Crime Guy’s Lawyers Go To Justice Department To Say Hey, Don’t Charge Crime Guy With Crimes

A couple weeks ago, we all laughed and laughed at the dumbstupid letter Donald Trump’s lawyers sent to Attorney General Merrick Garland, respectfully begging for a meeting so they could explain that Special Counsel Jack Smith was a witch hunter doing witch hunts, and that Hunter Biden exists. It was widely interpreted as a sign that indictments were very soon coming in Smith’s BOXES HOAX, which is what Trump calls the investigation into why he stole all those classified state secrets and placed them inside his bottom so the FBI wouldn’t find them when they came calling.

It sounds like that meeting happened this morning, though apparently not with anybody as important as Garland. This was their meeting to explain that the Justice Department has it all wrong and Donald Trump is the purest of good men with only the best intentions, blah blah blah, innocent until suck my balls, or however it goes. Also CNN says they brought with them allegations of prosecutorial misconduct, so that’s amusing.

The Washington Post reports it was John Rowley and James Trusty, the two lawyers on that letter, plus Lindsey Halligan, another one of the idiots.


Trump himself is doing fine:

Here is the text of that “truth” from Trump’s Truth Social, in case a drag queen wants to read it at today’s Story Hour:

HOW CAN DOJ POSSIBLY CHARGE ME, WHO DID NOTHING WRONG, WHEN NO OTHER PRESIDENT’S WERE CHARGED, WHEN JOE BIDEN WON’T BE CHARGED FOR ANYTHING, INCLUDING THE FACT THAT HE HAS 1,850 BOXES, MUCH OF IT CLASSIFIED, AND SOME DATING BACK TO HIS SENATE DAY WHEN EVEN DEMOCRAT SENATORS ARE SHOCKED. ALSO, PRESIDENT CLINTON HAD DOCUMENTS, AND WON IN COURT. CROOKED HILLARY DELETED 33,000 EMAILS, MANY CLASSIFIED, AND WASN’T EVEN CLOSE TO BEING CHARGED! ONLY TRUMP – THE GREATEST WITCH HUNT OF ALL TIME!

INCLUDING THE FACT THAT HE HAS 1,850 BOXES, MUCH OF IT CLASSIFIED, AND SOME DATING BACK TO HIS SENATE DAY WHEN EVEN DEMOCRAT SENATORS ARE SHOCKED.

That’s our favorite part.

WHEN EVEN DEMOCRAT SENATORS ARE SHOCKED.

Trump was glad to hear the other day that Mike Pence would not be charged for the classified documents they found in his house, but demanded to know when he would be “fully exonerated” just like Pence was.

And then last night, it appears he was just hallucinating:

Reports are the Marxist Special Prosecutor, DOJ, & FBI, want to Indict me on the BOXES HOAX, despite all of the wrongdoing that they have done for SEVEN YEARS, including SPYING ON MY CAMPAIGN. Biden Crimes go unpunished, including that he had Boxes in Chinatown, in his garage by the “Corvette,” & 1,850 Boxes in Delaware that he won’t allow anyone to see. That is real OBSTRUCTION! They seek retribution for Republicans looking into Biden’s CRIMES! I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG. ELECTION INTERFERENCE!

Okeydoke.

So he’s freaking the fuck out.

Meanwhile, this week the grand jury in the case is back and hearing more evidence, reports NBC News. And the New York Times has a story about how former Trump lawyer Evan Corcoran apparently made a long and detailed recording last year of his thoughts, feelings, recollections, and reflections on an entire month of the case. Prosecutors have this tape now, and it sounds pretty juicy:

In complete sentences and a narrative tone that sounded as if it had been ripped from a novel, Mr. Corcoran recounted in detail a nearly monthlong period of the documents investigation, according to two people familiar with the matter.

Mr. Corcoran’s narration of his recollections covered his initial meeting with Mr. Trump in May last year to discuss a subpoena from the Justice Department seeking the return of all classified materials in the former president’s possession, the people said.

It also encompassed a search that Mr. Corcoran undertook last June in response to the subpoena for any relevant records being kept at Mar-a-Lago, Mr. Trump’s private club and residence in Florida. He carried out the search in preparation for a visit by prosecutors, who were on their way to enforce the subpoena and collect any sensitive material found remaining there.

Uh yeah, we guess that sounds like it might be helpful evidence. Remember, in March, both DC District Court Judge Beryl Howell and an appeals court panel ruled that attorney-client privilege didn’t apply with Corcoran because of the crime-fraud exception, because of a reasonable belief Trump had lied to him about the location of certain classified documents. So that’s why Jack Smith has that. Boxes hoax, election interference, etc., and so forth.

The Times says Trump aides are scared of this one. “The level of detail in the recording is said to have angered and unnerved close aides to Mr. Trump, who are worried it contains direct quotes from sensitive conversations.”

Guess they’ll just have to keep worrying.

Appeals Court Agrees That Trump Too Crimey-Fraudy To Assert Privilege Over Lawyer’s Testimony

In the meantime, some very smart legal experts have put together a 186-page Model Prosecution Memo over at Just Security, taking all the publicly available evidence in BOXES HOAX and analyzing which crimes Trump could and should be indicted for. And to be clear, they think he’s going to be:

This model prosecution memorandum assesses potential charges federal prosecutors may bring against former President Donald Trump. It focuses on those emanating from his handling of classified documents and other government records since leaving office on January 20, 2021. It includes crimes related to the removal and retention of national security information and obstruction of the investigation into his handling of these documents. The authors have decades of experience as federal prosecutors and defense lawyers, as well as other legal expertise. Based upon this experience and the analysis that follows, we conclude that Trump should–and likely will–be charged.

Lock him up where we never have to listen to his face again.

[New York Times / Just Security]

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