It’s not uncommon for people to get into relationships and feel like they’re slowly losing who they were beforehand. Whether that’s a good or bad thing is typically up to the person experiencing the changes. However, women in these situations have been taking to TikTok to complain about #boyfriendair and how this phenomenon has left them feeling icky. The true question is whether this shared experience has any validity or whether there are practical solutions to remedy the problem.
What Is “Boyfriend Air”?
“Boyfriend Air” is a term that some TikTok users have coined to describe the theory that spending time with your boyfriend or significant other can make your appearance worse, such as making your hair greasy, your skin break out, or your makeup fade.
Some users have shared their before and after photos or videos to show the effects of boyfriend air on their looks. Boyfriend air is not a widely accepted or proven phenomenon but a slang term that some people use to express their frustration or dissatisfaction with their appearance after spending time with their partners.
Do You Lose Yourself Once You Get Into a Relationship?
When you get into a relationship, your behaviors naturally change a bit unless you’re dating someone who’s exactly like you. For example, if you were previously a homebody but you’re dating someone who likes to go out, then you may find that you’re going out more than you used to, drinking more than you used to, and so on.
Sometimes, these changes are seen as improvements if you feel the other person complements your personality. Other times, women feel like they let themselves go because they got comfortable. With the latter, you usually hear complaints that they don’t get their hair done like they used to, their makeup is never right anymore, and they don’t feel like themselves.
What’s Really Happening?
In reality, spending time with your boyfriend doesn’t intrinsically make you look bad. Other factors, such as the environment, hygiene, stress, or hormones, may influence the recent change in your appearance. On one end of the argument, some say focus on the recent exposure. Again, habits shift when dating, affecting eating, drinking, and skincare routines. Sleep patterns also change (staying out more and sleeping over), which disrupts established habits.
Coming into contact with a partner’s facial hair, new laundry detergent, aftershaves, and unfamiliar personal care products during intimate moments can trigger skin issues, breakouts, rashes, and unknowingly remove makeup.
Others argue that you’re just simply not doing as much to maintain your appearance as you were when you were searching for a partner. You’re less focused on you and more focused on them, which leads to a “glow down,” so to speak.
Are There Any Solutions to This Phenomenon?
The key to feeling better about yourself while in a relationship is self-care. Yes, we love our partners, but it’s incredibly important to care for your mental, emotional, and physical well-being while caring about your significant other. Additionally, ensure that there aren’t any new products or habits that could be irritating your skin or negatively affecting your health.
Why Self-Care Is So Important
Self-care is vital. Taking time for oneself allows you to recharge, manage stress, and maintain a healthy balance in life. It enhances resilience, reduces burnout, and facilitates a positive self-image. Prioritizing self-care is essential for overall health, as it’ll empower you to be the best version of yourself in other areas of your life, such as with your career, platonic relationships, and more. There are tons of self-care tips that’ll help you feel and look your best while dating.
1. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness cultivates present-moment awareness, helping you navigate the complexities of dating with clarity. It reduces stress, enhances emotional regulation, and builds a deeper connection with your experiences, promoting a more fulfilling dating journey.
2. Exercise Regularly
Regular exercise boosts physical health and releases endorphins, elevating mood and keeping stress at bay. Incorporating fitness into your routine during dating provides an outlet for tension, increases self-confidence, and gives you a goal to work toward that always allows you to focus on yourself for a bit.
3. Treat Yourself to a Spa Day
A spa day can be a great way to pamper yourself and relax your body and mind. You can go to a professional spa or create your own at home with some candles, music, aromatherapy, and DIY treatments. You can enjoy a facial, a massage, or just being catered to by someone else. You deserve to feel good and look good!
4. Plan a Date Night for Yourself
A date night with yourself can be a fun and empowering way to celebrate your individuality and independence. You can do whatever you want, whether it’s going to the movies, dining at a fancy restaurant, or exploring a new place. You don’t need anyone else to enjoy your own company. This practice reinforces a positive relationship with yourself, encourages introspection, and creates a strong foundation for healthy dating dynamics.
5. Engage in One of Your Favorite Hobbies
A hobby can help you express your creativity, learn new skills, challenge yourself, and connect with others who share your interests. Pursuing your hobbies during dating provides a sense of continuity and joy. It allows you to maintain a personal identity amid shared experiences.
6. Spend Time Journaling
Journaling is a therapeutic outlet during dating, providing a space to express thoughts and emotions. It enhances self-awareness, aiding in understanding relationship dynamics and personal growth. This reflective practice promotes emotional resilience, facilitating a healthier and more intentional approach to dating. You can journal in any way that suits you, such as writing, drawing, or using prompts.
7. Take a Solo Vacation
A solo vacation can be a fantastic opportunity to explore the world, discover yourself, and have some adventure. Embarking on a solo vacation while dating offers a break from routine and a chance to undergo personal growth. It also allows you to recharge and return to dating with a refreshed perspective, contributing positively to personal and relational aspects.
8. Learn Something New
Learning something new while dating is just another opportunity to focus on yourself and pursue the goals that people often forget when they begin planning for “we” instead of “me.” There’s nothing wrong with joint goals, but taking some time to stimulate your brain and expand your horizons individually is good. You can learn anything that interests you, such as a new language, a musical instrument, a sport, or a craft. You can also enroll in a course, join a club, etc.
9. Develop a Morning Skincare Routine
If you feel like your skin just isn’t behaving, and you’re trying to understand what’s happening, begin with a consistent skincare routine. It can help start your day on a positive note, set your intentions, and prepare for the challenges ahead. Give yourself a refresher from the night before and go into the day with a fresh glow. This may require testing new products, but that’s part of the fun!
10. Develop a Nighttime Skincare Routine
Likewise, a night routine can help you end your day peacefully, unwind, and get ready for a good night’s sleep. Remove your makeup thoroughly, apply a good moisturizer, and allow your skin to rest from being exposed to the elements all day. Hopefully, you will see some improvement between catering to your skin at the beginning and end of the day.
11. Eat Well
Eating well can help you maintain physical and mental health, prevent diseases, and boost your mood and energy. It’s a fundamental self-care tip during dating that easily gets overlooked. I’m a major foodie and love to go out and try new restaurants, but it’s critical not to overdo it. Figure out ways to incorporate nutrient-rich foods into date night and nourish your body with a balanced diet of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats.
12. Drink Water
Drinking enough water can help you stay hydrated, flush out toxins, regulate your body temperature, and improve your skin and hair. This foundational habit contributes to a holistic sense of well-being and radiance. You need to get those 8 glasses a day at all costs!
13. Get Enough Sleep
Getting enough sleep can help you restore your body and mind. You can get enough sleep by aiming for seven to nine hours a night, or more if needed. Staying out late can be fun and often accompanies the dating journey, especially with younger couples, but you quite literally need your beauty rest. It’s essential to combating bags under your eyes, puffiness, a dull complexion, increased wrinkles, redness, and more.
14. Make a Monthly Hair Appointment
I don’t know about anyone else, but walking out of the salon with a fresh hairstyle (or watching a YouTube video, doing it myself, and achieving great results) makes me feel like a million bucks! Scheduling a monthly hair appointment is a self-care investment that provides a consistent grooming routine and makes you feel and look amazing for yourself and your partner.
15. Have a Girl’s Night Once a Month
A monthly girl’s night is a crucial social self-care practice during dating. It nurtures friendships, provides emotional support, and offers a break from the dating routine. This connection with friends promotes balance, joy, and a sense of community. It’s easy to neglect your friends when you meet a new guy, and you never want them to feel like they aren’t important to you anymore just because you met someone new.
16. Clear Communication
Learning how to communicate effectively is among the most important ways to care for yourself. Clear communication is essential for a healthy dating experience. Expressing thoughts and feelings openly builds understanding, establishes trust, strengthens connections, and creates a positive environment for both of you. If you’re feeling gross, let him know and you two can work together to figure out how to get you back on track.
17. Adjust His Products
Asking him to consider adjusting his products during dating involves open communication about preferences and sensitivities. This collaborative practice ensures comfort and compatibility. It reflects mutual consideration and helps develop a supportive atmosphere, contributing to a positive and enjoyable dating experience for both partners.
18. Take Daily Vitamins
Taking daily vitamins is a proactive self-care step during dating, supporting your health and vitality. Nutrient supplementation enhances energy levels and improves immune function. This habit is excellent for building physical resilience and mental clarity for a more vibrant experience in your romantic journey.
19. Reduce Alcohol Consumption
Reducing alcohol consumption is a mindful self-care choice during dating. It’s not that you can’t drink at all, but if you feel like your physical appearance is taking a hit, it doesn’t hurt to reduce or cut the alcohol for a while to see if it helps. This intentional adjustment promotes a healthier lifestyle, ensuring you engage in dating with presence, authenticity, and a clear state of mind.
Creshonda Smith is a creative writer that thrives on learning something new everyday and sharing that knowledge in a way that captivates others. She has 15 years of experience as a freelance writer for various companies, but she was previously a Clinical Social Worker, having obtained her Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees from The Ohio State University. After nearly 10 years in the field, she decided it was time to return to one of her childhood passions—writing that inspires. Creshonda will tackle any topic, but she prefers lifestyle articles centered around Health & Wellness, Parenting & Family Advice, Food + Drinks, Personal Growth, and Traveling. She has four beautiful children and has been married for a decade. Her favorite hobbies include traveling to anywhere there’s a beach, reading, writing, and playing UNO! Creshonda has been a contributing writer for Wealth of Geeks since June 2023.
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