Oh Fiddlesticks, Lindsey Graham Has Gone And Upset The Russians

What a strange day. First Ted Cruz was correct about a thing, and now we have a post wherein Lindsey Graham doesn’t need to go fuck himself.

Of course in both cases, it’s because the people who are mad at these MAGA garbage Republican senators are even more MAGA garbage than they are. And yes, we are including the Russian government and state-owned media under the umbrella of “MAGA garbage,” because you bet your ass we are.

Russia has issued an arrest warrant for Lindsey Graham. And Margarita Simonyan, the lying dogshit editor of Russian government-controlled RT, who will absolutely go to hell when she dies, is suggesting that the Russian government should just go ahead and assassinate Graham. “We have his address,” she said, as if that’s some great feat of the Russian intelligence services. Next she’ll say she can tell you what time stores open and close, and if Amazon is out of deodorant.


Turns Out All Russian Journalists Know They’re Lying About Ukraine War

This all started after Graham met with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy on Friday. In video of that encounter, released by Zelenskyy’s office, Graham said that “Russians are dying,” and that US aid to Ukraine in fighting Russia’s genocidal war is “the best money we’ve ever spent.” Russia is very mad because the way the video is edited, it (sorta) sounds like Graham is saying the best money we ever spent is to kill Russians. (Shrug.)

Of course, anybody can tell the video has been spliced together. (Watch it for yourself.) That means the Russians can tell, unless they are just very dumb. And that means their outrage is performative bullshit.

But oh, what performative outrage it is! The Daily Beast shares this example:

State TV host Vladimir Solovyov […] angrily exclaimed: “Your dirty American money also fully supported the Nazi regime in Germany! You are a Nazi beast and you’re following in the footsteps of your predecessors. I’ll repeat it once again: you will croak, but the Russian people will live forever!”

LOL okeydoke.

So the Investigative Committee, which investigates things in Russia, opened an investigation, and the Interior Ministry issued an arrest warrant for Graham, which we are sure will prove bothersome to any dreams Graham might have of visiting a Potemkin country whose hottest tourism attractions are “broken Ferris wheel” and “airport to take you out of Russia.” Graham wasn’t on the newest list of Americans banned from Russia, because he was already on the old list.

PREVIOUSLY! Putin Bans Everybody Who Ever Hurted Donald Trump’s Feelings From Glorious Russia

Foreign Minister Dmitry Peskov said, “It’s hard to imagine a greater shame for the country than having such senators,” which is factcheck true but not for any of the reasons Peskov is saying.

Then there was beclowned Putin sycophant Dmitry Medvedev, who kept Putin’s chair warm as president of Russia from 2008 to 2012, while Putin was pretending he was just prime minister, because at the time the Russian constitution wouldn’t allow Putin to serve a third consecutive term as president.

Dmitry Medvedev, the deputy chairman of Russia’s Security Council, said Graham “shouldn’t have done that” and called the 67-year-old lawmaker an “old fool.”

Medvedev also said on Telegram, “In his beloved America, not only ordinary people are regularly killed, but dirty money is also being spent on killing senators. He should recall the sad fate of Robert Kennedy, Huey Long, Clementa Carlos Pinckney, John Milton Elliott, Wayne Owens and other American politicians.” You know, in case people thought he was being too subtle and didn’t understand what he might be getting at.

And then there was Simonyan, who runs RT, and is a true garbage person. She allowed that maybe Graham’s comments had been edited, but then said:

“If Lady Graham really said that the money for the killing of Russians is the best money the US ever spent… I hope that in our country, the sons or grandchildren of Sudoplatov are alive, his pupils, or the descendants of his pupils. It’s not even hard. We have his address.”

“Lady Graham.” How cute. “Sudoplatov” is Pavel Sudoplatov, who the Daily Beast helpfully explains was part of the assassination of Leon Trotsky.

Then she said these things:

“I have no ill will towards anyone and our religion tells us to forgive, but no one tells us to reward these types of things. When we don’t act in response to these things, it is the same as encouraging them. It causes them to become increasingly more brazen.”

What’s Lindsey Graham gonna do? Invade the country next door unprovoked and start blowing its babies’ heads off like Russia did? Because we feel like that was pretty brazen.

Here’s video of all that fake Russian bellyaching:

www.youtube.com

Graham is acting like he isn’t even upset about all this, tweeting that he “will wear the arrest warrant issued by Putin’s corrupt and immoral government as a Badge of Honor.” He followed up:

“To know that my commitment to Ukraine has drawn the ire of Putin’s regime brings me immense joy. I will continue to stand with and for Ukraine’s freedom until every Russian soldier is expelled from Ukrainian territory.”

Melodramatic, but correct.

Specifically in response to Medvedev, Graham said, “[I]f you want Russians to stop dying in Ukraine, withdraw. Stop the invasion. Stop the war crimes. The truth is that you and Putin could care less about Russian soldiers.”

That’s one way to say it.

Or he could just tell all these Russians to eat an entire field full of Ukrainian assholes. But he would never do that because he is not cool and he still sucks, just not for the reasons the Russians think.

Watch, our next post will be about Marjorie Taylor Greene not kicking a puppy or something, WTF are we even on about today.

[NBC News / The Hill / Daily Beast]

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Trump Did THREE Perfect Calls To Overturn Georgia? Go To Three Prisons!

Let’s get the ball rolling so Fox News doesn’t have to: These Georgia grand jurors are so woke, they probably got a restful night of sleep last night. They’re so woke they probably didn’t even have to drink coffee today. They’re so woke they probably go on dates with Hunter Biden to Silicon Valley Bank in the morning.

OK cool. The Atlanta Journal Constitution dropped some very cool new reporting and interviews with the grand jurors in Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis’s investigation into Donald Trump’s attempts to overthrow the free and fair 2020 election in Georgia. If you’re already cringing hearing “Georgia grand jurors talking to media,” worry not. These people are anonymous and it appears they’re being very careful about blabbing any information they shouldn’t.

What they are telling us, though, is fascinating. For instance, Trump made yet another PERFECT CALL trying to overthrow the election. There was the most famous one — the “find me 11,780 votes” one, to Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger. There was the one to Frances Watson, the lead investigator in the secretary of state’s office, when he pressed her to get to the “right’ answer on what happened in Georgia.

BEFORE! If Team Trump Is Sh*tting Itself This Much Over THESE Georgia Grand Jury Excerpts, Imagine What’s Under Seal

And now we have Trump’s third perfect call, which jurors heard, to Georgia Republican House Speaker David Ralston, telling him to convene a special session of the Georgia Legislature to overturn Joe Biden’s win and give it to him. Ralston, as we know, did not do that.


One juror said Ralston proved to be “an amazing politician.”

The speaker “basically cut the president off. He said, ‘I will do everything in my power that I think is appropriate.’ … He just basically took the wind out of the sails,” the juror said. “‘Well, thank you,’ you know, is all the president could say.”

We feel like there’s a pattern here.

A juror the AJC talked to spoke of crying in their car at the end of the day, particularly days when they’d hear testimony from people whose lives Donald Trump ruined because he’s a weak sore loser who doesn’t love himself and can’t look his unending failures in the face.

Among the most compelling witnesses, various jurors said, were Fulton County poll workers Ruby Freeman and her daughter Shaye Moss, who had received death threats after being singled out by Trump and his then-attorney Rudy Giuliani. Another mentioned Eric Coomer, the onetime executive for Dominion Voting Systems, who left his job after being vilified. Also mentioned was Tricia Raffensperger, the wife of Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger, who broke down when describing the vitriol and threats leveled at her, one juror said.

“I was pretty emotional throughout the whole thing,” a juror said. “I wouldn’t cry in front of any of the witnesses, but when I would get in my car, I was like, I just left that and I have to just go do my job now?…. I just know things that are hard to know.”

They talked about how they want people to know how serious their deliberations were — especially after the media tour their foreperson took — and the respect for the system and the people who administer it they came away with.

Donald Trump Destroys People’s Lives

GA Grand Jury Foreperson Is Telling Us What We Want To Hear. She Should Stop That.

They talked about understanding the gravity of what they were participating in, as they confronted lockdowns and being protected by SWAT teams and bomb-sniffing dogs. The latter happened the day seditious bastard Michael Flynn showed up and, of course, refused to answer questions.

Speaking of, they talked about the three kinds of witnesses they heard from: those who came freely, those who came under subpoena but answered freely, and those who fought tooth-and-nail and then refused to answer questions, often people who had been in Trump’s inner circle. Those people annoyed the shit out of them, not because of any preconceived notions they had about people taking the Fifth — hearteningly, prosecutors made sure they didn’t have those — but because they knew it was going to take forever and be tedious as fuck.

Of course, jurors report that sometimes when those dicks would refuse to answer questions, prosecutors would helpfully play videos of them talking elsewhere, to fill out the record.

Jurors dropped some details about what some folks did say to them. This quip from Lindsey Graham is getting a lot of play:

“He said that during that time, if somebody had told Trump that aliens came down and stole Trump ballots, that Trump would’ve believed it,” the juror said.

Such a pathetic damned idiot.

One juror talked about how gross it was seeing certain witnesses speak one way to them and then go back out on the campaign trail and say election-denying garbage. But these last quotes are a bit more uplifting:

“I can honestly give a damn of whoever goes to jail, you know, like personally,” one juror said. “I care more about there being more respect in the system for the work that people do to make sure elections are free and fair.”

Said another juror: “I tell my wife if every person in America knew every single word of information we knew, this country would not be divided as it is right now.”

The grand jurors said they understand why the public release of their full final report needs to wait until Willis makes indictment decisions.

“A lot’s gonna come out sooner or later,” one of the jurors said. “And it’s gonna be massive. It’s gonna be massive.”

Well, that gives us hope, because unlike that very nice juror who doesn’t care who goes to jail, we are much meaner than that and we would like to see at least 10 people buried underneath Guantanamo over this, starting with Mr. Perfect Calls himself.

Speaking of, let’s see if he’s going berserk or anything.

We’ll mark that one down as a “yes.”

[AJC]

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