and has an impact on flora and fauna.” 

There are plenty of examples of this impact. In the past 30 years elephant populations in African forests have fallen by 86 percent. The main causes are poaching and black market trade, causing the death of 20,000 to 30,000 elephants per year, according to the WWF. But repeated cycles of drought and flood are also having an impact on access to fresh water – a vital resource for the species as each animal consumes around 150 to 200 litres per day. Without it their survival is at risk. 

Similarly, leatherback sea turtles in Suriname have seen their populations fall by 95 percent in 20 years. This is due in part to destruction of their habitat caused by human intervention and illegal fishing. But climate instability is also disrupting their reproduction rates as sea level rise has destroyed and disrupted turtle nesting beaches. 

A leatherback turtle (Dermochelys coriacea) digging a nest on the beach in Trinidad. © Konrad Wothe, WWF

Mass deaths 

“Currently there are a few species that are classed having climate change as the reason for their extinction,” says Camille Parmesan, research director at CNRS and author of the first report of its kind on the links between climate change and biodiversity, produced by IPBES and the UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) in 2021. Yet this is the reason for the demise of the Bramble Cay melomys: “a species of little rodent that lived on the small islands between Australia and Papua New Guinea. Scientists proved that their disappearance was due to their habitat being submerged [by the sea],” Parmesan says.

“We have also noted the disappearance of 92 amphibian species, killed by the growth of a type of fungus. We have proof that it developed due to climate instability which modified ecosystems and created the right conditions for it to thrive.” 

The number of species that are officially classed as having died out due to climate instability may be low, but increasing extreme weather events are causing mass deaths among mammals, birds, fish and trees. “In Australia, we counted 45,000 flying fox deaths [a type of bat] in a single day during a heatwave”, Parmesan says. In France, record summer heat in 2022 caused temperatures in the Mediterranean Sea to rise to levels that killed thousands of fish and shellfish. 

>> Biodiversity: Ocean ‘dead zones’ are proliferating due to global warming

Yet, disappearing species is not the only consequence of climate change. “We can also add behaviour changes, notably migrations induced by climate modifications,” Parmesan adds. “Certain species try to move to [new] habitats that are more favourable but this can cause even more disruption in ecosystems.” 

Biodiverse carbon storage 

Shrinking biodiversity also has multiple consequences on human life. In some parts of the world it can disrupt economies reliant on fishing or hunting and negatively impact the tourism industry. 

“It’s a vicious circle. Biodiversity is a victim of global warming, but it is also one of the major tools to fight against it”, says Sébastien Barot, researcher at French public research institution Institut de recherche pour le développement (IRD).  

From plant life to animal species, individual elements of the natural world all contribute to regulating and supporting the environment as a whole. Bardot says, “water and earth play a role in filtering pollution, and bumblebees are essential for plant reproduction”.

But when one element is compromised the rest can suffer too. “The survival of the planet depends on a fine balance,” says Grandcolas. “Imagine a group of frogs suddenly die in a habitat. As insignificant as that may seem, it will have an impact: by disappearing they modify the conditions of the environment. This could allow other species to develop, damage plant life and lead to progressive destruction of the ecosystem, which will then no longer be able to play its role as a climate regulator.” 

Nowhere is this more evident that with carbon storage. Scientists estimate that the earth and sea currently absorb almost 50 percent of C02 created by human activity.  “Forests, wetlands, mangrove swamps and even deep water are real C02 sinks. When they disappear, emissions are released into the atmosphere,” Barot says.  

Consequently, “when we see a forest burn, we are watching a carbon sink disappear”, says Grandcolas. In this way, “[the presence of] plant life has an obvious impact on the climate.” 

Two crises, one solution? 

Experts agree on the need to tackle both the climate crisis and the biodiversity crisis at the same time. “We tend to treat them as separate entities, but they go hand in hand,” says Grandcolas. “They should be seen as a joint struggle with equal importance. For this to happen, we need to give nature the space it deserves.” 

Scientists and the WWF have called for more nature-based solutions for both issues. One of the most prominent is increasing protected habitats, which currently make up 17 percent of land and eight percent of ocean globally. “We need to increase that to 30-50 percent of the planet,” says Grandcolas. A significant step towards this goal, he adds, would be better global policies for fighting deforestation as preserving forests has the potential to both protect biodiversity and reduce greenhouse gas emissions. 

“There are also many things to consider in terms of agriculture,” says Barot. “We need agriculture systems that are more durable such as developing agroecology and agroforestry. We can improve how cultivated land is managed and limit use of fertilizer … which would help both biodiversity and the climate.”

“Protection alone is no longer enough; 70 percent of land is now in a degraded state,” Parmesan adds. “It is essential to put stronger policies in place for restoring ecosystems. That would enable us to recreate habitats for animals and plants, and the climate benefits would follow.” For this to be successful a holistic approach is needed. “There’s no point planting trees purely to compensate for carbon emissions,” Parmesan says. “It needs to be done with respect for balance in the ecosystem. Big plantations filled with monocultures are not good for biodiversity or for the climate because they are more vulnerable to climate risks.” 

The three scientists estimate that nature-based solutions could provide around a third of necessary climate mitigation measures even if other steps, such as reducing greenhouse gas emissions, must come from changes in human behaviour. 

Many such solutions are up for discussion at the COP15 biodiversity conference. Even so, other issues – namely money – may dominate. Supported by 22 other countries, Brazil has requested that rich nations provide “at least $100 billion per year until 2030” to developing countries in order to finance nature protection initiatives. The request is yet to receive a response.  

This article was adapted from the original in French. 

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It feels like dogs know just when we need them most. Well, they might, experts say | CNN

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Editor’s Note: Sign up for CNN’s Stress, But Less newsletter. Our six-part mindfulness guide will inform and inspire you to reduce stress while learning how to harness it.



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 — 

When a family arrived at Koch Funeral Home in State College, Pennsylvania, to identify a loved one before cremation, Monroe took note — staying back to maintain the people’s privacy but ready to offer comfort if asked.

Monroe isn’t a grief counselor or therapist. She’s an Australian Shepherd and resident therapy dog at the funeral home, said Jackie Naginey Hook, a celebrant and end-of-life doula there.

“She has this affinity toward people who might be experiencing grief,” Hook said. “She is drawn to them.”

Sure enough, when members of the family came out, they saw Monroe and asked to say hello, Hook said. Petting her opened them up to telling others about their loss.

Some research has suggested that dogs — whether trained therapy and service animals or just friends in our homes — have a positive impact on human lives, said Colleen Dell, the research chair in One Health and Wellness and professor at the University of Saskatchewan.

Just 10 minutes spent with a dog helped reduce patients’ pain, according to a March study for which Dell served as lead author.

People often don’t talk about what they’re going through when grieving, Hook said. The process of mourning is as unique to a person as a fingerprint, and many don’t know how to be there for others who are going through it, she added.

For many people, dogs can offer intuitive, unconditional and loving support in times of grief, Dell said.

“We don’t give them the credit that’s due,” Dell said of the animals that provide needed support. “We don’t understand them to the extent that we should. When you start to pull it apart, there’s just so much going on there.”

There are nuances to what people need when mourning a loved one, but generally family and friends should be present, offer hugs and listen without saying too much, Hook said.

It sounds like a perfect job for a dog.

“Healthy healing is really about giving yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling,” Hook said. “Our bodies know how to heal from a cut, and we know how to deal with this, too.”

Luckily for us, dogs don’t judge or have expectations, Dell said.

If someone has developed a strong bond and relationship with a dog, the animal is often able to intuit the emotions of those it loves, Dell said. It can mean the dog knows when to offer a gentle cuddle, she said.

“When we lose a significant other … so many people say that coming home at the end of the day, coming home to an empty house is just hard,” Hook said. “Having a dog there to greet you can make a difference.”

Or a dog can bring a little distraction with a bid for a game of fetch or a walk outside.

“Getting up and going on a walk when you are grieving is incredibly difficult,” Dell said. “They are really good at living in the moment. That takes us away from thinking in the past or even too much in the future.

“They want to go on a walk now; they want to play now.”

When grieving and considering a dog, it’s important to think about how the animal would fit into your life and vice versa, Dell said.

“The relationship we have with an animal is different than that which we have with a human,” Dell said. There are more benefits in some ways but also more drawbacks, she added.

It’s a win-win situation when a dog can provide support and the owner can give the proper amount of care and attention, Dell said. But it helps to do your homework to find the right match and be prepared to make a long-term commitment.

Having a dog can sometimes cause extra stress if it is going to be an added strain on time or financial resources to get veterinary care, a sitter for when you are away and training, Dell said.

Dedicating time to learn how to train your dog can help it get the attention it wants and help you get more insight into building a solid bond that benefits you both, she added.

If you are looking for a dog to keep you outside and active, look for a breed with a lot of energy. If you are busy but want a companion, maybe find a canine more inclined toward naps. If you travel, a carry-on size pooch is the way to go, Dell said.

Often people grieving may find their patience lower — in which case consider a dog two years or older to avoid puppy antics, she added.

Often dogs become available through foster care after the death of an owner, Dell said. “What a beautiful thing that would be,” she said about fostering an animal. “You’d really be helping each other.”

But there are still ways to get the benefits from a furry friend without taking on any responsibility, Dell said.

A pet belonging to a neighbor or family member can offer cuddles and play, she added. Or you can spend time in parks where dogs play or venues where therapy dogs might visit.

“(Grieving people) need to feel loved,” Dell said. “These dogs (are) able to provide that in ways that have no strings attached.”

Volunteering with a shelter or rescue group can also bring joy, she said. Just spending time caring for dogs or taking them on a walk can make a huge difference, Dell added.

“You’re doing those things that are normal, that you never, ever think will feel normal again,” she said. “But they do.”



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