We mean every word of that headline.
This article is about Charlie Kirk, but you could say the same for all the Daily Wire guys and Donald Trump Jr. and pretty much every other white conservative MAGA dude these days. We’ve long noted it about Tucker Carlson. (Who just got finished doing an interview with creep Andrew Tate that was pretty much just Tucker drinking Tate’s bathwater, something he’s clearly been pining to do. Tate of course has been charged with rape and human trafficking, something conservatives are tying themselves in knots trying to pretend they care about at the moment.)
Some of them would be left with a husk of creepy, stupid religious beliefs, but even those are tied up in their masculinity issues.
Charlie Kirk gave the weirdest demonstration of this yesterday on his show. We are not even sure where to start making fun of this clip, but did you know that nobody who has become strong as a result of going to the gym is a liberal? Or rather, did you know that’s something Charlie Kirk’s psyche needs to believe for some demented and sad reason?
Kirk was bitching about some MSNBC article from last summer, about how there is a trend within white fascist male (read: masculine insecure) communities that ties their political beliefs in with mixed martial arts and boxing, groups that pull in white supremacists and Nazis and more. But of course, Charlie Kirk doesn’t have much formal education, which might be why his stated comprehension of the article is poor.
Which must be why he said:
CHARLIE KIRK: A society that is eating well, eating clean, intermittent fasting, not taking processed foods, has their testosterone rates properly balanced, understands their hormones, taking supplements, is properly hydrating, is pushing themselves physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, that makes tyranny harder to become popular. A society that is individually full of millions of strong people, a tyrant — how, how is Gavin Newsom or J.B Pritzker going to take control of their lives, it’s like screw you!
Yes, indeed, a society that does intermittent fasting and drinks enough water is fully equipped to fight back against, ahem, Gavin Newsom. Sure thing. Totally regular and normal thing to say right there.
Kirk said he thinks men are working out right now because there’s a “tribal signal that’s subconsciously going off” because society is falling apart. You know, because of the “moral and societal decay” and the “open borders.” It’s sending the young men to the gym, in a tribal signal way. You bet.
It got weirder, because Charlie was still mad about the article that talked about how Nazis are using MMA and boxing to recruit. He was upset about lines in it that say things like, “The intersection of extremism and fitness leans into a shared obsession with the male body, training, masculinity, testosterone, strength and competition.” (LOL show us the lie. These fucking weirdos are literally obsessed with testosterone levels,sperm counts and ball tanning these days.)
Tucker Says Low Testosterone Matters And Size Matters And Big Things Are Very Scary
And Now For The Sperm Report, With Tucker Carlson!
Alex Jones So Excited Tucker Shot Part Of His Little Weenus-Tanning Documentary On His Property
And Charlie had another theory, about what the Left wants men to do. Did you know the Left does not want people to work out? Did you know the Left wants people to be weak? Did you know that Charlie is misunderstanding the MSNBC article he’s mad about, either intentionally or not, to mean that MSNBC is saying that all fitness is a right-wing thing, and the Left is the opposite?
He made a crack about how the “gay mafia” is definitely more obsessed with the male body than the Nazi weirdos who make up the American conservative movement these days, and then he made that face above. And then he said:
KIRK: They want men to become metrosexual betas of low testosterone that are androgynous consumers that sit on their tail all day long that have no muscle mass, no desire, no purpose. They want you depressed, they want you weak, and they want you easily controlled.
LMAO, amazing. Again, it’s hard to figure out where to start making fun of this.
Aside from the fact that he whined about low testosterone five seconds after making a juvenile crack about the “gay mafia,” we can note that he used the term “metrosexual,” a word no normal person has used since 1995. The only people who still use that word are white shut-in conservatives who are furious that homophobes are now societal rejects. It’s literally a word that was invented to give straight men a pathway to take baths, trim their pubes and wear clothes that fit without being called gay. It simply has no cultural relevance in 2023. (And it never meant “weak.”)
Yet here is Charlie Kirk saying it to other milquetoast lunatics who probably also say it.
Kirk babbled and babbled about the Left wanting people who don’t ask questions and don’t resist tyranny, and continued:
KIRK: The Great Reset relies upon the masculine firewall, the masculine bulwark, to be obedient or abolished. So they label it as toxic masculinity.
LMAO, okeydoke.
If only men like Charlie Kirk stand up and shake around their testosterones, the Left’s evil plans could be thwarted! The masculine firewall! The masculine bulwark!
Charlie babbled some more about testosterone rates (but remember, only the “gay mafia” is obsessed with the male body). He whined that men who point out dropping testosterone rates are labeled as extremists. He made fun of the author of the MSNBC article and said “she looks like a wonderful wife.” (You know, because women are nothing but property to white Christian fascists.) He said she looks like a “feminazi on steroids.” He just kept performatively talking about how physically repulsive the woman was. “Ugh!” he said.
Yep, the crooked face and mangled forehead of Charlie Kirk said those things about another human’s appearance.
He continued:
KIRK: Weak men are necessary for the totalitarian takeover of America. […] Nobody who has gotten strong in the gym believes in the lies of liberalism. When you take hours a week in the gym, all of the sudden a government getting in your ear to say to get something for nothing falls — it is incongruent with your practices. When you’re in the gym you don’t believe the lies that people are just helpless victims of circumstance.
Y’all have to watch and see how mad he was saying this stuff. He was furious, his voice rising as he explained that people who are physically fit are happier and healthier, and the Left DOESN’T WANT YOU TO BE THAT WAY!
And we are just over here uncontrollably laughing at the idea that nobody at the gym is a liberal.
Funny story: When we first saw this article yesterday, we were still sweating because we had just come back from the gym, where we, a liberal gay homosexual, meet with our personal trainer for hours per week, on top of many more hours of strength training, cardio, yoga and more. Uh oh, Charlie! Are we at a risk of going brain-stupid and becoming admirers of you, Tucker Carlson and Donald Trump?
Bless his heart.
Where does this sniveling weenus think Instagram gays get their perfect bodies? And Instagram straights? The people who keep gyms open 24/7 in big cities? Does he think they’re secret Trump voters?
And it’s so funny because we know guys like Kirk go to the gym and lift and stuff. Maybe even a couple of the 4-foot-11 Daily Wire host dudes. A few of these guys are cut! (Definitely not all of them.) But their self-worth is so tied up in these masturbatory fantasies about how this somehow adds to their godly virtue, and also that they have been chosen to use their strong conservative man bodies this way to own the libs.
Whereas normal people are out there getting strong and healthy and looking great for … normal reasons.
As we said, if you took away these freaks’ masculine insecurities, you’d have nothing left.
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