Tucker-By-Numbers Reads His Russian Propaganda Mad Lib After Biden Ukraine Visit

Good morning.

Anyone could have guessed, after President Joe Biden’s widely successful and patriotic and good and decent Presidents’ Day visit to Ukraine, that Tucker Carlson would have been in overdrive last night to convince his viewers that NO, you did not see what you just saw, and that was BAD, and Volodymyr Zelenskyy is the ENEMY, and Vladimir Putin is your DADDY.

Etc.

It’s almost like Tucker-By-Numbers at this point. Any of us could make our own Tucker Kremlin Propaganda Mad Lib.


Hell, Fish Stick Fauntleroy could go on vacation and they could do a rotating cast of guest hosts to read Tucker Kremlin Propaganda Mad Libs. It’d be like the thing they’re doing on “‘The Daily Show” right now, but probably with way more incel guest hosts.

At the beginning of his show he lavished praise on Donald Trump, for being the most brilliant foreign policy mind ever.

It’s so funny because it’s always been pretty clear that Trump, who is, in point of fact, a fucking moron, did not come up with his foreign policy ideas by himself. It’s always seemed like SOMEBODY was filling his head with nonsense. It’s especially odd when Trump has ended up with highly specific beliefs about things that wouldn’t even be on most westerners’ radar, but would be particularly close to SOMEBODY’S heart.

There’s also the way Trump is certain he could end Russia’s war on Ukraine, by giving Russia everything it ever wanted and making Ukraine beg for mercy. Which is on brand, considering how he extorted that country to help him steal the 2020 election, in exchange for protection from Russia, and was impeached for it.

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We Have Always Been At War With … Montenegro???

We Knew Trump Was Probably A Russian Intelligence Asset, But HOLY F*CK

But anyway! That monologue last night, hoo boy and boy howdy!

You can read it for yourself by clicking that link. The Fox News headline is that “Zelenskyy is an instrument of total destruction.” Tucker’s thesis was, “Donald Trump had far wiser instincts about American foreign policy than any leader in at least a generation, and he did it without the help of anyone.”

Every word of that sentence is:

Giphy

These were Trump’s very deep thoughts he came up with all by himself, according to Tucker:

“What’s the point of NATO?,” he asked nearly 30 years after the fall of the Soviet Union. No one in Washington could answer him. Shut up, racist, they replied, but Trump just kept going in his Trumpy way. “Why would we fight Russia?” he wondered. “Wouldn’t making Russia our enemy just drive Putin into the arms of China and create the most powerful and dangerous anti-American bloc in history?”

No one bothered to answer him. In fact, for the sin of asking, they called him a traitor to his country. They impeached him for it, and then they started a war with Putin. But in retrospect, Trump had asked a deeply patriotic question: If Russia ever joined forces with China, American global hegemony, its power would end instantly. You’d have the world’s largest land mass and largest natural gas reserves, allied with the world’s largest population and world’s largest economy.

You betcha. We impeached Trump for asking a question — it was a different question though — and then started a war with Putin over it. Nobody else started the war, like say the man who almost a year ago invaded a whole nother country, our ally, we started the war. Also: the fire!

Anyway, Trump had those very original questions about NATO, and also had very specific questions about the consequences of acknowledging that Russia is not our friend. Funny how the Trump and Tucker versions of the question both drastically overinflate the power of Russia. “The most powerful and dangerous anti-American bloc in history.” Lordy, the Putin fluffing. Gotta reassure him everybody still thinks he’s this big man, after his year of embarrassment in Ukraine.

You won’t be surprised to learn that it just went on and on and on like this. We imagine Russian state TV clipped a whole bunch of it to show Daddy. Probably this part too:

Zelenskyy himself is a very dark force. That is obvious if you watch him. It is unmistakable. Who could not see that? This man is a destroyer. He banned a Christian faith in his country and arrested nuns and priests. Oh, but he’s a hero, claim our leaders from Chuck Schumer to Mitch McConnell. No, Zelenskyy is not a hero. He is an instrument of total destruction. That is not a defense of his enemies. It’s just true and maybe that’s why Joe Biden is drawn to him.

Zelenskyy obviously did not ban Christian faith, but this is a lie Putin fluffers are telling.

Note that Tucker said, “It’s just true,” his assertions about Zelenskyy. That’s his weird tic when he’s demanding his viewers swallow propaganda. “It’s just true,” he says in a weird cadence while staring at the camera.

Tucker also said the air raid sirens that happened in Kyiv when Biden was there were “Potemkin air raid sirens.”

There was a ton more, including the requisite babbling about how if Biden really cared he would have gone to East Palestine, Ohio, but we are finished with this particular Mad Lib.

[Fox News]

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BREAKING: The Absolutely FILTHY Investigation Into The Trump Russia Investigation Filthier Than We Ever Knew!

BREAKING: John Durham and Bill Barr are some of the corruptest sumbitches ever to wander the streets of DC. Must credit Wonkette!

LOL, and also holy shit! The New York Times has a story (Wonkette gift link) on the brazen corruption baked in to the appointment of Special Counsel John Durham to INVESTIGATE THE INVESTIGATORS and browned to crispy, golden perfection as the two tried every which way to prove that the inquiry into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia was somehow inappropriate and illegal.

“[T]he main thrust of the Durham inquiry was marked by some of the very same flaws — including a strained justification for opening it and its role in fueling partisan conspiracy theories that would never be charged in court — that Trump allies claim characterized the Russia investigation,” writes the New York Times, in what has to be the understatement of the year. In fact, the Durham investigation was an uncanny mirror of every corrupt thing Trump and his allies accused the FBI of doing. Because if there’s one thing we’ve learned in the past seven years, it’s that every single Trump accusation is a confession — or at least an announcement of crimes they intend to commit real soon.


It started with Barr tasking Durham in the spring of 2019 with investigating the origin of the FBI’s Trump Russia investigation in 2015. He was sure that the “Crossfire Hurricane” inquiry was opened without appropriate predicate. And although he himself could cite to no predicate for his suspicions, his own gut instincts were apparently enough. Eschewing protocol, he went so far as to go on Fox News and air his suspicions that “officials abused their power and put their thumb on the scale.”

“A lot of the answers have been inadequate, and some of the explanations I’ve gotten don’t hang together,” he added darkly.

Barr was pretty sure he knew who had done Trump dirty:

In May 2019, soon after giving Mr. Durham his assignment, Mr. Barr summoned the head of the National Security Agency, Paul M. Nakasone, to his office. In front of several aides, Mr. Barr demanded that the N.S.A. cooperate with the Durham inquiry.

Referring to the C.I.A. and British spies, Mr. Barr also said he suspected that the N.S.A.’s “friends” had helped instigate the Russia investigation by targeting the Trump campaign, aides briefed on the meeting said. And repeating a sexual vulgarity, he warned that if the N.S.A. wronged him by not doing all it could to help Mr. Durham, Mr. Barr would do the same to the agency.

Spoiler Alert: Durham got all the way up the ass of the CIA and emerged somewhere near the Langley metro station. He didn’t find shit.

Barr was also dead certain that foreign governments had been trying to fuck the Trump campaign. He had no evidence, of course, but he and Durham still packed their bags for a little taxpayer-funded road trip to lob baseless accusations at our foreign allies:

Mr. Barr and Mr. Durham traveled abroad together to press British and Italian officials to reveal everything their agencies had gleaned about the Trump campaign and relayed to the United States, but both allied governments denied they had done any such thing. Top British intelligence officials expressed indignation to their U.S. counterparts about the accusation, three former U.S. officials said.

Worse still, the Justice Department Inspector General Michael Horowitz was investigating the same stuff, and he found that the Crossfire Hurricane investigation was appropriately predicated because that dipshit “coffee boy” George Papadopoulos bragged to an Australian diplomat that Russian actors were going to start leaking hacked Clinton documents to help Trump, and then they did.

The week before Mr. Horowitz released the report, he and aides came to Mr. Durham’s offices — nondescript suites on two floors of a building in northeast Washington — to go over it.

Mr. Durham lobbied Mr. Horowitz to drop his finding that the diplomat’s tip had been sufficient for the F.B.I. to open its “full” counterintelligence investigation, arguing that it was enough at most for a “preliminary” inquiry, according to officials. But Mr. Horowitz did not change his mind.

When the pressure campaign failed to change Horowitz’s mind, Barr and Durham put their heads together and came up with a plan. Luckily those two hadn’t bothered with any of the normal prosecutorial independence stuff, with Durham meeting Barr for a weekly scotch-n-strategy sesh to discuss the case. LOL, remember when Republicans practically burned down the DOJ because Loretta Lynch had a conversation with Bill Clinton on the tarmac one time?

Minutes before the inspector general’s report went online, Mr. Barr issued a statement contradicting Mr. Horowitz’s major finding, declaring that the F.B.I. opened the investigation “on the thinnest of suspicions that, in my view, were insufficient.” He would later tell Fox News that the investigation began “without any basis,” as if the diplomat’s tip never happened.

Durham also put out a statement undercutting the IG’s conclusions and promising that his “evidence collected to date” would substantiate claims that there was something defective in the origin of the Russia investigation. He never did, of course.

Meanwhile, on their little junket abroad, Barr and Durham did get a little tidbit from our pals in Italy about financial shenanigans. Only it involved Donald Trump, not Hillary Clinton. Apparently it was serious enough that they had to open a criminal investigation, which leaked. Contemporaneousnewsreports operated on the assumption that the investigation involved FBI officials doing crimes to frame poor innocent Donald Trump — or perhaps it was, as Donald Trump said, Mr. Joe Biden himself doing the criming! Somehow Bill Barr, who was plenty chatty when it came to his own unsubstantiated hunches, failed to disabuse the media of this notion.

By 2020, it was clear that Durham wasn’t going to find evidence that the CIA or the FBI or the NSA or MI6 or Interpol or anyone else conspired to improperly gin up an investigation into Donald Trump’s Russia contacts. So Barr and Durham would have to shut their operation down and admit defeat, or start getting creative. Naturally, they chose the second option.

Durham wondered if he could prove bias by “comparing the Justice Department’s aggressive response to suspicions of links between Mr. Trump and Russia with its more cautious and skeptical reaction to various Clinton-related suspicions.” Yes, his theory was really that FBI Director James Comey showed preferential treatment to Hillary by running his damn mouth about her stupid emails while keeping absolutely silent about the ongoing investigation of the Trump campaign.

Alternatively, the Special Counsel started chasing down a theory that Clinton and her allies had conspired to “defraud the government by manufacturing the suspicions that the Trump campaign had colluded with Russia, along with scrutinizing what the F.B.I. and intelligence officials knew about the Clinton campaign’s actions.” If that sounds familiar, it’s because it’s the same insane bullshit that formed the basis of Trump’s RICO LOLsuit against Clinton, Comey, the DNC, and half of DC — the one that he and his lawyers just got slapped with a million dollars worth of sanctions for filing. In Durham’s case, it just resulted in the two embarrassing acquittals of attorney Michael Sussmann and analyst Igor Danchenko.

And hey, remember the one million times when Trump accused Obama and the FBI of spying on his campaign? Plus all the times Republicans screamed about the dirty dossier full of Russian misinformation being used to justify the FISA warrants? Well! Funny story!

See, a Dutch spy agency infiltrated the servers of its Russian counterpart and came up with some memos that appeared to “make demonstrably inconsistent, inaccurate or exaggerated claims, and some U.S. analysts believed Russia may have deliberately seeded them with disinformation.”

The memos referred to conversations between then-DNC chair Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz and Leonard Benardo, executive vice president of the Open Society Foundations, a philanthropy funded by George Soros. (You can see why this would get Barr and Durham all tingly in parts of them they’d long written off as useless appendages.) The problem was that Wasserman Schultz and Benardo had never met. But that didn’t stop Durham, who tried repeatedly to use the Russian memos to get access to Benardo’s emails. When Chief Judge Beryl Howell refused multiple requests for a warrant, Durham turned to the grand jury, forcing Benardo to testify and hand over his emails directly.

By summer 2020, Durham hadn’t managed to come up with anything. So Barr told him to just dummy up an “interim report centered on the Clinton campaign and F.B.I. gullibility or willful blindness.” This appeared to be the last straw for Durham’s longtime deputy Nora Dannehy, who resigned, documenting her reasons in a memo to her colleagues denouncing the report for relying on probably Russian disinformation. According to the Times, other prosecutors left the case as well after disagreements over Durham’s decision to prosecute Sussmann and Danchenko without appropriate predicate.

In short, Durham faithfully replicated every corrupt detail he and Barr imputed to their predecessors but failed to find. And with this Congress, they’re probably going to get away with it.

LOCK THEM UP.

And OPEN THREAD!

[NYT]

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#BREAKING #Absolutely #FILTHY #Investigation #Trump #Russia #Investigation #Filthier #Knew

Will THIS GUY Expose Hillary’s FBI Conspiracy To Steal Election From Herself To Frame Trump For Russia Stuff?

Here’s an interesting story to know about, against the backdrop of new House Barely Speaker Kevin McCarthy caterwauling about how Adam Schiff LIEEEEED TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE about Donald Trump’s collusion with Russia and TREEEEASON PARAPHRASED Trump’s very perfect call with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, back in more innocent days when Trump was just extorting Ukraine to help him steal the 2020 election in exchange for protection from Russia.

Goddamn, that impeachment seems so much simpler to explain these days, don’t it?

The former top intelligence guy for the FBI’s New York field office, Charles McGonigal, has just been charged in federal courts in both DC and Manhattan with a number of very interesting crimes. For example, after he left the FBI, secretly working for Russian oligarch Oleg Deripaska investigating a rival oligarch, and also working on Deripaska’s behalf to get him off the US sanctions list, itself a violation of the sanctions. Also hiding $225,000 in other bribes from a different dude while he was working at the FBI.

So that’s weird, yeah?


Charles McGonigal, 54, who retired from the FBI in September 2018, was indicted in federal court in Manhattan on charges of money laundering, violating U.S. sanctions and other counts stemming from his alleged ties to Deripaska, an ally of Russian President Vladimir Putin. In his role at the FBI, McGonigal had been tasked with investigating Deripaska, whose own indictment on sanctions-violation charges was unsealed in September.

A second indictment, filed in Washington, accused McGonigal of hiding payments totaling $225,000 that he allegedly received from a New Jersey man employed decades ago by an Albanian intelligence agency. The indictment also accused him of acting to advance that person’s interests.

It seems bad for one of the former top intelligence guys at the FBI to be indicted for taking secret bribes and secretly working for the interests of one of Russia’s most powerful oligarchs, yeah? Especially one of the closest oligarchs to Vladimir Putin, Paul Manafort’s former boss, who was seemingly very close to the Russian operation to steal the 2016 election? Is that bad? Paul Manafort, of course, ran the Trump campaign, and pretty much every Russia report produced by the US government has concluded that he was integral to the NO COLLUSION!

Oh, and what was Manafort’s previous work for Deripaska? Propping up pro-Russian forces in Ukraine.

Trump Goon Paul Manafort Made $10 MILLION A YEAR To ‘Benefit Putin.’ Totally Normal!

It’s Manafort. It’s Always Been Manafort. And The Senate Intel Committee Seems To Agree!

NO COLLUSION! NO COLLUSION! You Know, Except For ALL THIS F*CKING COLLUSION!

Hey, Paul Manafort! Remember All That Shit You Pulled To Sell The World On The Ukrainian Dictator? Robert Mueller Remembers!

Most of the regular news reporting on this is extremely dry and weeds-y and virtually unreadable to anyone who isn’t obsessed with this stuff, but this excerpt about McGonigal, way down at the bottom of the Washington Post‘s article, is some extremely important context we will briefly explore:

McGonigal was an expert on Russian intelligence activities targeting the United States, as well as U.S. efforts to recruit Russian spies, said several former intelligence officials who worked with him and spoke on the condition of anonymity to describe sensitive matters.

His position at the New York field office would have given him direct access to past and current recruitment efforts, work that was coordinated with the CIA, these people said. McGonigal was well-known at the CIA among officers who dealt with Russia and counterintelligence matters, and he knew the details of some intelligence operations targeting Russia, former officials said.

McGonigal has not been charged with espionage, but the former officials who worked with him said his knowledge and experience would have put him at high risk of being recruited by a foreign government.

Rightwing weirdos are already pretty sure this guy — this guy! Not the last guy or the guy before that, this guy! — will be the key to unraveling the Deep State conspiracy where Hillary Clinton colluded with Russia and the FBI in order to steal the election from herself for the sole purpose of destroying the life and presidency of God-fearing patriot and humble servant Donald Trump. They are pointing to the fact that in 2016, he was head of Cybercrimes at the home office in DC, and was one of the first people who knew about allegations from Trump campaign idiot George Papadopoulos that the Russians had big dirt on Hillary that they were going to deploy against her.

Trump himself is raaaaaaaging over McGonigal’s arrest on Truth Social:

“The FBI guy after me for the Russia, Russia, Russia HOAX, long before my Election as President, was just arrested for taking money from Russia, Russia, Russia,” Trump wrote on his Truth Social platform on Tuesday. “May he Rot In Hell!”

Yeah OK, buddy, mash your meds up in some ketchup and swallow them.

What’s more interesting to us is what happened later in 2016, closer to the election.

As Heather Cox Richardson explains, October of 2016 was when then-FBI Director James Comey moved McGonigal into that position as head of counterintel at the New York field office. And what was happening in October of 2016, specifically regarding the New York FBI field office? That was the one that was as intent on skullfucking the Clinton campaign as Russia was, the one that seemed to be leaking fake bullshit about Clinton to Rudy Giuliani, who was babbling on the radio that the FBI was going to “revolt” if she wasn’t indicted.

Fox News was cumming itself at the time screaming that Hillary’s indictment was coming, apparently sourced from some dumb bucktoothed idiot types at the New York office who were furious Main Justice wouldn’t sanction their investigation into the Clinton Foundation, since it was based on debunked, Breitbart-funded bullshit from that dumb Clinton Cash book.

As Cox Richardson reminds us, when James Comey went before Congress in 2018, he said he was worried that if he didn’t blabber forth 11 DAYS BEFORE THE ELECTION about the “re-opening” of the Hillary emails investigation, after some “new” (not new) emails were found, that the New York office would leak it. And more:

Former acting attorney general Sally Yates was clearer. She told the inspector general that Comey and other FBI officials “felt confident that the New York Field Office would leak it and that it would come out regardless of whether he advised Congress or not.”

Yeah, so anyway!

Radicalized FBI Sleeper Cell Probably Led By Rudy Giuliani

James Comey Strikes Again (And Again And Again And Again)

Anthony Weiner’s Dick Explodes All Over Hillary Clinton’s Emails

Uh Oh, Did Adam Schiff Do TREASON COLLUSION With The Whistleblower’s Report? (No)

One more thing from Cox Richardson about what McGonigal did after his stint at the NY FBI office:

We also know that after McGonigal left the FBI, he went to work for Brookfield Properties, the multibillion-dollar real-estate company in New York that handled the bailout of Jared Kushner’s 666 Fifth Avenue by a $1.1 billion, 99-year lease—all paid up front—thanks to the Qatar Investment Authority.

And also went to work for Oleg Deripaska, which seems to tell us something about what kinda guy this dude is.

So yeah, huh! Weird stuff.

As she points out, these indictments aren’t about any of that stuff, but we kind of feel like — based on context clues — this guy might NOT end up being the guy who exposes the Deep State conspiracy where Hillary Clinton colluded with Russia and the FBI in order to steal the election from herself for the sole purpose of destroying the life and presidency of God-fearing patriot and humble servant Donald Trump.

We could be wrong.

Talking Points Memo has the indictments and much more on the charges related to the Albanian intelligence thingie, should you want to dive into the weeds.

Also here’s some MSNBC reporting on all this:

www.youtube.com

[Washington Post / Daily Beast / Heather Cox Richardson]

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