Justice Department investigation: President Biden speaks out, claiming Hunter ‘did nothing wrong’

Matt Viser, who was recently given an award at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner for ‘overall excellence’ in capturing ‘the spirit of Joe Biden’ shared the doddering president’s claim that Hunter Biden ‘has done nothing wrong’.

President Biden made this statement as his own Justice Department is investigating his son.

We’re certainly glad the adults are back in the room, respecting our sacred norms, and all that.

Maybe that Russian hooker was named ‘Nothing Wrong’ …

You have to hand it to Matt. He really does capture the spirit of Joe Biden here … one of congenital lying.

Stephen Miller wasn’t pulling any punches on this one.

Guy must be mistaken. The Biden White House would never interfere with a Justice Department investi …

Oh. From January of this year:

‘This is a legal matter that is currently happening at the Department of Justice, and the President has been very very clear when it comes to these types of legal matters, when it comes to investigations, he’s not going to interfere. He wants to make sure that we give back the independence that the Department of Justice should have when it comes to these types of investigations … ‘

We guess White House Press Secretary, Karine Jean-Pierre wasn’t briefed on the Hunter Biden loophole.

We don’t think you’re going to hear that mantra on this one. LOL.

Hunter probably got him a ‘World’s Greatest Big Guy’ shirt for Father’s Day.

The struggle is real for these leftist lackies. They know they have to ask questions, but they shield him immediately.

We had to laugh at the ‘you don’t have to answer’. You could almost hear the internal screaming: ‘You REALLY shouldn’t answer this question I’m about to ask. Please don’t do it. He’s gonna do it. Oh crap.’

They so badly want us to believe it.

As if MSNBC was capable of shame.

Imagine the media extending the benefit of the doubt to Donald Trump if the Justice Department was investigating Don Jr.

The difference, in their minds, is that Orange Man Bad and Joe Biden is a ‘genuinely decent man’ – a claim that is as fabricated as Joe Biden’s hair.

Even in his lucid days, Biden was hardly a paragon of integrity. The man ended a presidential campaign in disgrace for plagiarism, regularly makes up stories about events that never happened, and has played dirty politics for 50 years, but there’s no way he could possibly be wrapped up in any wrongdoing?

Is it really water-carrying for Joe Biden, or is it more like carrying a tub of mint chocolate chip?

We’re not going to hold our breath that Hunter Biden will pay for his crimes. If he does, it will be a punishment far lighter than any of us would receive, and it will be orchestrated to provide cover for the Big Guy.

It will go something like this:

‘Now that President Biden has publicly commented on his son’s innocence in an active Justice Department investigation, could you provide some detail on which flavors he’s depending on to carry him through these politically-motivated attacks against his son?’

That’s gonna be a big old steaming goose egg.

Do NeverTrumpers count? At least he called out the conflict with the Justice Department.

Let’s not get crazy here. They never said the norms applied to everyone.

The norms have never changed actually: Democrats get away with stuff in the press and Republicans don’t.

That’s the norm …

… and those guys are too, but in a good way.

Hey, he’s an excellent artist. Wait until you see his video productions …

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BREAKING: The Absolutely FILTHY Investigation Into The Trump Russia Investigation Filthier Than We Ever Knew!

BREAKING: John Durham and Bill Barr are some of the corruptest sumbitches ever to wander the streets of DC. Must credit Wonkette!

LOL, and also holy shit! The New York Times has a story (Wonkette gift link) on the brazen corruption baked in to the appointment of Special Counsel John Durham to INVESTIGATE THE INVESTIGATORS and browned to crispy, golden perfection as the two tried every which way to prove that the inquiry into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia was somehow inappropriate and illegal.

“[T]he main thrust of the Durham inquiry was marked by some of the very same flaws — including a strained justification for opening it and its role in fueling partisan conspiracy theories that would never be charged in court — that Trump allies claim characterized the Russia investigation,” writes the New York Times, in what has to be the understatement of the year. In fact, the Durham investigation was an uncanny mirror of every corrupt thing Trump and his allies accused the FBI of doing. Because if there’s one thing we’ve learned in the past seven years, it’s that every single Trump accusation is a confession — or at least an announcement of crimes they intend to commit real soon.


It started with Barr tasking Durham in the spring of 2019 with investigating the origin of the FBI’s Trump Russia investigation in 2015. He was sure that the “Crossfire Hurricane” inquiry was opened without appropriate predicate. And although he himself could cite to no predicate for his suspicions, his own gut instincts were apparently enough. Eschewing protocol, he went so far as to go on Fox News and air his suspicions that “officials abused their power and put their thumb on the scale.”

“A lot of the answers have been inadequate, and some of the explanations I’ve gotten don’t hang together,” he added darkly.

Barr was pretty sure he knew who had done Trump dirty:

In May 2019, soon after giving Mr. Durham his assignment, Mr. Barr summoned the head of the National Security Agency, Paul M. Nakasone, to his office. In front of several aides, Mr. Barr demanded that the N.S.A. cooperate with the Durham inquiry.

Referring to the C.I.A. and British spies, Mr. Barr also said he suspected that the N.S.A.’s “friends” had helped instigate the Russia investigation by targeting the Trump campaign, aides briefed on the meeting said. And repeating a sexual vulgarity, he warned that if the N.S.A. wronged him by not doing all it could to help Mr. Durham, Mr. Barr would do the same to the agency.

Spoiler Alert: Durham got all the way up the ass of the CIA and emerged somewhere near the Langley metro station. He didn’t find shit.

Barr was also dead certain that foreign governments had been trying to fuck the Trump campaign. He had no evidence, of course, but he and Durham still packed their bags for a little taxpayer-funded road trip to lob baseless accusations at our foreign allies:

Mr. Barr and Mr. Durham traveled abroad together to press British and Italian officials to reveal everything their agencies had gleaned about the Trump campaign and relayed to the United States, but both allied governments denied they had done any such thing. Top British intelligence officials expressed indignation to their U.S. counterparts about the accusation, three former U.S. officials said.

Worse still, the Justice Department Inspector General Michael Horowitz was investigating the same stuff, and he found that the Crossfire Hurricane investigation was appropriately predicated because that dipshit “coffee boy” George Papadopoulos bragged to an Australian diplomat that Russian actors were going to start leaking hacked Clinton documents to help Trump, and then they did.

The week before Mr. Horowitz released the report, he and aides came to Mr. Durham’s offices — nondescript suites on two floors of a building in northeast Washington — to go over it.

Mr. Durham lobbied Mr. Horowitz to drop his finding that the diplomat’s tip had been sufficient for the F.B.I. to open its “full” counterintelligence investigation, arguing that it was enough at most for a “preliminary” inquiry, according to officials. But Mr. Horowitz did not change his mind.

When the pressure campaign failed to change Horowitz’s mind, Barr and Durham put their heads together and came up with a plan. Luckily those two hadn’t bothered with any of the normal prosecutorial independence stuff, with Durham meeting Barr for a weekly scotch-n-strategy sesh to discuss the case. LOL, remember when Republicans practically burned down the DOJ because Loretta Lynch had a conversation with Bill Clinton on the tarmac one time?

Minutes before the inspector general’s report went online, Mr. Barr issued a statement contradicting Mr. Horowitz’s major finding, declaring that the F.B.I. opened the investigation “on the thinnest of suspicions that, in my view, were insufficient.” He would later tell Fox News that the investigation began “without any basis,” as if the diplomat’s tip never happened.

Durham also put out a statement undercutting the IG’s conclusions and promising that his “evidence collected to date” would substantiate claims that there was something defective in the origin of the Russia investigation. He never did, of course.

Meanwhile, on their little junket abroad, Barr and Durham did get a little tidbit from our pals in Italy about financial shenanigans. Only it involved Donald Trump, not Hillary Clinton. Apparently it was serious enough that they had to open a criminal investigation, which leaked. Contemporaneousnewsreports operated on the assumption that the investigation involved FBI officials doing crimes to frame poor innocent Donald Trump — or perhaps it was, as Donald Trump said, Mr. Joe Biden himself doing the criming! Somehow Bill Barr, who was plenty chatty when it came to his own unsubstantiated hunches, failed to disabuse the media of this notion.

By 2020, it was clear that Durham wasn’t going to find evidence that the CIA or the FBI or the NSA or MI6 or Interpol or anyone else conspired to improperly gin up an investigation into Donald Trump’s Russia contacts. So Barr and Durham would have to shut their operation down and admit defeat, or start getting creative. Naturally, they chose the second option.

Durham wondered if he could prove bias by “comparing the Justice Department’s aggressive response to suspicions of links between Mr. Trump and Russia with its more cautious and skeptical reaction to various Clinton-related suspicions.” Yes, his theory was really that FBI Director James Comey showed preferential treatment to Hillary by running his damn mouth about her stupid emails while keeping absolutely silent about the ongoing investigation of the Trump campaign.

Alternatively, the Special Counsel started chasing down a theory that Clinton and her allies had conspired to “defraud the government by manufacturing the suspicions that the Trump campaign had colluded with Russia, along with scrutinizing what the F.B.I. and intelligence officials knew about the Clinton campaign’s actions.” If that sounds familiar, it’s because it’s the same insane bullshit that formed the basis of Trump’s RICO LOLsuit against Clinton, Comey, the DNC, and half of DC — the one that he and his lawyers just got slapped with a million dollars worth of sanctions for filing. In Durham’s case, it just resulted in the two embarrassing acquittals of attorney Michael Sussmann and analyst Igor Danchenko.

And hey, remember the one million times when Trump accused Obama and the FBI of spying on his campaign? Plus all the times Republicans screamed about the dirty dossier full of Russian misinformation being used to justify the FISA warrants? Well! Funny story!

See, a Dutch spy agency infiltrated the servers of its Russian counterpart and came up with some memos that appeared to “make demonstrably inconsistent, inaccurate or exaggerated claims, and some U.S. analysts believed Russia may have deliberately seeded them with disinformation.”

The memos referred to conversations between then-DNC chair Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz and Leonard Benardo, executive vice president of the Open Society Foundations, a philanthropy funded by George Soros. (You can see why this would get Barr and Durham all tingly in parts of them they’d long written off as useless appendages.) The problem was that Wasserman Schultz and Benardo had never met. But that didn’t stop Durham, who tried repeatedly to use the Russian memos to get access to Benardo’s emails. When Chief Judge Beryl Howell refused multiple requests for a warrant, Durham turned to the grand jury, forcing Benardo to testify and hand over his emails directly.

By summer 2020, Durham hadn’t managed to come up with anything. So Barr told him to just dummy up an “interim report centered on the Clinton campaign and F.B.I. gullibility or willful blindness.” This appeared to be the last straw for Durham’s longtime deputy Nora Dannehy, who resigned, documenting her reasons in a memo to her colleagues denouncing the report for relying on probably Russian disinformation. According to the Times, other prosecutors left the case as well after disagreements over Durham’s decision to prosecute Sussmann and Danchenko without appropriate predicate.

In short, Durham faithfully replicated every corrupt detail he and Barr imputed to their predecessors but failed to find. And with this Congress, they’re probably going to get away with it.

LOCK THEM UP.

And OPEN THREAD!

[NYT]

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PSA: New GOP House Oversight Chair James Comer Is A F*cking Clown

Good morning! Welcome back to the Joe Biden classified documents story, which is worse than Donald Trump’s classified documents because Hunter Biden’s laptop and Hunter Biden’s penis and because Republicans are deeply unserious and deeply unwell people.

In every way, the Biden classified documents story — while still infuriating for a number of reasons — is a how-to class on “What To Do If You Accidentally Took Some Classified Docs Home And Found Them In Your Backpack.” Meanwhile, Donald Trump stole a far greater number of classified documents, and has spent the entire time since investigators started asking lying about it and ducking subpoenas. Nobody in the general public has any idea what kind of nefarious purposes Trump had for those documents, but it is Trump, so no matter how horrifying the truth ends up being, we will not be shocked.

Gallant Found Few More Classified Docs In Garage And Gave Them Back. Goofus Should Still Go To Prison.

Biden ‘Surprised’ Classified Docs Found At His Think Tank, But He WOULD Say That, Now Wouldn’t He?

This weekend, the Biden administration continued being obscenely transparent about this and revealed that on Thursday, Biden White House lawyer Richard Sauber found a few MORE classified docs from Joe Biden’s Wilmington, Delaware, house. (This is batch three.) So of course they told us immediately, because they are good and they are well-behaved and when they find classified documents they always tell the teacher immediately!


Sauber found the document because Biden’s personal lawyers called him when they found that other classified doc next to the garage in Wilmington. So he went out there to help turn it over to the Justice Department. One thing led to another and they checked this other box, blah blah blah.

“Because I have a security clearance, I went to Wilmington Thursday evening to facilitate providing the document the President’s personal counsel found on Wednesday to the Justice Department,” Sauber said. “While I was transferring it to the DOJ officials who accompanied me, five additional pages with classification markings were discovered among the material with it, for a total of six pages. The DOJ officials with me immediately took possession of them.”

He added, “The President’s lawyers have acted immediately and voluntarily to provide the Penn Biden documents to the Archives and the Wilmington documents to DOJ.”

Again, this is what you should do in the unlikely event you ever find a document with classified markings in one of your piles of junk mail. Returning classified documents is easy and fun!

You don’t go on the radio and call the special counsel appointed to investigate a “terrorist” and paint a target on their family; you don’t lie and say you declassified those documents in your brain; you don’t baselessly insinuate that maybe the FBI/Deep State planted those documents, and you don’t lie to the National Archives and Justice Department to conceal the fact that you are still hiding a shitload more classified documents you stole.

None of this changes the fact that Kentucky Fried Pigshit Person Rep. James Comer, new chair of the House Oversight Committee, told Jake Tapper this weekend that he will be investigating Biden’s classified documents, but not Trump’s. Why? Refer to what we said about how Republicans are deeply unserious and deeply unwell, and add how they are where integrity goes to die.

Also remember that the entire thing James Comer is famous for is heavily breathing in frustration in November because reporters wouldn’t focus their questions on Hunter Biden. If we could keep this about Hunter Biden, OK? We think it’s pretty important to keep this about Hunter Biden! Hunter Biden!

Tapper played a clip of Comer saying in November that the Trump documents case would “not be a priority” for him, and asked:

“Do you only care about classified documents being mishandled when Democrats do the mishandling?” Tapper asked.

“Absolutely not,” Comer responded. He added, “At the end of the day, my biggest concern isn’t the classified documents, to be honest with you. My concern is how there’s such a discrepancy in how former President Trump was treated, by raiding Mar-a-Lago, by getting the security cameras, by taking pictures of documents on the floor, by going through Melania’s closet versus Joe Biden where its like — okay, your personal lawyers who don’t have security clearance, they can go through, they can just keep looking and keep looking and determine whatever is there. That’s not equal treatment, and we’re very concerned and there’s a lack of trust here at the Department of Justice by house Republicans.”

“Why was Mar-a-Lago raided, but the president’s home not?” asked Comer, as disingenuously as every other square-faced white-haired southern Republican who looks like he’s dressed in drag for a Young Newt Gingrich lookalike contest. He told Tapper that “With respect to investigating President Trump, there have been so many investigations of President Trump. I don’t feel like we need to spend a whole lot of time investigating President Trump because the Democrats have done that for the past six years.”

To which we reply oh go fuck yourself.

Also, if Comer moves those goalposts any faster he’s going to poke somebody’s eye out.

All these questions have been asked and answered. Gallants who cooperate in every way are treated with respect. Goofuses who lie and obstruct investigations get their asses raided. It’s real fuckin’ simple. And if Melania has to buy new underpants, well, Wonkette has already done the journalistic work of finding out where the closest Walmart to Mar-a-Lago is.

Hope You’re Happy: Melania Had To Get New Underpants

Here’s the entire interview if you like hick yokels with grins that make people uncomfortable.

www.youtube.com

Things are about to get so much stupider. You can tell by looking at James Comer’s face, it is the face of “getting stupider.”

[NBC News / Mediaite]

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